Boarding for sixth form?

[youareloved]

My DD has expressed an interest to go to boarding school for sixth form, Im totally new to boarding in general so advice would be appreciated! DD went to a state primary, then private secondary for 2 years, we then moved and we have started home educating her for GCSE years. She loved the structure of school and being around people, so i think she might enjoy boarding, but it's also a big change from what she's doing right now, might be a helpful stepping stone to university though?

DD has researched schools, and liked Pangbourne College, Ackworth, Gordonstoun, Lathallan, Downside, and Kings Canterbury.

DD isn't extremely sporty as her school didn't offer anything other than basic PE once a week, but is up to try anything. Likes drama and music more than sport definitely! DD is predicated As so far at GCSE (she does an online HE program), but I'm not sure how accurate that is because it's not based on exam-situation tests?

Does anyone have experience with any of these school? Or can recommend others? Or any experience with boarding for sixth form in general, is it hard to break into friendship groups? also does anyone know whether schools would be opposed to accepting a homeschooled child?? or maybe it's too much of a change for DD (I know that's a very personal call though!) and I might be better going for a day school.

Thank you so much!! This is all very new to me, and any advice is really helpful! :)

mummyontherun86 that sounds awful, Im sorry you had to go through that. DD likes structure and routine but maybe too much of a change from having little to having too much! Were you quite independent before going?? DD can also be susceptible to peer pressure, so I'd have to make her really check out whether drugs are a problem in the boarding houses! Hopefully we'll be able to judge it from taster days, but definitely have to make sure it's right for DD and not too much to adjust to.

Strathallan do a big school show (musical) at least every other year...

You will get drugs and alcohol in every school unfortunately. There were instances in my DS top Public school and there have been instances in our local comp so I wouldn't dwell too much on that. You will have that element wherever but what you can consider is how each school deals with it.

As for structure - it is a boarding school. They are responsible for your child. They must have children signing in and out otherwise it would be chaos if there was an incident of some kind. Have to agree re the bells though. Their lives are dictated to by bells! I think Fettes do a mixed 6th form as they have a dedicated 6th form house which is geared up for preparing them for uni life, if I remember correctly. However, I think most parents want the schools to keep boys and girls segregated for obvious reasons for sleeping arrangements!

With regards sports gear. I wouldn't go and spend a fortune but a pair of trackies and a hoody would be ideal along with a plain T-shirt. The girls tend to play in skorts with trackies over the top. A swim suit would be useful too.

When it comes to music, art, drama and facilities, it is almost a given that they will all be of a high standard. What it really comes down to is how a school feels, does it fit your child's personality, does it make you feel comfortable leaving your child there, will your daughter have a good relationship with the Housemistress, is there a big enough cohort to allow her to fit in and make friends, are there enough clubs and societies that suit her interests and what are the destination Universities if she is hoping for a particular Uni or course.

I don’t think I had more freedom or independence than was normal for my state school peers. I was a trustworthy teen so no reason for my parents to restrict me especially. I’m talking about meeting friends after school not partying at 1am. I found it a weird mix of very restrictive in terms of ‘be here, sign here’ but no actual warmth or care. It’s like they were covering their backs, approximating care but When I was upset no adult would notice or care. Where’s at home my parents (mum probably) would have. I’m not sure how you’d know if drugs were a problem, the staff didn’t know and neither would the parents.

Sorry for numerous typos, typing with a helping toddler!

If she really wants to do Higher's and Advanced H 's you're choices will be smaller. I think all the main boarding schools are A levels or IB. Strathallan (and I think Glenalmond now too) offer Higher's as an alternative but over two years, so no Advanced Higher option. Depending on what and where her university thoughts are this option will either be ok or not.
Second the plain black or navy skirt and jumper option for taster. Games kit....those shorts that are tight underneath with loose fabric above are good or trackies with a tshirt. Hoodies, trackies and jeans if she's staying for a few days. Think comfy...Not jazzy!! Not unless she wants to be the centre of attention!
The schools should let you have the taster stays. The only issue you might now have is fitting them in. Is it this Sept she'd be starting? If so, you need to get on it. After Easter it's exam season so between study leave and the actual exams the actual 'school time' next term is tiny.

DD isn't too fussed about the highers/adv. highers, she's happy to do A levels, just prefers the familiarity of highers! The choices are much larger for A levels, so it's better to be flexible on it. I'm pretty sure that 2 year highers wouldn't matter for her unis/courses, she doesn't want to do medicine/law/vet medicine.

Thanks for the help on the sports uniform, I'll make sure to get that!

DD would be starting 2019, but I think most schools have an application deadline in October and I want to be certain of what schools we're applying to! And I want DD to be comfortable with the schools at the entrance tests etc.

