I've just had a DD, who is now 4 months. MIL will text me every morning to ask for updates on baby. All texts seem to go this way, "how is she?" "How is the baby?" "Did LO sleep well?" Etc etc. There has never been a message asking me how I am or what I've been up to etc. All our conversations centre around DD. Before she was born, we had a great relationship and got on very well but it all feels a bit strange at the moment as I'm taking it slightly offensively to the fact she doesn't show any interest in me whatsoever. Even when she comes to visit, I will be talking to her about something not baby related and she will interrupt and talk over me to the baby, cooing at him which I find terribly rude. This will happen the whole time she's here. I really want to say something but I think I may be being a bit sensitive about this hence why I am asking for other opinions. TIA!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I have similar issues with my in-laws, I just feel like an incubator for their grandkids. With our first child they'd be talking to me but just staring at my bump I wanted to say helloooo I'm up here not in there! They had zero interest in me all pregnancy with our second, they never even asked how I was, not once in person or via text! The second he'd arrived (4 months ago) they were messaging everyday, wanting to visit, it felt pretty cheeky to be honest and it's why I've kept them at arms length.
When our daughter was a baby my mil would do this weird thing where she didn't actually talk to me. She'd talk to our daughter and I'd answer as our daughter 
. When she got to a few months old I thought to myself she doesn't actually speak to me. I told my mum about this and she said well just stop replying to her as the baby, so I did! So she'd say "and what have you had for breakfast?" SILENCE funny that when you ask a 6 month old 
!
I'd be annoyed if flowers were addressed to the baby too, that's a bit odd!
This was my MIL, it's hard to not feel hurt by it.
I would go to her house and she would just take the baby out of my arms and walk off cooing at her, with not even a hello for me.
Once I bumped into her in town and she stood talking to DD in her pram for a good few minutes before even looking up and acknowledging me. 
It's so fucking rude and hurtful. And was another way of her saying 'just give me the baby and evaporate, you are not wanted or needed here'.
How anyone thinks that behaviour is ok and a DIL should just put her own hurt to the side and get over it, is beyond me.
'I don’t think that’s clannish. It’s understandable, really.'
Their ongoing poor behaviour towards me and dh has meant no contact.
lissette my in-laws are the same about being a blood relative. I had a fallout with my in-laws and they wrote me a letter telling me that my kids were a part of their family and that my kids needed them etc . I'm just a vehicle to provide the kids to them! Needless to say they were told to get lost .
I can see where you are coming from op, it's like you don't exist to the mil now the precious grandchild has arrived. It isn't nice.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.