My father is cheating on my mother

[Dragonfly100]

In March I discovered my father was inappropriately messaging another woman he had met through work. I confronted him and although he denied having a typical affair he did admit to it. He then gave us excuses (pretty plausible) and he told my mum what I had found and what had being going on. My mum was obviously upset but understood everybody makes mistakes - she did however say this is the first and last time she would be forgiving anything of this nature.
I’m pretty sure my dad is now on a dodgy affair/cheating site and don’t know what to do. I am hopeful it hasn’t gone further than this website but who knows. I am disabled and rely on my parents for a lot. Do I confront him again or go straight to my mum? I’m sorry to ask for advice here but I don’t know who else to speak to, thanks.

[SoulofanAggron]

There's never/hardly ever a thread on here where a woman finds out her OH is having an affair and stays with him and lets it carry on the affair, perhaps never confronting him.

I'm not saying it mightn't occasionally happen, but it's very rare. Also, cheating men pretend to others that their wives are ok with it, when they're not, they just don't know.

[TheLegendOfZelda]

I know a lot of people in open or don't ask don't tell relationships. Obviously they don't post on mn about it as it isn't really an issue.

[SoulofanAggron]

I have never really heard of that but I have known men who pretend it's the case to make women think their wife is ok with them having other relationships.

If people are in an open relationship they have decided that between them.

[ravenmum]

Whatever the child decides to do, it is not fair to place any blame on them imho. The blame is solely on the parent who put them in that situation. The child should not feel guilty for telling, or guilty for not telling. The only person feeling bad about this should be the cheating parent.

[Anothernick]

The events I was taking about took place in the 1970s - there were no mobile phones or internet and checking up on what people were doing when not at home was very difficult. So proving an affair was almost impossible.

My mother was an intelligent and highly educated woman, my father had left his first wife for her, which scandalised her elderly parents who refused to attend their wedding. I think she could not bring herself to admit that she had married the wrong man and, though the evidence must have been clear to her, she chose not to see it.