How to resolve somatic symptoms of stress

[StrongLegs]

Hi,

I wondered if anybody might know how to help the body to resolve the somatic symptoms of stress, once the stress has been resolved, or is at least is being resolved?

I've been having a huge amout of family stress for years. I have been going to see a private clinical psychologist about it for 8 years and in the last year or two have been talking to all my nearest and dearest and adjusting those relationships to make things more comfortable.

Most of them have been really good and are making adjustments and life is much better. One relative who was unable to adapt has removed themselves from my life.

However, I really would like all the somatic/physical symptoms of stress to calm down a bit, so I could go out and enjoy myself, eat better, and generally get back to normal a bit.

I just wondered if any of you might know of ways to help my body get the memo that things are improving now?

Thanks!

Thank you very much for all the great tips. I will have a go.

Yoga is really good.

So is dancing.

Also look at Somatic Experiencing - one of a few new disciplines recognising how stress and trauma is stored in the body. "The Body Keeps the Score" van der Kolk also worth a read/listen.

Hi @Bohoboo,

I just looked through some of the options and I think I've been doing something like yoga nidra almost by accident, and it is the thing that really works for me.

I like to lie on my back with my calves up on the seat of a chair and my arms above my head, flat on the floor. Then I just lie there and do nothing for an hour.

That is the thing that helps me most of all, and if I don't do it, then that really messes me up.

I read about yoga nidra and it seems as though it is really similar. Do you think that is right?

Thanks!

Daily walks and sunshine - even short ones would do you wonders...

There are counsellors ond psychotherapists who specialise in somatic therapy.

This is what I do:

Eating 'clean' - horrible phrase but eat only fresh food, including a wide range of veg, cooked from scratch, no processed food of any kind, avoiding sugar, wheat products and vegetable oil ( use extra virgin olive oil) 16:8 fasting also helps regulate the metabolism and promotes healthy sleep.

Sleep- do whatever you can to promote a good night's rest. Have a good routine that suits your body clock if you can. I've discovered I feel at my best getting up very early and going to bed very early, but have no family responsibilities so this one is easy for me.

Exercise- gym, hill walking, Pilates.

Lots of countryside walking too, especially woodland

Little treats for dopamine hits - I like going to second hand shops and bric a brac places for bargains. Also EBay.

Micro conversations with others when out and about. Gives just the right amount of connection without the extra stress of prolonged social interaction.

Check in with friends by text

Cut yourself huge amounts of slack, Life can be very very hard at times. Eventually the wheel does turn again, I have found.

If all else fails, consider a low dose of medication combined with the above.

There are lots of good suggestions on here. One thing that gets overlooked in trauma/severe chronic stress healing is laughter. It makes sense because a) stress/trauma and b) trying hard, but think about what you feel like when you're laughing uncontrollably. You're relaxed, get more relaxed, and you are not trying! Sometimes I just watch comedy clips or insta comedians I follow to get a bit of a laugh.

And another thing is fun. What do you find fun? What brings pleasure? Make a list of necessary and try and do one (or more) every day. If I "go for a walk for my mental health" it's fine. If I do it because it's just rained and I love the smell of the air after the rain, it's a different experience. Same with smell of cut grass!

Fun and pleasure don't erase whatever's gone on but they do make life so much better and there's no pressure. When everything you do is focused on relieving stress, it's automatically connected to stress and the roots of that stress. When you're looking to have fun or pleasure, it's a different connection to and therefore, experience of the activity.

I'd say only do gentle exercise and walking for a bit, nothing too strenuous until you're feeling better. Look up TRE (trauma release exercises) I have found these helpful, amazing in fact. Some people also find tapping helps.

Exercise
Sound baths
Float tank
Yoga nidra
Yin yoga

They all help me

I’ve heard the tre exercises are helpful, not personally tried them though.

any breath/bodywork isn’t going to hurt.

It's ok, you've been on high alert and in fight and flight mode a long time, it takes time for these deep rooted ingrained mechanisms to catch up.
It's the bodies way of trying to protect you.
Your doing all the right things, tell yourself your safe often, reassure yourself, become your very own support system, you have all the tools necessary.

Thank you very much for all of this. It is great.

Irene Lyons does monthly calls - somatic experiencing. Look it up

I might be completely off topic here as I haven't heard of somatic stress specifically but I wanted to share anyway just in case.

