Matekiddleton you are absolutely right about the bullying at Harrow.
20 years ago.
Now, it has incredible pastoral care - in fact, more so than Eton.
Why do I know this? Because our prep school is an Eton/Harrow feeder. The new boys that go off, the Eton boys are still crying about going back to school 2 terms later whereas the Harrow boys have settled within the first week.
This is understandable in a way, because Eton is very collegiate and this (and own rooms) is a very big ask for little 13 year old boys. Whereas at Harrow there are tutors assigned to every house and the shells (new boys) are watched like hawks. Harrow have found that there is very little bullying from older boys to younger boys (this is seen as unmanly), but that the jostling amongst the peers for top dog position is watched very closely and if it looks like they need help the beaks intervene.
This is the feedback from mothers and prep school anyway. Bottom line, they are both great schools and either one makes your DS a very very lucky boy.
Harrow seems very tribal: there is a tremendous network from old Harrovians with influence reaching out to younger men. Who you know and all of that.
I am not too sure about Eton? Eton certainly gets more Oxbridge places. But the calibre of the staff of both school is exceptional, and there seems to be a lot of 'exchange' between the two schools.
What did you choose, in the end?