X used my credit card/fraud - WWYD?

[donners312]

Have posted about S2BXH before but can't find my post.

Quickly, he isn't paying CM, doesn't bother with the children, doesn't see them then sends me abusive messages that don't make sense all the usual basically.

Anyway I have just found out he has used my CC to purchase stuff (albeit for the children) and the bank says it's fraud.

It was online and I have no idea how he got the card details (possible went into my bag several months ago or asked the children for the details over the phone)

I don't want to waste police time but am furious that he thinks he can steal from me?

WWYD?

[shoeaddict83]

Well Karma is a bitch - he found her in a club toilet with his best mate a few months later having some fun!! They still got married and had 2 kids though and are happily ensconced in our old house together according to mutual friends. (incidentally literally 2 streets from me and my DP but never ran into them yet)
Shes welcome to him, looking back it was a toxic relationship and id rather take the 30k debt than have gone through with a marriage to that! Met an amazing guy since and now know what a happy, loving relationship actually is!
We did go to said mutual friends wedding last year, first time id seen him since we split 7 years ago, and she had the cheek to come up to me on the dancefloor and offer me a vodka red bull as a 'peace offering'!!! Just took the drink put in on the nearest table untouched, and carried on dancing, couldnt be bothered to waste my time responding to her!

[shoeaddict83]

Can you not apply for CMA? you dont have to go to court for that do you?

[Bogeyface]

Shoe if he is not in the EU or in a country where there is a reciprocal arrangement then not sure if they could collect any money from him. Worth a try though.

[donners312]

I like your style shoe addict!!! and seriously good on you!!

What is CMA? my solicitor said not much I can do - he is accepting 0% liability for the children as he has no job and is overseas. I said OK i'll accept 0% liability for the children as I am also unemployed so now what do we do with them?

Idiot!! but seriously how can these idiots just walk away from their children like that?

Thanks Bogey - but no there is no way of chasing the money and he has also cleared out bank accounts already.

I was hoping he would pay maintenance but now the twunt has lost his job so I can't even chase him for that.

[shoeaddict83]

Thanks, worked out for best in the end was just a tough year or so after finding out! Think I got the better deal though now!! Was worth £30k to finally break away from him!!
Sorry was referring to CMA as child maintenance but I missed the fact he was abroad-my mistake. What a Tosser, taking no responsibility for his kids??
I would definitely get the money back from the bank for a start though as it sounds like it's money you need if he can't/won't pay anything. If he's refusing to pay now it didn't sound like hell ever accept responsibility anyway so id be inclined to not care that it'll stop him getting a job if you report him-you owe him no loyalty!

[donners312]

Thanks shoe addict I love hearing stories like yours when you come out the other side and everything good!!! You have done amazing to get to that point!!! he sounds another vile and disgusting excuse.

Gives me hope but I can't imagine how i'll ever get from here to there!!

Honestly he really is an utter tosser.

He won't pay anything or do anything never even calls them but I prefer him on the other side of the world than here so don't want to limit his options by forcing him back here (i.e. if he had a fraud thing against him might not get a job and end up back in the UK) I am so desperate that doesn't happen!!!

Now I just need to get on my feet and find a job so I can support the children!!

I do feel lucky though i have amazing children and amazing family and friends - he has none of those things just money but what happiness can that bring with out love (of your children to share it with, I will never get it)

[shoeaddict83]

You sound like s lovely person with her head screwed on OP. You clearly know what's best for your kids and I applaud that. As u say it's better him staying where he is so only you know how best to handle that.
I would say stick with what your solicitor says then!
Focus on yourself you sound like you have a strong support network which is the most important thing, I honestly could not have got to where I am today without my friends and family rallying round, they were amazing! And you will get there-it seems distant but you will I promise!