Is it doable to live in a place that does not have public transport as you reach 60? If I cant drive medically I guess Im buggered! has this happened to anyone?

[Anotheremptynester]

I have found a beautiful house with a massive garden sitting in the country, in Sussex. I would be living 2 miles from a bus stop which is then a 35 min journey to a non main line station. Not all my children drive, and I keep worrying I might regret this. Have always lived near a main station to London. Plenty of non city people must be in the same situation, but has anyone found themselves stuck as they coudnt drive for medical reasons? or felt isolated?

Yes, my parents effectively ended up in this position. When they retired they left the city they'd lived in for nearly 30 years and moved to a Scottish island. They considered what would happen if my Dad was ever unable to drive (Mum never drove) and thought they would be fine because all the basics were within walking distance and there is a bus service of sorts. True enough, but what they hadn't thought about is that when my Dad was unable to drive he was also unable to walk very far, so the bank branch, doctor's surgery, library etc round the corner might as well have been on the moon. My Mum could get there then (she can't now, sadly), but he couldn't. They were fortunately able to get help from kind friends and neighbours and the volunteer driver service, and my Mum was also able to manage the bus until late last year. Taxis are difficult to book and extremely expensive, so not very practical.

Having said that, until very late in Dad's life they managed very well. They'd never have moved somewhere as far from shops etc as you're considering, though.

I couldn't do it.

I live 50 yards from a bus stop that goes directly to the city centre in an hour. 10 minutes walk to the local train station where I can get to 3 cities with inter-city routes within half an hour. Plus I can drive and am minutes away from 3 major motorways, can be in London in 3.5 hours, or at each coast in about 90 minutes each direction.

I'm only 50 and already having to think about getting to hospital appointments for various ailments. Being fiercely independent is one of my downfalls - I can't begin to envisage living so far away from accessible transport, and public transport is only going to decrease in coverage and affordability in the future.

Have a week in the area you're thinking about op. Or try and manage for say a month, relying on walking plus bus then train to the city, as if you need to get to a hospital. Add up how much this could cost over the space of a year, both in time and money. Taxis are expensive.

My in-laws have not long done what you're suggesting. They're mad that nobody fancies visiting out in the sticks, they are already struggling with DRIVING to the city, never mind if anything should happen to FIL who's the only driver.

My mum moved somewhere without public transport and kept failing her driving test. Not being able to drive had an enormous impact on her as she had to rely on others for lifts and she grew very bitter about it, but did not move house.

If you can't drive or your worry about not being able to in future is realistic in your shoes I wouldn't move. The bus service may not stay the same (I live rurally and we have no buses) or you may become unable to walk 2 miles.

Yeah this is why lots of older people move to villages or towns.

you wind up just stuck in the house.
you can get deliveries (mostly) unless very remote but you are alone in a house all day.

Are your non driving children likely to want to learn to drive because if not, they’re unlikely to visit often as it’ll be a pain to visit.

Is there a happy medium? I live in Gloucestershire, not far from Cheltenham and Gloucester and there are a number of towns/ villages that have the big gardens, can be remote (in between the villages) but still on a bus route or at least within 5 miles of a big down so not too expensive in taxis. Must be places similar where you’re looking.

Oh yes, forgot to mention that living so far from my brother and me has also been an issue in recent times because the journey is an absolute pain, especially in the winter. This has a lot to do with the ferry, though, so bit of a niche issue!

I really wouldn’t do it. I live very rurally and couldn’t drive for 6 weeks last year for medical reasons. It was awful and I love living rurally. It felt more like months as I wasn’t sure when I’d be able to drive again. We will be moving as soon as the kids leave home and we can downsize. All our neighbours have moved to our hamlet after retiring. I can certainly understand why but I think they’re all crazy.

Why would you choose a house in the middle of nowhere?! Plenty of people love it but it's not for me.

If you're dead set on it then you need to think about how you'll manage the house and garden as you get older. Will a cleaner and gardener travel to you? Will your children be happy travelling so far to see you regularly? If you needed a support worker or personal care, would that be possible? How will you get your food shopping and how will you get to the doctor and dentist? Are you a sociable person or are you happy pottering around the house on your own? How will you see friends and wider family? What will you do all day? Is there anything at all nearby (community groups) that you can get involved in?

All of the above is fine when you're healthy and can drive. It's when you get older or if you get any health conditions where the problems happen.

