Boyfriend drove son home drunk

[brokenlock]

Name changed.
Last night me, boyfriend and kids (including shared child) went to a party. Good night, fun had by all, quite a bit of drink consumed and got lift home. I went to the loo, can hear him outside moaning I was taking too long. Had to get out of a jumpsuit and remove contacts. I hear a countdown from 5 then he busts the door down, breaking the lock in the process.
I stayed calm and told him to F off.
He left my house with his son. I get up this morning and my car has gone.
Not really sure where to go from here really. Haven't made contact with him yet. If we didn't have a child I'd never want to see him again.

He’s stolen your car, damaged your property and put a minor at risk. Definitely police.

Is he ensured on your car? Having insurance on another vehicle dosent automatically give you third party on all cars anymore.

I would report it as if something has happened and you haven't reported it then you could ultimately get into trouble for allowing it or as a accomplice.

I would request the car be returned and keys back as he sounds horrible and smashing the door down is frankly unacceptable specially if children are present.

Phone the police, taking without owners consent is an offence. Tell them you think you know who took it and give them his address. He sounds vile.

Can I just log it though like a PP said

No. Contrary to popular MN advice in most cases 'just logging' isnt an option. As far as the drink driving it's too late to report that now. No matter how much alcohol is in his system just now theres no proof he wasnt sober when he drove. If you report the kicking the door in and taking your car that's 2 crimes you're reporting. The Police arent going to just say 'oh that's great weve noted that' Once you've reported that they need to follow it up.

I HATE seeing the 'log it with 101' advice mentioned so often on here

@Redglitter

Isn't it possible for certain cases to log things such as sexual assault or rape, and ask them not to press charges?...with a view that it might help to protect other women?

It wouldn't apply to drink driving or stealing cars obviously.

Not in the force I'm with no. If a crime is reported then theres a duty of care to follow it up. A rape or sexual assault would never be just logged. It would have to be investigated. Theres also a misconception about pressing charges too. The police can go ahead with a case even if the complained doesnt want to pursue it.

I see so many cases on here of people saying just to log it and I know if that call hit my screen theres no way it wouldnt be followed up

Thanks, Interesting to know. I thought that sexual crimes were a special case. Just out of interest, would they even be a special case for minors?

Yep the recent Caroline Flack story is a good example of how the police can pursue it even if the person who phoned the police doesn't want to...although I suppose they had more evidence there than they would in other cases.

@Redglitter it was me that said log it but I guess I didn’t make it clear. Yes they do have to follow it up, but that’s a good thing. What I meant was the op doesn’t necessarily have to press charges. She can get it logged and then it’s up to the police if they want to act on it

But that's not really logging it. That's reporting it. Itll be followed up but itll involve her being spoken to and giving a statement etc.

I think (& I may be wrong here) most people would think logging something would be more like just passing information to the Police.

For instance we get calls from people complaining about noise from neighbours. They dont want Police involvement they just want it recorded, usually to follow it up with the council. They're reporting it for information. That's what I'd say is logging it, just passing information but not wanting/expecting it to be acted on.

Phoning up about a crime is making a complaint/report and thatll get followed up with statements/crime reports etc

Perhaps though my definition is different because I work for the Police

Do you even know the child is ok? Your minimising this

If this is the end of your relationship (which I very much hope it is) there is nothing to stop him doing this again. But with your child in the car next tine

Car is back and keys through door as requested. No contact took place. Saw his son as they walked away and is physically fine. Emotionally - probably not. I'm going to call women's aid tomorrow. Hoping that he doesn't turn up for bath time as usual.

Do you know his ex / mother of the child ? If be telling them and calling police ! None of this is ok

I do know her but not in a "your ex took my car when drunk" message way.
He hasn't turned up for bath time.
Haven't heard from him at all - hasn't even checked in to see how his child is.

Theres too options for his lack of contact
A) hes vile, abusive and is wallowing in self pity and anger towards you (not that you deserve it)
B) Hes utterly ashamed of his actions and dosent know how to face you, so is being a coward and hiding until you initiate contact and ease his guilt.

Either way it's rather pathetic behaviour from a grown man.

He would be my ex by now.