The signing in and out seems reasonable, I've definitely seen it on all the websites, it would be a pain if you were rushing off somewhere but better safe than sorry!

About the pastoral care, would asking the pupils about it help to find out if it's actually great, or would they just lie and say it is? I have such a long list of questions to ask now, really ready for those visits!

Re pastoral care....I'm not sure any pupils would lie if you asked them a straight out question but she'd be more likely to pick up on any gossip or chat when she was on the taster sessions rather than on a walk around with parents.
2019 gives you more time to investigate then. Check out websites as I think a lot of open days will be coming up soon (before Easter). Then I'd start trying out taster stays.

My DD was a regular guide for prospective parents at her school, both on open days and ad hoc visits where people wanted a non packaged day. She did not lie. They were not expected to lie but obviously would point out good things about the school. My DD was always asked, by parents, for her opinion of the school and how it dealt with a whole range of topics, and she gave information honestly, usually with enthusiasm! I think you get to the truth as that child sees it. If they do not see drugs, they don't see drugs. If the school has not excluded for drugs, then it may have been dealt with any issues through counselling. That is quite normal these days. Often it is children selling who are excluded. Don't forget parents take drugs. Not everyone is lily white.

Addditionally, children have money in these schools, as you would expect. Some will drink too much. A tiny minority will have sex with each other (in the grounds probably). Some will do questionable things. However, your DD will not do any of these things because she is your DD. There is really no need to worry about what other pupils do and they will be a tiny minority.

I would look at each school's behaviour policy and drugs policy and see if you are in agreement with them. We continually went to school dinners and theatre/music events at school where the school served wine. That did not mean anyone became an alcoholic.

I agee about taster days and starting to book in open days. Talk to Admissions staff. They will all be helpful.

Pastoral care is very subjective. We found the pastoral care at DS2's school to be excellent I know others were not so impressed. I worked at a big name boarding school with IMO a justified excellent reputation for very high standards of pastoral care but again I know of at least one parent who would disagree. We took children from other big name big name boarding schools who were very impressed with the pastoral care offered when compared with where they'd come from and I know staff who work there they will tell you pastoral care is good but not outstanding but a parent on here says something different.
Pastoral care is also very dependent on the individual staff involved, DS2 had an excellent caring HM, or shall we say caring in a way that worked for him, I've worked with HMs and other house staff from different schools they all have different approaches it might work for Your DC it might not.
Ditto school counsellors, I know someone at a boarding school who went to see the school counsellor and found her hopeless another found her great.
With regard to drugs alcohol etc its inevitable that there will be children in boarding schools who take them many have considerable sums in their bank accounts, teenagers are frequently tempted by drugs and alcohol and at boarding school especially those which are more urban there are opportunities to purchase drugs and alcohol and children are usually unsupervised outside of the school grounds. I personally wouldn't loose any sleep over this.
Some schools definitely offer more freedom than others, DS2's school offered a lot of freedom I can name others which I know don't. You and your DD need to decide what level of freedom you are most comfortable with. But there will always be some rules its inevitable you cant have up to 1000+ children living on a site without rules, some school just have more than others and will place more emphasis on some more than others.
Few children when asked about their schools will totally slag to off, they are usually very loyal and unless they are constantly moving around will have limited experience of many other schools.

@youareloved
Where did dd end up? Was it a good move?

I would just to like to defend Gordonstoun (though this might be an old thread but could still be useful!) I am actually a current pupil at gordonstoun, on musmnet as I always find it interestinl looking at what people think about Gordonstoun and thought i'd add my opinion to the mix!
I joined to 6th form, I went to a very good English public school with a pretty impressive academic reputation but I was blooming lazy when it came to my GCSE's (managed to pull it out of the bag though, but decided to move schools incase I didn't reach the required grades to stay for 6th form and if that had happened I would've been royally screwed with about 3 days to find a new school!)
I did have vague Scottish school connections - my dad went to glenalmond, my uncle to Rannoch so I thought i'd join the 'frozen north'. It has honestly been absolutely brilliant - I am sitting alevels this year and coming to the end of 2 years here, it has been brilliant and lots of fun, I have met lots of lovely people, made some great friends hopefully for life! it has completely changed my outlook, I was a bit snobby about its academic reputation (despite being v lazy, slightly ironic) but the extra curricular or 'value added' from a parents POV is just outstanding. [my parents say they are much happier signing the cheque for Gordonstoun compared to my old school, if that tells you anything!] I have spent a week on a sailing boat around the west coast, numerous camping expeditions in the cairngorms. I'm not a sport god by any means but have played 2nds hockey and the school is great for encouraging you to give anything a go!
you are kept pretty busy but it is a good kind of tired in my opinion, the whole ethos is give everything a go atleast once which I think works really well. if you have any questions don't hesitate to message me :)