Is it possible for women to have a purely sexual relationship?

[jools37]

If any of you have read any of my other posts, you will know of the issues I have with my husband and our celibate marriage.

Other posters have mentioned having 'fuck buddies' that they use purely for sex while carrying on their other more meaningful relationship with their partner.

I was wondering how many people successfully handle this kind of purely sexual relationship. It sounds like a great solution, but I am not sure I am any good at keeping sex separate from other feelings in the long run. I have had a couple of meaningless one-night stands in the past, but I have never slept with a man more than once whom I didn't have any other feelings for.

Is it really possible for women to have regular sex with one person without forming any emotional attachment to them at all?

for me.. sex without emotion/feelings is impossible... even with a fuck buddy you care for them to a degree and enjoy their company.

sex without attachment.. yup.. can be done if both parties are clear from the outset, and it takes a certain frame of mind which can easily compartmentalize.

cant be done with someone you've been involved with previously as the old attachment will return guaranteed

Agree 100% with your last sentence DONTtouch.

I have no opinion on the morality or otherwise of them, but I do think the expression "fuck-buddy" is hideous. It sounds adolescent and show-offy. Is there not some alternative?

Yes, I think so but maybe not. I had been alone for quite a while. I had a heart-breaking relationship with someone after I left my husband. I went through emotional agony for about five years after this guy. About 18 months ago, a guy, much much younger than me propositioned me. We had been friends for a while - we met on a course and he was just somebody to make conversation with. One night, he came round, after his ex had ditched him and tried to jump me. I was very upset and shocked and avoided him for a while but started to miss our friendship and was angry with him that he had jeopardised it so I contacted him and pretended nothing had happened. A few times later he hinted again and I ignored it but I thought to myself one day, that my ex had forgotten me and so had his ex, nobody wanted us - why not? The age thing worried me but he said that I was the only one with a problem. Well, he had clearly laid down the invitation so we settled into a sexual relationship that has gone on for a couple of years now and its very good. It took some time to get my head around that. It will never go anywhere as he's only 26 and not very mature. (By the way, I'm fat and think I'm over-the-hill but he thinks I'm great so never fear that one girls!) We have strict rules - i.e. we won't stand in each other's way of finding somebody else and we won't be possessive. What is great with our relationship is that there is no expectations and therefore no dramas. There's a lot of fun. The only problem is that it is so sweet and nice that we'll both have difficulty saying goodbye and are probably holding each other back from meeting other people - it's comfortable and nice. I think we'll always be friends. There's no heart-breaking dramas, sulks and tears on either part except that he can be very immature but he is young so I expect that. I know where I stand with him more than any man I've known. Ironically, I know he values my friendship so much he'll probably not knowingly let me down. However, I miss love, I miss being special to somebody and I crave that badly. Strangely, there is more affection between us than either of us have had before but its not 'in love'. I'm beginning to value friendship-love more than 'in-love' love if that makes sense or have I just got cynical. So, I'm not sure if it is possible or not - I'm still wondering on that one!!! I'm worried about how attached to each we probably are - sex does that. My only advice is that there has to be very very strict boundaries and rules so there is no conflict or confusion or emotional messiness but that's hard for us women, isn't it?

Some men can't have sex without emotional connections: it's not a gender thing. It's partly more difficult for women to enjoy sex for fun for it's own sake because of the immense social and cultural pressure on women to control and restrict their sexuality - women who have lots of sex with multiple partners are usually either criticized for being 'slags' or patronized by fuckwits who keep telling them that they are 'emotionally damaged' and by inference too stupid to know this.
WRT to the OP's specific situation, her H has forfeited the right to expect sexual fidelity. If a person won't have sex with his/her acknowledged partner and won't make any effort to change the situation despite the partner's unhappiness, then the partner has every right to seek sexual pleasure elsewhere. (FFS if you don't want sex with someone, what on earth does it have to do with you who else they are having sex with?)