Angry 9pm emails to teachers of Independent schools

[jeanne16]

This is very common apparently, according to Daily Mail article. After a glass of wine, parents fire off angry emails to teachers, expecting instant replies.

So have you ever done this and if so, what was your complaint?

[apple1992]

Lottie - what position are you to get these emails? Do the 'child is sick' ones not go to an attendance officer/someone pastoral?

I'm really surprised that so many email the headteacher direct. I don't think this happens much in state schools. I know ours the headteacher's email address is never ever given out, unless the HT does directly. Phone calls all go through a PA.

[LottieDoubtie]

They haven't all come to me personally! It really was just a sample list - although Granny's 90th is a bit of a running joke- some peoples Granny's are 90 awfully often!

Independent schools don't generally have attendance officers.

Most of these emails I would expect to be addressed to a Housemaster/Mistress who would generally also teach.

[happygardening]

Gobbolin 40 over 5 years I can assure you that's nothing! Mainly DS can go home on Sunday with X, or sorry for not completing school intranet about who DS is going home with this exeat despite the fact you've reminded me three times already.
Mainly that kind of stuff. But this kind of emailing is inevitable when your DC is at a boarding school.

[Gobbolino6]

Ah, I see, thanks. I was thinking that I've only emailed school once...but ours still insists on a signed paper note for sickness or appointments, and I've sent a few of those.
I thought people were talking about complaints or questions about the curriculum!

[happygardening]

We are told on joining don't ask for permission to take our DC's out of school to go to family events how ever important the answer will be a polite no.

[happygardening]

I don't think I've ever asked a question about the curriculum either on an email or face to face. What would I ask?

[southeastdweller]

This email obsession has got way out of hand, in many job industries. To those who've said 'I'm teaching in work hours', why don't you reply soon after you teach or as soon as you get home, after 3.30?

I think the parents of those of us of a certain age managed fine before email, didn't they, when they could only visit and write letters?

[Gobbolino6]

Happy, no idea, but I was trying to think what these angry parents might be angry about!

[noblegiraffe]

^To those who've said 'I'm teaching in work hours', why don't you reply soon after you teach or as soon as you get home, after 3.30?^

Because I have young children to look after. I work once they're in bed.

[happygardening]

I suspect most parents in independent schools who send angry emails are complaining that their DC is not doing any where near as well as they believed they should be in either school exams, public exams or getting into certain universities. People seem to be labouring under the impression that paying means your child is guaranteed to do well academically regardless of his intellectual ability or motivation and then jump up and down and blame the school when the the child doesn't do well..

[foragogo]

I send all my emails after 10pm never mind 9pm as that is the earliest I am free to do so. I don't expect anywhere near instant replies. I don't think any have been angry either - just informational. However, with the younger children, I always read their homework diaries/reading records as soon as we get in and I have been know to put the odd sarcastic rant in there - normally when they are complainig about my youngest being happy and chatty, sometimes ripped out later that evening.

[JinRamen]

I send emails to my child's state school. I very rarely ever get w reply, even a thanks for your email email!

[LottieDoubtie]

Happygardening I'm fairly sure from reading your posts that I haven't taught at your DC's schools but the similar(ish) schools I have worked in try the 'Don't ask about Granny's 90th' tack and most of the lovely reasonable parents follow the rules... but there are always those that don't!

So an angry email might well follow the polite no from the school.

Angry emails also come in occasionally after 'incidents' with incompetent/inexperienced members of staff. They don't happen all the time but independent schools are not immune from curriculum/behaviour cock ups- and parents (often understandably) get angry if they feel their fee money isn't guaranteeing a perfect and non disrupted education.

[JinRamen]

To clarify, they aren't angry emails! Just asking for info
Ones (that ain't on the website or Twitter or Facebook - I check those first!)

[happygardening]

Lottie you right I'm sure parents with DC's at independent schools also regularly complain about incompetent/inexperienced teachers, and of course they exist in both sectors. My view is "that's life get on with it" as they go through their working lives they'll meet incompetent and inexperienced work colleagues they have to learn to make the best of it, obviously when your stumping up considerable sums of money I guess others aren't so pragmatic.
With regard to taking you child out of school for granny's 90th I suspect the more oversubscribed a school is the more bullish it can be about this sort of thing and other similar types of things.

[LottieDoubtie]

Absolutely I agree. It depends on the ethos a little as well- some schools feel differently about the importance of the first teams v. family life- and parents sometimes find themselves at the wrong 'type' of school for them and this causes no end of issues.

