Interested in others' stories (particularly positive ones) of how they successfully handled sibling inequality.
I am not sure what I want, have been on the "wrong" end of ineqality forever, can't really get the self-possession to want to go NC but spend too much time fuming about it all. My older sister is the golden child of my mother, beautiful, talented, spoiled and massively codependent with my parents. At times I was our father's golden child but it always resulted in him turning on me when I didn't fulfil whatever it was he wanted to live out vicariously.
These days I live in another country, with DH and DS. We are happy. I speak to parents once a week, email a few times a week, and generally do the "grey rock" act where I tell them very little so as to give them nothing to be negative about.
Every now and then I let something slip this week I sent an email saying I was exhausted, it's very cold here, our heating is broken, and we have to do 100,000 pounds' worth of unexpected house repairs. As is typical, no response from parents. Then two days later a "what have you been doing with your week? We've been to golf, had some pictures framed, been to a concert, had ducted aircon installed, been to the beach." They do this every time. They never offer sympathy, empathy or help - basically never have since I was a child. I have always been told I am "independent" and "strong willed" whether or not I actually ever need any help.
If my sister had said something like what I said, my parents would be round her house fixing everything while she & family live at my parents', my mum cooks them big nourishing meals, babysits the kids, etc. Parents don't even blink at paying sister's bills, food expenses, clothes shopping, private school fees, new cars, house deposits, overseas holidays, concert subscriptions. $50,000 wedding? No probs. Thousands of hours of childcare? Sure. Extracurricular music for grandkids at 50 quid a lesson? Totally.
Needless to say we paid for our own (small) wedding, (inexpensive) house, (old secondhand) car and will pay for our own house repairs, DS' schooling, etc. We live within our means, completely. We ask for nothing because we know nothing is on offer.
Obviously it's unfair, but should I do anything? No idea...