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Relationships

I need some advice from a man please...

59 replies

LazyDaisy87 · 06/12/2018 20:52

... or from a woman who understands men!

I'm physically separated from someone I consider to be my soulmate. I think he feels the same way. Will he be missing me or is it a case of out of sight out of mind for guys?

OP posts:

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ElonMask · 07/12/2018 16:12

I means as in love with their dad permanently Goblins

OP I do believe that if he feels strongly for you then he will think about you and would wish he was with you. Most relationships end up in some kind of cohabitation as the partners want to spend time with each other rather than by themselves.

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richdeniro · 07/12/2018 16:21

The way people miss and feel each other is mostly dependent on attachment types I would imagine.

I am a guy but have a Anxious attachment type so feel very strongly and romanticise the way I feel when I am with someone.

My ex was an avoidant attachment and so when we broke up essentially buried her feelings and was able to move onto someone new in a matter of days whereas I was devastated for months and had to go to therapy.

It's definitely not a male/female thing.

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NotTheFordType · 07/12/2018 16:29

^ This.

It's extremely individual.

When I broke up with my last LTR we'd been living together for over 3 years. He left me for OW.

I didn't miss his company at all. I enjoyed being able to please myself in terms of food, TV, etc.

I was fucking fuming at him though! Very very angry.

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ChristmasRaven · 07/12/2018 16:54

It is an interesting topic in general though. My DS is moving out soon (and far away, though I will be able to visit) and we're packing all his stuff before he goes (even though he won't be taking it all initially) so I can nick his room! It's because I plan to knock through a wall and make it bigger. But we joke about me being in there with a hammer the day after he goes! (not far from the truth!). Yet some people keep their child's room the same for years. He jokes about being offended but luckily he knows how much I love him and that it's nothing personal! I guess I will miss him but then we'll also be messaging and skyping sometimes and, along with the visits, I don't think I will be wallowing in misery or anything.

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Brel · 07/12/2018 16:58

It has nothing to do with your gender. I also don't believe in soul mates; a coup de foudre yes, but a soul mate that's a bit much.

Anyway I can't really help you.

I always get into trouble with communication in a relationship; probably since I don't have (very) high communication needs; I do when they are in my presence, not if they are away. E.g.: "I haven't texted you -I hate texting-, and you haven't sent anything all day !", "Do you actually like me?" (that was weird; all because I didn't communicate for a 1 week vacation), or this one was also particularly bizarre; she wanted to go shopping with me for clothes (for me; I prefer going alone but I thought why not) apparently I was subliminally to know that even that she said that she didn't want anything that I should have offered to buy her something small like a sweater.

I do think if he genuinely likes you, that he would make a real effort.

Very helpful you see.

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dragonflyflew · 08/12/2018 03:08

NotTheFordType

always make sure you make shit tea and coffee, and can't type, otherwise bosses will put you where you belong in the pigeonhole

Brilliant off topic post