Private school bursaries - am I missing something?

[SecretPlansAndCleverTricks]

A couple of the families from DDs reception class have older children at a private school 30 mins away on hefty bursaries - they pay very little due to a low income. In conversation with other mums, many of them are confidently planning to send their children privately 'depending on how big a bursary we get'.

These are families who on low incomes, supported mainly by tax credits (usually because one parent chooses to SAH). But they all see private education as very much within their reach, whereas DH and I could only dream of sending the DCs privately - we both work, and are (just) over the TC threshold.

Am I missing something? Is private school something you apply for with the TCs? I don't want to sound like a benefits basher - but it just seems wrong that private ed is easy for the very rich, and the very poor, but not in between?

[Viperidae]

I think it is like everything else in life, we would all like to see real fairness but that is very hard to administer especially when, as someone said upthread, there are large sums of money involved and there are always some people prepared to bend the rules for their own advantage, just as some do with the benefit system. This (or unjust whispers of this) then causes others who struggle to feel resentful.

We have seen this all ways round from children of divorced relatively wealthy families getting school assistance and EMA as they lived with a non-working parent (very generously provided for though) to a uni situation of one family where both parents were low earners but, when mother remarried, all duaghter's extras were withdrawn as new DH was more comfortable yet he refused to pay anything for her as he had already paid for his own DCs

One family we knew went so far as to go into the school and claim that times were so hard for father's business that they needed bursaries for their 3 children but did not think it relevant to mention that they owned outright several rental properties in addition to their own home. After it was refused the mother told others in the playground with the comment that it was worth a try!

[diamondsinthesand]

Reading this seems to suggest that one of the problems is that so many 'professional parents' are now on really low incomes - they are the 'new poor' albeit highly educated.

It takes time for a society to catch up with this and many bursary commissioner are older in age and still associating traditional 'poverty' (ie single parents, ethnic minority kids, empty-looking homes, meek downcast demeanor) as being 'poor' while the articulate and feisty professional parents are simply not seen as being in real need of help.

Schools should get to the truth but I really wonder if many of the current Bursary Committees are really qualified to do that, or are they 'behind the times' with their criteria?
I actually think they need to get up to speed with what life's really like for the children of professional/ low-income working two parent families now compared to a few years ago and in contrast to the traditionally 'poor' families - ie single parents and mothers in head shawls.

So for a bursary visit - your books and paintings may speak against you more than your income speaks for you, even if that's pitifully small and much less than successful applicants. They want to feel they are doing some 'good', bestowing 'gifts on the poor' etc. They are not necessarily batting for the school or your child.
That's my opinion and could be completely wrong, though

[sausagesandwich34]

the biggest problem I have with the bursary system is that they don't understand that in single parent families, the non resident parent might not be willing to share their financial info

I'm having a battle at the moment as dd's dad won't give the info because he thinks I will use it to chase for child support

the reality is it would put dd in a stronger position for a bursary idiot

he doesn't have parental resonibility for her but the school still want the info

[diamondsinthesand]

Thats really difficult for you, Sausages. Have been in that place and it so quickly becomes a power/control issue and nothing to do with the main reason it all began (just getting the best for your DD). You may just have to be really open about it with the school and trust them or, if he has his own company, look it up at Companies House - all info is public. Or maybe the school could actually make direct contact.

[sausagesandwich34]

he's not self employed and is on a pretty low income

I don't know what it is to the penny but have provided the school with an estimate -ball's in their court now