I had some stressful things happen in my life a few years ago. At the time I coped, but immediately after the stressful situations were resolved I got a lot of physical symptoms, mainly ongoing nausea and panic/anxiety, even though I no longer felt stressed.

What finally helped me was any time I got a physical symptom I acknowledged to myself that it was 'just' my anxiety, embraced/accepted it and continued with what I was doing, rather than try to fight the feeling or 'try' to feel better. I read a book by Paul David and one by Claire Weekes, who both recommend this approach (although I didn't seek medical help so no idea if they are legitimate). Other than possibly exercise, no amount of forcing myself to relax with long baths etc. would have 'fixed' me. This change of mindset worked almost instantly (although admittedly my issue was probably mild in comparison to people on here).

Somatic yoga - look up Megan MacCarthy / Martha Peterson on YouTube.

I've only just come to it - I've a tense hip flexor due to stress and trauma - the exercises released it.

Yoga. I cry sometimes at the end of class and they're good tears. It's the relief of the release I think.

I found the thing that helped best with this was grieving. Stopping gaslighting myself about what I “should” be feeling and actually feeling the feelings I was feeling. Acknowledging the feelings that were there, often very unpleasant and frankly socially uncomfortable feelings, then feeling them and releasing them often by crying or as you said breathwork. Pete Walker and the Tao of fully feeling was good. Most therapy only deals with things on a cognitive level and honesty I don’t think that therapy word for trauma but from my own experience healing is done on the emotional level and most importantly on the physical level.

I would caution if you are still in fight or flight a lot that you are still accepting behaviour from others that your subconscious is deeply uncomfortable with. I tried that approach early on but my body would scream in distress and discomfort in the presence of people whose behaviour I had rationalised as acceptable (which one therapist in particular did her best to rationalise as acceptable via very poor CBT) which was not at all acceptable to me. There is no short cuts to healing unfortunately and these people’s behaviour was not stopping towards me, it was still harmful to me and I had to get those people out of my life before I was fully able to heal.

I read and read and read and read until I got to the deepest levels of dealing with my own experiences of growing up with abuse and as a scapegoat in a textbook narcissistic family. It took about 5 years over all but it has changed my life completely and has been well worth the effort.

Hi @Fiddlededeefiddlededoh

Thank you for explaining that. That really feels a lot like my experience.

I've fortuntely managed to shift several particularly difficult conflict situations recently, but I still feel as though I'm on my guard, waiting for the next metaphorical blow to fall. (There are no physical blows I'm glad to say, but words can hurt and silences can hurt more.)

I'm starting to take a pause periodically, just to appreciate that some sources of conflict are actually completely gone. I find it hard to believe in a way.

I suppose the thing to do is to try to get my head around the fact that those changes have occurred.

I know this is an old thread but I have just read through it and found it really helpful.

I'm sure there are plenty of people who are stuck in this fight or flight mode who may appreciate these ideas.

Any more helpful suggestions would be fantastic 😊

How are you getting on now @StrongLegs ? Did you find anything in particular helpful?

I'm actually pretty fantastic. Thanks for asking.

To cut a long story short, last year I blew up my relationship with my MIL who had been driving me scatty for years. After a whole year now I have stood my ground and she is back in contact a bit, but no longer being a massive PITA. My health has been much much better. Interestingly, my DH had a bit of a wobble a few months ago and phoned her, and my constitution dramatically imploded on the spot, so it is very clear that that was what the problem was. DH can't manage to cut contact with her entirely, so I'm now handling her with very long tongs, like a lit, but unexploded, firework.

Unfortunately right after I got better, my DS started having terrible panic attacks and is now out of school and going through an EHCP process, so I'm now teaching him how to tell people to go and boil their heads. It's a long slow process.

I'm glad I learned though, because at least I know what I need to teach him.

Thank you very much for asking. I'm so glad we have MN to educate us in these things.

Oh wow! So it wasn't the yoga or somantic exercises you needed it was just not seeing your MIL.
That's so interesting. I'm glad to hear you're feeling great 😊

Very pleased to read the positive update @StrongLegs .

And I too have just found this fantastic thread. Thank you ☺️

Thank you for this thread. I'm so glad you've made such a positive change and you're feeling better.

How can you tell?