I just need a handhold tonight. I am extremely upset, but trying to remain grounded. I have extensive experience of the Family Court and I understand the process and what I need to do, but emotionally this is very difficult.
My daughter (aged 7) was due to return to my care this evening at 5.30pm. We operate a one-week-on, one-week-off arrangement, which was determined by the Family Court in summer 2025. Proceedings had been ongoing for over five years, largely arising from domestic abuse and repeated assessments.
During those proceedings, false allegations were made and a professional recommendation was put forward suggesting a transfer of residence to her father. Thankfully, at the final hearing we had a very child-focused and robust judge who rejected that recommendation in its entirety. The court ordered that my daughter resides with me, with equal contact to her father. This is not shared care; it is a structured 7/7 arrangement that runs consistently throughout the year.
Since judgment, the father has continued to make allegations to the police and to social care that I am physically harming our daughter. I have never been contacted by the police in relation to any allegation. I proactively contacted them and offered to attend the station or have officers attend my home, but I was never followed up. The father also made a referral to social care, which prompted a Child and Family Assessment. However, this has not been treated with any urgency by the allocated social worker, who is now on annual leave.
My daughter has told me that her father pressures her to say things. For example, if she tells him she got a bruise at school during PE, he will push her to say it was caused by me. She has had extensive professional involvement throughout these five years, and I have made a conscious and sustained effort to step away from conflict and allow her to experience a normal, happy childhood.
She broke up from school on Thursday. I have not seen or spoken to her since last Friday. She was due to return to me today. Her father confirmed the handover time and location in writing just three days ago. I attended the handover point and waited. After ten minutes, I contacted him and received a message stating that he was exercising his parental responsibility, that he had spoken to the NSPCC, and that he was therefore retaining our daughter. My understanding is that no statutory authority would advise a parent to breach a court order. I have contacted both the Police and Emergency out of hours Social Care this evening, both of which will not do anything to help (which I already knew).
What makes this particularly distressing is that the order was only made four months ago and my daughter has settled well into it. She was due to travel with me tomorrow to see her maternal family for Christmas and to meet her new cousin. I offered the father an opportunity to reconsider and return her by 9am tomorrow, but based on past behaviour I do not believe he will do so. I have therefore submitted an urgent C79 application to enforce the order.
The court also made a barring order preventing repeated applications for two years. I understand that this does not apply to enforcement, but it means the father does not have a straightforward legal route back to court should he wish to vary arrangements.
My daughter is due to return to school on 5 January. That is her scheduled week with me. I do not know what happens if nothing is resolved by then. I am heartbroken. I have not seen her in eight days, and it could be three and a half weeks. I miss her deeply, and the thought of all our Christmas plans being lost is overwhelming.
I know where her father lives, but I made the conscious decision not to attend his property to retrieve her because I did not want to create a scene that my daughter could witness or hear. That choice feels incredibly painful, but I believed it was the right one for her.
It feels very deliberate that this has been done during the school holidays. I am frightened, exhausted, and unsure how I will get through the weekend knowing the court will not review my email until Monday.
Thank you for listening.