Do you know any full boarding schools that cost less than £9000 a term?

[Immenselygrateful]

My funds are low, but I do really want my sons to benefit from the UK education system! I would give anything to give my kids the best education that I can break my back to afford ( my single mum did the same for me and my 9 siblings). That is the dream that keeps me up at night, hustling at two (and sometimes three) jobs etc. To put it simply, I will die a happy woman if my kids get that type of education.

I have looked at several schools, including (ironically)Eton, Willcoll, oakham, Dauntsey's, Canford, abingdon, Merchiston castle, Millfield and Whitgift, hoping that he can get a bursary. I have arranged for us to come ( we are from Uganda) and visit most of those this Sept. However, I think I need to be realistic and aim lower, for a school I can afford, if he does not get a bursary from any of those.

So, which schools are cheaper than those? The cheapest of the above must be Merchiston castle, which costs £9115 per term in fees alone.
Are there any good senior schools that cost less than that, and do offer full boarding ( and have some sort of good pastoral care)?
My DH is quite bright, not sporty or musical yet ( hasn't had any exposure to sport/ music...all we do in Uganda is teach teach and teach some more) but he is still doing the local curriculum ( so he may not be scholarship material at this point). I want him to join at 13 in 2017.

I am immensely grateful for your advice on this.

"Yes but maybe the OP feels her DS's life chances will significantly improved by sending him to the UK."

Maybe she does . Personally, I believe that strong family relationships are pretty important too. And I don't know much about the education system in Uganda, but I would put money on a pretty good education being available to a middle class child with the equivalent of 9K a term to spend. And, as I said, a parent pinning their hopes so firmly on a 10 year old getting to Oxford is a concern too.

If you looking for good pastoral care then any of the Quaker schools would hit the mark, I only have personal experience of Ackworth School but I'm sure all are similar. I'd have to echo some others though, fees go up on average about 6% per year, exam entrances are often extra, uniform costs are expensive as are trips and holidays. I budget for an extra 15-20% on top of fees each year for all of the "extras" some are obviously optional but many are not.
You need to make sure you can afford it until your son is 18, obviously you don't want him to get to school and then not be able to maintain it.
Good luck!

Durham Chorister is quite a lot cheaper than most of those mentioned here.

I see UWC in Swaziland has been mentioned a couple of times. DH and I both had uni friends who went there, so they are certainly getting people into top UK universities.

Hakluyt I would be surprised from what the OP has said and all our comments that she will be imposing this on her DS without consideration of what he feels. I agree with you (as all would) that strong family relationships are important but strong family relationships can exist and develop further even without periods of day to day proximity as many parents find when their teenagers go to university or leave home. I think it reflects how families are together and does n't directly correlate with the amount of time spent together.

Overseas boarding is a particularly tough choice but I observe many really happy fulfilled overseas boarders despite occasional problems with homesickness. I also suspect that British boarding schools would n't continue to see an increasing international demand if these children were returning home to HK or wherever unhappy.
If you are worried that this child may be weighed down by the OP's expectations, ironically he has a far better chance of developing his own path and self determination in the framework that excellent boarding schools provide. These appear to provide respite to DC from parental micromanagement.

Extending horizons and life chances always involves some tough times and choices. Having watched some diving today I am reminded of stories of Tom Daley finding residential training camps and being away from his family extremely difficult. I can imagine it must have been even more difficult for his parents to know whether they were doing the right thing.

"strong family relationships can exist and develop further even without periods of day to day proximity as many parents find when their teenagers go to university or leave home."

Do you not agree that there is a difference between leaving home at 11 and leaving home at 18?

