So how do people...

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Come to terms with knowing your dc will be going to a less than desirable school?

We are tutoring in the hope of passing the 11 plus however I'm still not sure even if my dd did pass a grammar school would be the right fit anyway.

Realistically I don't think she will pass, which means the local academy.

Which by the way was ripped apart by Ofsted for poor teaching, lack of differentiation, uninspiring lessons and the worst gcse results in the area.

By low I mean less than 40 percent of a-c grades.

Has anyone had this and it been ok?

Right now im just feeling like crap that my "choices" are her sitting an exam she has no real hope of passing and possibly struggling in the school if she some how does

Or the worst school around .

[BertrandRussell]

Smithing=smoking. Although smithing would be interesting.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

No there's no such thing as a feeder school as far as I know round here. And we aren't religious so can't really go the church route like I know a family who did to get into a primary.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

I've no doubt it does bertrand

After years on public transport I've seen plenty of not so nice behaviour from kids from alot of the schools.

Bragging about skiving off, sneaking off to smoke, throwing their rubbish down, racism and homophobia, name calling, spiteful bitching, pushing and shoving etc

Really not ready for dd to be joining all that tbh

[BertrandRussell]

I think you need to be very open with your dc. If she wants too grades and is in a school that for whatever reason isn't geared up for getting lots of kids top grades then she has to take more responsibility than she might at a different school. Which is not necesarily a bad thing.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

I have bertrand and I am.

But im.sure as you know what you say and do when you are going to be the oldest in the school vs going back to being the smallest can be different things.

[BertrandRussell]

Oh God, I know. It's awful. Sorry, I wasn't trying to imply that it isn't.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Behaviour outside of schools is definately worse than it was when I was a kid.

I was also bullied alot in primary and a bit in secondary to so I know how awful behaviour inside can be. But at least there wasn't face book you could get away from.it.

[GnomeDePlume]

Not all kids at rough schools hang out in parks drinking and smoking. Some do, a lot dont. Encouraging your DD into structured non-school activities will help to dilute the influence of the more troublesome groups.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Oh she can hang around in the park. There will however still be a curfew which with any luck will mean she won't be there when people start causing trouble and i have a friend who's a bus driver so of there's any nonsense on the bus I will know!!!

I think it's unrealistic to think she can't go to the park ever at some point I'll have to trust her

[Gileswithachainsaw]

I will however have to however towards not doing it around the skate park bit. Thats always full of people smoking weed

[SleepWhatSleep1]

Have you taken her around both schools? It sounds to me that if you get her on board she may focus and stop self sabotaging? Which school does she want to go to? Is the dithering symptomatic of fear of change? Transfer to secondary is very scary!

[Gileswithachainsaw]

The open days aren't til September unfortunately

[SleepWhatSleep1]

Other than that I've done supply in the local "bad" schools - grmmaar area - loads of teachers off with stress etc. And yes it was pretty awful, but the kids who were determined and could self motivate and rise above the mayhem actually got pretty good exam results - all As with a few A, comparwd to the excellent, very posh area intake I last had a permanent role in, and yes lots got 13As, but also lots had anorexia, depression, anxiety etc from the high pressure.

[SleepWhatSleep1]

Could you visit our of open days? Most schools I've taught in also did as hoc visits especially at this time of year when the exam lot have left.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

I phoned a couple a few weeks ago and they just said to wait til he open days and that they will put the dates up on the web sites.

She's been to some of them on sporting events though and doesn't seem particularly fussed about what she's seen on any of them.

[SleepWhatSleep1]

Helpful . My dd1 is only yr1 but I can imagine we will be in the same situation in a few short years so you have my sympathies

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Thanks

Doesn't help that I'm surrounded by people who have kids at secondary in the play ground and who are all sharing stories of what's going on with their kids.

And of course there's face book where also alot is put about what is happening to their kids at various schools

[SleepWhatSleep1]

Well you always get a lot of that no matter how good the school is. So pinch of salt and 3 sides to every story etc.

Can you move and transfer jobs? Ie to another part of the country with cheaper housing etc? We are thinking we will have to do that if our local sink school doesn't improve. I really hate the grammar school system...

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Unfortunately that's not an option wish it was

[Wumpychoo]

So much depends on who your kids choose to hang out with I think. Dd goes to a regular comp. I hear of all sorts of things that kids get up to at her school, but dd has good taste in friends and hangs out with a pretty nice bunch of kids who don't really get involved in any dramas/ nastiness/trouble at all. She isn't aware of some of the things I hear of. Some she is but hasn't seen it first hand.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Yes thankfully she has had very good taste in friends. Despite what I see at home

She has been very sensible in what she does and who she does it with and staying out of all the stupid crazes

[youarenotkiddingme]

If the HT is aware, open and honest about the problems and has a good school improvement plan that's viable things could improve quickly.

Have a look at recent ofsted report and what it says about school improvement plan and comments about senior leadership being aware and schools capacity to improve.

My ds attended the local academy which has a great reputation and great gcse results and sells their image.

In reality it was disastrous for him (asd and ld) and it became apparent why their results were so good - they drove out the dead weight!

Obviously that's just my experience (but is true to school as have since met loads of parents who've kids suffered the same there).

But it makes you realise that schools with poor percentage probably take and work with kids from all backgrounds and that makes them inclusive - which is great.
What they need to do and may well do is work out what they need to do to meet the diverse needs of the children.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

kidding

Thank you for your post.

The report just states really that the head is aware and has tackled the attendance and the behaviour problems.

It is certainly an Inclusive and diverse school though has a higher than national average of everything

[youarenotkiddingme]

It's very likely an able student like your DD - and she is able if she can pass 11+ however much she may have to work for it - will do well even in a failing school. This is because she has the capacity to learn and will.

The results will reflect poor attendance and behaviour of that higher than national average groups of disadvantaged children.

It can and will have an affect on others but how much of an affect it will have on your DD results is the bit of unknown. E.g. - how much will others behaviour affect her learning in the classroom.
The best way really to see that for yourself is to arrange a visit during school hours. Ask HT to meet for a look around saying you are considering school for DD. Look for yourself what the school environment is really like.