How to split the bills?

[Herewegoagain22]

My partner is due to move into my property which I own and the mortgage is in my name. Zero plans to add him to it. We have agreed to split all bills 50:50, incl food, council tax, utilities, broadband etc etc. I will continue pay the full mortgage since the house is mine and any repairs/insurances I will handle too. Does this seem reasonable? It feels messy asking for contributions to the mortgage when it isn’t his and if god forbid anything happens down the line, there is nothing he can come back with. Ideally we will buy together in a few years and if I come to sell my house I’d like all proceeds and anything I make on the house to be mine and then we buy together with everything completely 50;50.

what’s everyone’s thoughts?

For all we know, the guy might have a couple of properties he rents out. He may be sitting on a huge pile of savings. He may have retired early. Should he still pay OP nothing apart from bills?

I lived with the ex-husband for a year before we got married. We split the bills (we earned roughly the same) and I paid 'rent' - half his mortgage, but also less than the rent in my previous house-share.

It felt like we both benefitted and it wouldn't have felt fair if he was paying all the mortgage. I'd have been fine walking away if we split, as I was paying under market rate for rent anyway.

So take a look at what the rents are around you, OP, and charge him some rent. Balance it so that you are both benefitting.

He pays you the sort of rent a lodger would pay, plus half of bills etc.

A friend bought a house at 20 (inheritance) and she'd have a boyfriend since 16 he moved in with her as soon as she bought and paid half the mortgage etc and they've just split and he's engaged solicitors because he wants some equity from the house.

Don't let him pay anything towards the mortgage but the 50/50 should be based off your new bills once he moves in as everything will increase

I have always said this on these threads and get a lot of abuse for it. I've never understood why someone should be able to go from paying rent to not paying rent, so benefiting by hundreds of pounds a month where the person who is home it is just has the wear and tear of an extra person and no financial benefits at all. They don't even have the freedom to have the place to themselves whenever they want.

I think the reason we have so many cocklodgers on here is because of women who say the man doesn't need to pay rent when he moves in.

Absolutely.
I would feel the same the other way round, if I was moving into his property. I certainly wouldn't just expect as a grown adult with a full time job, to only pay half utilities and food. Living arrangements need to be mutually beneficial or resentment will build.
I wouldn't respect a man who was willing to contribute so little either. He should pay an agreed sum of 'rent' plus utilities so that you are both better off by living together.

Deffo some rent too. Wear and tear on your carpets, walls, shower, washing machine, furniture etc. using everything twice as much is costing you.

Why don't you just agree a figure with everything included rather than just 50:50 on bills? Add a couple of hundred min for his rent contribution. I don't know, £600/£700 a month?
I'm assuming he will be paying you anyway, rather than having some of the bills in his name. What's to say down the line he wouldn't claim the bill money was towards your mortgage?

It annoys me when on MN I see 'but you would have been paying your mortgage anyway whether single or not'. He would have to rent / pay his own mortgage if he wasn't living with you!
It soon causes arguments and upset when one party is paying then the other is having a lovely time buying whatever they want with bundles of disposable money.

Yep, I knew a friend in a similar situation, whereby she only charged him half of bills and she paid the mortgage. He did great out of it while she was struggling. She also had to keep "reminding" him continually to transfer his share to her! She ended up really resenting him and he left her in the end anyway, taking with him a nice fat savings account.

I would factor in what you're both earning. If you're a high earner and he isn't, then maybe not charge him full "rent" but if it's the other way round, you'd be a fool not to! If it's about even then you both should be paying out around the same in bills and housing costs. That's the fair thing to do.

I don't know if you've had the conversation yet or planning to, but if you already have, I would have expected him to offer a rent payment. If he hasn't then that's a red flag to me. Why is he happy to sit back and let you carry the full cost of housing? I've lived with 2 men in my life, both moved in with me (not at the same time obvs!). Both offered a very reasonable sum from the off. That's what a decent and committed person does.

He needs to pay rent and half the bills. I agree with others you need a legal agreement.

Whilst admittedly you may benefit from an increase in equity you may also not. He in the meantime just by paying 50% of the bills is benefitting alot.