I recently went out for coffee with an old workmate from a couple of years ago. We've always been friendly and stayed in touch through social media and he's been feeling a bit down recently as his long term girlfriend has left him for someone else. I see him as a friend and that's always been very clear but over the past week or so he's been behaving in a way that has worried me.
We met for a catch up in a coffee shop after not seeing each other for a while, and talked about what we'd been up to, we spoke about work, friends, a bit about his past relationship and he mentioned that he sometimes sees my ex partner (they went to primary school together). He asked me in conversation if I was still single or was I seeing anyone and I said truthfully that I'm dating but I'm not in a relationship. I left thinking nothing more of it, just that it had been a nice catch up with an old work friend.
That evening he began sending texts asking me when we could go out again, he texted me his complete availability, his exact work hours etc and I found that a bit strange so I just said I'd contact him later on as I'm busy for the next week or so.
The next day I got a text asking me if I'd like to go to Paris with him because he'd seen that there was a concert there featuring a musician I liked (I'd mentioned I was a fan of the musician during our meeting and he'd obviously remembered.) I said no but at the time, I thought it was really inappropriate.
What followed were several attempts to meet up - him sending texts saying "I know you're busy but if you have any free time at all you can see me!" Him inviting me to his house for pizza and a film, to the cinema, out for a meal and each time I said no as it felt odd, like he was trying to use me as a replacement for his ex girlfriend. I said that he should focus on getting over the breakup and he guilt tripped me - "it's just been nice having someone to speak to, I'm sorry if you feel pestered..."
This week I've been getting texts at 7am or late at night every other day asking me if I want to meet up for another coffee, commenting on things he's seen posted on my social media etc. He went through one of my accounts and 'liked' every single picture of me (and there are only a handful of pictures of me on there, most of them are of scenery or animals or art/music so he would have to had gone through the whole thing to find them.)
Today I've just been ignoring his texts as I don't feel well and he's making me feel uncomfortable. He kept texting things like '???' when I didn't answer his first 2 messages, then switched to WhatsApp asking me to meet him, to which I replied that I'm busy all week and not to contact me. I thought about blocking him on everything but I would feel quite bad doing that and he lives nearby so I would probably still bump into him.
Sometimes I feel that I'm too nice to people and they take advantage. I'm not going to reply to this person again but it's starting to feel like harrassment. I've never given him any signals to 'lead him on' or whatever, I just viewed him as a friend but I feel like the situation is getting out of control.
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Relationships
Male friend being too clingy
conversationdiva · 13/02/2016 17:48
Jesus Christ I would like to agree that hindsight is 20/20 vision but why the hell were you friends with a bloke who dated a schoolgirl in his 20's ? 
Agree with others. No contact then ring police tomorrow. He´s gonna keep bugging you for a reply. Knew he´d be like an annoying winnet (sp), hanging on for the long-haul like a bloody limpet!
Sure he´ll try and use all the tricks up his sleeve to get you to reply but just don´t fall for his BS.
I´ve no idea wot 101 is cos I live outside the UK but that sounds like a good idea. 
Just read the post about the exgf being at school when they started dating 
That's a red flag if ever I saw one!
Block him on all social media, ignore him in the street and tell everyone you know about him. He sounds like the type who will refer to you as his new girlfriend and will assume your reluctance to communicate is because you're being coy and playing hard to get.
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I'm fine thank you.
I told him in no uncertain terms last night that he has now crossed my personal boundaries and what he's done (coming to my house and finding out my address based on things I said in a friendly catch up) is unsettling and weird.
He said he could see my point and that he'd never turn up at my door. He just wanted to make a nice gesture and he didn't think he'd lose the friendship if it went wrong. He said he'd leave me alone but if I forgive him, I know how to contact him. 
I told him that I still didn't want to talk to him again and blocked his number and social media accounts so I'm hoping that's the last of it.
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