PLEASE HELP ME! MIL & FIL furious about our choice of godparents.

[SkyeBluebelle]

I’m a practicing Catholic & DH, although baptised Catholic, is not religious. FIL was brought up catholic and hates religion with a passion as does their son (DHs brother).

Anyway, I’m order to be a godparent in the Catholic Church, you must be a catholic who has made their confirmation, the reason for this is because the role of godparent is to take care of the child’s spiritual needs, should we the parents be unable to.

DH’s best, life long friend is a practicing Catholic, as is my best friend. This seemed like the right choice and so we asked them. We explained to PIL our choice and they’ve flown off the handle. FIL has been down to speak to his local priest because he didn’t believe that the godparent has to be confirmed. (The local priest agreed with the priest at my parish). They’re quite obviously raging about the whole thing as “their son should have been picked” and apparently DH’s friend will “never even see that baby”. BIL also thinks he was “good enough to be best man but not good enough to be Godfather”. I mean... what gives anyone the right to be godparent. Surely that’s our choice??

DD isn’t even born yet and already all this conflict and interfering. I’ve always got on with my inlaws but I’ve seen a whole new side to them since falling pregnant. I just can’t deal with this stress

[KERALA1]

Also you and DH have more power than you realise. Use it.

They can shriek and whine as much as you want. And you can not see them and not let your grandchild see them until they treat you properly. It really is that simple.

[magoria]

Do not back down and make BIL even a pretend godparent.

If you don't stand your ground now from the start, they will interfere and run roughshod over you until you are completely distraught.

Say no now, mean it and stick to it.

Otherwise you are going to have years of this.