My partner's family are staring to exclude me. What shall I do?

[TeaCakes05]

Me and my partner are in a long term relationship. I have a good relationship with his family, except his Sister. She is very selfish, rude and takes advantage. Me and my partner have been together for a while now and in it for the long haul. I told my partner how I feel about her (he agrees) and said I don't want her behaviour in our home. I encouraged and put some boundaries into place to stop his Sister from taking advantage of us and treating our home like an extension of her home.
My partner and even their own Mother have spoken to her about her bad attitude and put the boundaries into place (she obviously doesn't like this) Since this happened, I've not been invited to outings or events.
Do you think my exclusion is permanent?
Is this only till everything 'settles down'?
Do you think my relationship with partner's parents has been damaged?
Any advice on dealing with difficult in laws.

Thank you for the advice

“Actually, what I originally asked about, is.
Will being left out of events and outings be a permanent thing?”
How can anyone say? We don’t know what she did, what you did or what the family’s like.
If I were you and it was my family i’d try and talk to my pils- but that might be the worst advice in thee world in your circumstances!

Hmm. None of us can really know here. Perhaps the sister is a terrible person, although if one of her worst crimes is turning up at your house with her dog, to see you, then she may not be that bad.

What we do know is that the OP has said that she doesn't want the sister in her house - therefore, driving a wedge between brother and sister (rather than, say, sitting down and discussing the specific bhaviours that were the issue, and trying to find solutions in a non-confrontational way). And that has extended into the wider family, and now the OPs partner doesn't feel able to attend the events he's been invited to either. The OP's partner is therefore being neatly carved off from the family, while the finger of blame is pointed firmly at the family.

Maybe it is their fault? We don't know. I am perhaps cycnical, because my abusive ex wife used to invent perceived slights from my family as an excuse to start fights and isolate me from them. Although even she went for bigger issues than "she comes round with her dog"....

Perhaps it is all the family. Perhaps it is the OP. We don't know. But I do worry when anybody starts getting isolated from their family by decisions a partner has made for them. And when the whole family appears to believe that the partner may not be in the right, I'd say it's right to be very cautious before validating the partner's decisions on the internet without her even giving real, specific examples of what this sister is supposed to have done.

Will being left out of events and outings be a permanent thing?

How on earth would a bunch of strangers on the internet know the answer, OP? Also, you seem unable to explain what the sister did that earned your censure. You talk vaguely about her being 'rude' and 'talking to people like rubbish and expecting a favour' but what are we talking about here? Not saying please when she asks for a cup of tea in your house is different to screaming foul-mouthed abuse at you and then asking for a £3000 loan. And then you say she showed up at your house without forewarning with her dog is this what she does that is rude?

And what did you actually say or do to her?

What have you been excluded from? And who exactly has excluded you?

You say his parents agree with you. So I wouldn't worry about it.

She's realised you're not a fool.

Why don't you and DP arrange to see just his parents without any other family members? Then the parents won't be put in the position of having to choose between you and their daughter, because the daughter is not involved. If you want to maintain your relationship with them, this might be a way to do it.