Yes there is a big difference between "leaving home" at 11 and 18. My DS's boarded from 7 neither actually 'left home" in the way university students do, both have very strong relationships with us as parents. UK parents of boarding children are still very involved in their lives, in way you aren't when they are at university. I appreciate for parents abroad this is harder but from talking to the many international boarders I know the parents are still more involved that they will when at university. As I've already said nearly all of the international boarders I know are very happy at their schools, they believe their getting a unique opportunity, better than that which their own country offers, many talk about better opportunities, not just academic, the change to be fluent in English, learn a new culture and certainly for the Asian children a chance to experience a more relaxed less competitive environment. A Singaprian girl I know is really blossoming here away from her own country where exam results might be impressive but education is organised almost on military lines. Here she finds freedom of thought, genuine team work; friends help each other rather than compete against each other in everything, teachers who talk to you rather than at you, and things are dome for pleasure rather than to win a competition; a very capable musician she's discovered people in the UK play for fun not to win the next music competition. Of course she misses her family and is in very regular contact with them but she's sensible enough to see that as my DS once said after a few weeks if boarding "in life you can't have everything".

"in life you can't have everything"."

No, you can't. I suppose it's just a matter of what you think is important.

How many current international boarders do you personally know well Hakluyt in fact how many current boarders of any description do personally know well? I've read your other comments on other threads, you clearly don't believe in independent education (which is fine we are all entitled to our own views) but this leaves me wondering how much actual experience and knowledge you have of either the children themselves, the motivations of many of the parents or the relationships that exist between the parents and their boarding children.
I used to work with quite a few were anti independent education and anti boarding in particular, having talked to me and met my DS, few changed their views on independent education but many changed their views on boarding. I've never said boarding us right for all but it does work well for many whether parents live in the UK or abroad. It's not about what you think is important it's about what works for you and your DC's.

In my social circle boarding is, if not the norm, at least unexceptional,particularly for boys. I know several families with children at your son's school. I have in the past been a guardian for 3 international boarders.

Oh, and one of my brothers was a boarder. The other went to school n England while our parents were abroad, and lived with a host family.

I'm interested that you're a guardian to international boarders yet do to support the concept. I know an ever increasing number of international boarders and most I meet are happy. I also work with guardians most are committed and generous with their time and believe in the idea of boarding for children outside of the UK believing it's a excellent opportunity for the children.

Two of my godchildren are currently boarders- one prep, one public.

Hakluyt if your DS goes away for holiday with his friends or a residential holiday do you feel your family relationships have been diminished? He may or may not have found some bits tough away from you but for most DC it will have been a positive experience and one that he can share with you and is excited to do so. You then balance that with lots of normal, usually less exciting but just as important, family time together. IME boarding is a continuum of that. Physical hugs are a problem when they are away but believe me easy communication is n't, whether by texts, phone calls or Skype.
I agree leaving home to board at 11, 13 or 16ish is very different from leaving at 18 to go to university. The former means that other caring experienced adults take the relay from the parents, the latter requires much more self sufficiency.

"two of my godchildren are currently boarding"
You're in danger of telling many on here who you are, there is no point in name changing and then keep writing the same very specific stuff!
Your experiences clearly don't match mine that's all I can say. Over the years I've lost track of the numbers of boarders I've met both professionally and through my DS and his friends it's well over a couple of thousand now, nearly all our friends send their DC's to boarding school some are based in the UK, some abroad I accept some aren't happy but the vast majority are so Im afraid whatever you say I will use my exceedingly extensive past and current experience to support and advise the OP.

I am sure many people do know "who I am". I am not hiding that- I name change to prevent a superficial search finding me. For reasons you well know. But "out" me again if you like. It didn't bother you last time- presumably it won't bother you this. It seems a rather low way of dealing with people disagreeing with you- but feel free.

"Well over a thousand"?

Wow- I don't think I know 1000 people well enough to know if they are even superficially happy.

I had written such a long essay..responding to your comments and the baby deleted it before I posted it!

Bad luck OP - I was wondering where you were....

Give him/her a prospectus to read while you retype.

My cat once deleted a masterpiece I wrote. At least I can go on thinking it was a masterpiece!

Hope you get a chance to write it again- lots of ideas and opinions on here! As I'm sure you've seen.