MiL is currently the village volunteer driver and seems to do endless runs to the hospital, GP and other services for her neighbours. She bitterly complains about it and simultaneously refuses to consider how she'll cope when shes not longer able to drive.
Personally I'm planning on moving into the local big town with buses, trains and everything convenient to hand.

I wouldn't, only because I'm currently helping my Mum who is 83 and has had to stop driving. She is in an awkward location on a very steep and narrow road with no pavement and basically can't leave her house unless someone collects her. She loves her garden which is why she would never consider moving to a more convenient place before, but she is lonely now and has no independence really.

I'm approaching 60, I moved to this house about 15 years ago when the DC were small and I insisted on being somewhere with good public transport and pavements having grown up in my parent's house. When the DC have moved out I'm probably going to move again as I don't love this house but it will be to somewhere with a short walk to shops, restaurants and hopefully a gp surgery and pharmacy.

I sounds like a mad idea
round here people move into town not out at your age

Absolutely no way would I ever consider it. Taxis and home delivery can help, but even then you have to consider cost and availability.

I'm looking at moving and like you cannot drive now due to a disability, not even an adapted car. Transport to me is an absolute essential to not get isolated.
I'm Google mapping everything. Street views, bus stops, train stations. It's a must.
I've lived in a village before and 1 bus an hour felt dreadful. If that bus stop was a 2 mile walk - no way.

That's a crazy plan OP! Don't do it!

I think the only way you should do this is with research into what support systems are available. Find out if they have a local taxi service and it’s operating hours, do they have a volunteer service, can you get shopping delivered, do the pharmacy or medical centre deliver meds?

Are you likely to emerge yourself in the local community if so you may make friends or have neighbours that can help if needed.

phew thankfully no ferry 😁

My parents moved to their 'forever house' almost four years ago. I helped them when they were house hunting and said to them: "Move wherever you like, but I really want you to think about the following - what happens if you need emergency medical help, what happens if either of you is suddenly unable to drive and what happens if you cannot physically get to the shops easily?"

Their home is six miles from the local hospital, 500 yards from a bus stop that takes them into town in 20-30 minutes and there are two local supermarkets that deliver food to their door. There is also a local Flecsibus service and taxis are available between where they live and the local town.

They are still fairly rural - Deliveroo doesn't exist there and unfortunately their little village shop closed two years ago, so to get an emergency pint of milk they have to go to the local garage which is a five-minute drive.

But it makes me feel so much more comfortable to know that if they couldn't drive or were seriously unwell, then they would be in easy reach of key facilities. They are 79 and 76 (soon to be 80 and 77).

I wouldn’t- I’ll never be able to drive due to my health. It’s rubbish being reliant on other people. I grew up in a village with a minimal bus service and got away to nearest city as soon as I could. Even if there are taxis they may not be available. I have a number of hospital appointments. If you rely on hospital transport then you may have a very long day if collected first.

It is better now with online, but check what the actual broadband and phone signal are like inside, not what it says online.

This would be madness. If you are that remote then taxis will be thin on the ground as well as extortionately expensive.

And have you ever managed a garden that big before?

@Anotheremptynester

Im 60 and don't drive and I wouldn't, but I really don't think its anything to do with age. Its just not practical at any age, even though you can get pretty much everything you need delivered.
What about social activities ?
Unless you have money to spend on taxis

My MIL was in this situation (although she lived in the village for 50 years, didn't move there in later life).
She couldn't drive for medical reasons and had limited mobility.
She just didn't leave the house basically.
Had food delivered.
We visited a couple of times a year.
She spent a fortune on taxis to the GP.
Occasionally had to beg a neighbour to pick medication up from the pharmacy.
Not much of a life imo.

I love the countryside and grew up in it but I’d never move back there when I’m older. It’s impractical and it can also be lonely even if you’re mobile. Towns and cities have everything more accessible. There are far more social opportunities, far more distractions from boredom or loneliness, a lot more public transport, medical facilities, etc etc etc.

Convenience is important as you get older.

its frustrating to not be able to find a house in thats semi rural with fields etc around, without being stuck in no mans land between 2 villages. The nearest village with a shop. doctor etc is 5 miles away and I was hoping to use my elec bike if I cant drive!

But sad if my family wont visit.

What kind of medical issue are you envisioning that will stop you driving but allow you to bike 5 miles?

I'd do it and enjoy it for as long as I can.
There's no knowing what the future holds. You could still be driving at 80 years old., so have 20 years of happiness there.
It doesn't have to be your final move. You can always move somewhere more central if you need to later on.