MOST parents in my experience take the kind of pragmatic view that you do, but there are always exceptions. The angriest email I have personally fielded came from a mother about her daughters Gold DoE. Over-invested, helicopter parenting at it's absolute worst.

[seven201]

I definitely prefer receiving emails to phone calls as I'm teaching so can't be reached. Then it turns into a tennis match of answer phone messages and having to look up the phone number etc. I have outlook on my phone and usually respond to work emails from the sofa so that I am clear for the next day. I don't care at all what time a parent emails! Also being secondary and a non-core subject an email gives me a chance to work out which child they're talking about. I think I teach about 8 Isabelle's and I definitely don't know all their surnames!

[apple1992]

Question: If you emailed school right at the end of term, and the email was answered during half-term/holiday, would you expect a response during the holiday or not until return to school?

If that member of staff returned your email during the holiday, would you expect a quick response, or not until back at school?

[happygardening]

Lottie I don't just think it's about first teams v family life at least it's not at DS's school. It's the principle of the thing if you sign up for a school that only offers full boarding then you have to accept that you can't take you DS out whenever you feel like it. Also once you let one lot do it then we're all be coming up with reasons to bring our DS's home for Saturday night and then it becomes a weekly boarding school and that changes the whole atmosphere and ethos.

[LottieDoubtie]

Yes, at a full boarding school I absolutely agree- there is an ethos that needs protecting for it to work and remain fair to all. The discussion is about all independents though and my examples weren't meant to be limited to just the full boarding environments.

[BackforGood]

I'm not independent school user, but I tend to send most of my e-mails in life after 11 o'clock at night, because that is the time I get to sit down at the computer and deal with my own life, and my own e-mails.
The beauty of e-mails is that the person receiving them, doesn't have to open / read them at the same time they are sent. Everyone can open them when it is their working time.
If the staff are looking at their e-mails then, then that is their choice, there's no compulsion or expectation.
I was most a couple of months ago when I was responding to an e-mail my dd's school had sent out, and I needed to ask a question, so sent a reply. I did so at about midnight, because that's when I read the information they'd sent out (during my working day, so I wouldn't be able to have seen it then), and then the teacher replied with her answer a few minutes later. I never, for an instant expected her to open her work e-mails until the following day when she got into school. I wasn't a "parents firing off an e-mail" expecting her to be available at that time, I was just taking advantage of the fact that e-mails don't disturb you, unless you choose to open them up - which you do when it's convenient to you.

[happygardening]

I do agree Lottie that some parents find themselves at the "wrong type of school" for them. It never ceases to amaze me that over the last five years I've talked to parents at DS's school who moan that it's full boarding and the school won't permit their DS to become either a weekly boarder or even more surprising a day boy. This is a school with a fairly complex and lengthy admissions process involving at the very least three visits to the school before confirming you want an offered place and it very clearly states on its website that every boy is a full boarder. I do think once a parent realises their DC is in the wrong school for them then everything rankles and I suspect that when angry emails are fired off at all times of the day and night.

[Jubaloo442]

(Teacher here) I prefer email to phone calls simply because the only phone in our department is a 5 min walk away. To the person who said 'why don't teachers respond at 3.30?' - meetings, data entry, revision sessions, detention duty, planning for the next day, demands from the head. Sorry, but parental enquiries are not always top of the pile.
I don't have a problem with parents having my school email address, though some persist in leaving cryptic messages with the reception staff e.g. 'It's about the homework'. I teach 14 sets per week -
480 students. Vast majority of parents are brilliant though, and are actually a pleasure to speak with.

For the record the worst emails are actually from students - 'Miss, what was the homework?' Or 'Miss please send me the PowerPoint from the lesson', followed by 4 follow ups over the weekend if you happen to be HAVING A WEEKEND!!!!! When I get a new cohort of year 7s in, we have a conversation about how to send emails that don't make people want to poke their own eyes out.

[Badbadbunny]

*I don't have a problem with parents having my school email address, though some persist in leaving cryptic messages with the reception staff e.g. 'It's about the homework'. I teach 14 sets per week -
480 students. *

Happens in all professions. I have clients who do exactly the same - some don't even say who they are beyond a "regards, Paul" at the end of the email, that comes from a "[email protected]" email address - I have several clients called "Paul" - so I need to be psychic to know who he is! Same with the kind of questions they ask - typical one in today's in box - "should I buy a car or lease one" or "how much should I pay myself" - with absolutely no other detail at all so they're impossible questions to answer. It's not "parents" who are the problem, it's "people" generally in all walks of life.

[LottieDoubtie]

Well parents are people after all...