I didn't out you I haven't even mentioned your previous nicknames you write things that out yourself I had no idea who you were until you wrote about your Godchildren. I warned you simply because I know you have had problems in the past and that writing very specific information under whatever name you choose will out you to anyone who reads you comments under whatever nickname on a regular basis. If you are that concerned about your anonymity don't post such specific comments.
I have no idea what you do for a living but as you well know I work with children, I have a DS a boarding school and have friends with DS's at boarding school hence I can state with complete truthfulness that I know so many in fact I may have underestimated the number. I also work along side many involved in education in both sectors, in the 21st century most involved with boarding not only take the welfare of their pupils very seriously they very keen to help those who are struggling and will also advise parents to take their children to alternative schools if they feel they're really unhappy. Obviously I can only speak of the schools I'm familiar with both personally and professionally, most staff genuinely care about the children, no one wants an unhappy child,from a ethical point of view, from an educational point of view and also because unhappy children effect others. Considerable time and effort is expended discussing and attempting to help unhappy children.

I know you didn't out me. On this occasion. I was just giving you my full permission to do so, should you so wish.

Anyway. Back to the OP......

What I'm genuinely interested in Hakluyt is why you feel a need to comment on these type of very specific threads and post such negative and unhelpful comments. I'm not against free speech but is there really any point? I can understand you posting your views on a thread titled "would you send your DS half way round the world for education" or something similar but why be so negative on a very specific thread? Do you really think your views will have any impact? I don't know the OP but it strikes me that she is thinking very carefully about sending her DS half way round the world for an education, I suspect that like most caring parents who send their DC's to boarding school wherever they live, she has thought very carefully about the psychological impact this will have on him and will continue thinking about until she makes a decision about what is right for him, and will also continue thinking about it if he comes to the UK. I very much doubt she is oblivious to the issues you raise.
There is also nothing wrong with being ambitious for our DC's you wanted your DC's to go to a grammar school, I think you hope your DD to go to Oxbridge why can't the OP have similar ambitions? You mentioned him becoming an artist etc I don't think the OP has said she wants her DS to not become an artists she just genuinely feels he would benefit from a Oxbridge/Harvard education what's wrong with that?

Because I have useful input. As do you. Most people are interested in all points of view. You are not prepared to accept that anyone who disagrees with you might have any valid points to make. Most people are not like that-possibly you have too much invested in your view? I don't think I have said anything "negative and unhelpful". I just haven't glossed over any potential difficulties and refused to acknowledge their existence. It is absurd to say that Sochi difficult is don,t exist.

There is a big difference between a 15/16 year old wanting to go to Oxbridge and the mother of a 10 year old saying she will die happy if said 10 year old goes to Oxbridge. In the case of this thread it is the over investment of a parent in a very young child's future which is my concern. I feel very strongly that children should not have to carry the burden of their parent's expectations.

Children unburdened by parental expectation...

Yeah, we all know a few of those. The prisons are full of them. There. I've said it. Hakluyt you're on MN at least as often as most, trying to get the best for your own children. Why can you not accept that other people are capable of making sensible choices to do the same?

Hakluyt In the case of this thread it is the over investment of a parent in a very young child's future which is my concern. I feel very strongly that children should not have to carry the burden of their parent's expectations. I think you would be hard pushed to find a parent that is so detached from their DC that they do not have a single expectation of that child.

Perhaps your points may be better received if you gave examples of how children were actually damaged / badly reacted to being sent away to boarding school, rather than questioning the OP for choosing to do so.

To be clear, I have no opinions either way on the rights or wrongs of this particular topic as it is not an issue I am facing.

I would also say that the OP is the parent and as such they will be the person to live with their decisions/actions regardless of whether other people approve of them. I don't think anyone has written the definitive manual on how to raise a child the right way.

I think it is also worth noting that in some instances cultural differences have an impact on a parents willingness to do what parents of another culture would not e.g. having a child raised by another member of the family rather than the mother or father - "It takes a village to raise a child".