How to dump someone as gently as possible?

[Doughnutsandflapjacks33]

Is it possible to dump someone gently?

So I have been seeing this guy for a month or so, he has always been a bit full on and more interested in me than I am him, he spent the weekend at mine and tbh it was awful ( he thinks it went really well ), I have not been single long, was in a sexless marriage for a long time ( dh and I slept apart ), I am not used to sharing my bed and have got used to my own company. His hygiene is not great, he snores and he's just really full on. After spending the weekend together I realise that I don't want a relationship and that I enjoy being on my own with my dc's, I enjoy lying on the sofa in the evenings without cuddling anyone, I don't want to be pocked and prodded, I don't want to share the remote, I love having my own space, I love doing what I want to do without having to consult anyone else. There is also the problem that he does not have dc's and he wants to be a dad one day, there's not a chance in hell I would have another child and I would not get married again, I can't give him what he wants.
I was so pleased when he went home this morning, I realise that this is not what I want ( a serious relationship ), not with him and probably not with anyone unless I meet someone totally amazing.

How do I let him down gently? I know he is going to be very upset and I don't want to hurt him but I don't want to lead him on either.

[51howdidthathappen]

OP you came on here asking for advice on how to be end this gently. People are never going to agree on what is too nice or too mean.
There is no magic formula.

[Zippingupmyboots]

I think it's absolutely fine to dump by text after only a month. Especially if you have the kind of relationship where you predominantly communicate by text.

As for the weekend, yes you made a mistake by inviting him to stay for so long before you knew him and I think you must have been mad but you won't be doing it again.

I'm the kind of person who gets into a mess like this and it's not to deliberately hurt anyone, in fact it's he opposite, it's to avoid hurting someone's feelings. Although ultimately I agree it's better to be cruel to be kind ie call it a day sooner rather than later.

[Cabrinha]

I had two long weekends away with an OLD in a 6 week period. I dumped him by text after the second. Although I sent a longer email and the offer to chat too - but hell, I'd HATE to meet up on a "date" just to get an in person dumping!
Nothing wrong with a weekend quite quickly... helps you make quick decisions.
Tbf, when we went for first weekend away I did tell him I liked travel and not to read too much into it.
I told him that now we'd spent more time together I could see we had less in common that I thought, and the spark wasn't there, so thanks but no thanks.
We're still in sporadic email contact 6 months on.
Cos he's normal.

OP's bloke? Needy. No way she acted would have been right.

Block, forget about him.
Dumping by text is fine.
Weekends together is fine.

[Doughnutsandflapjacks33]

I don't think I was mean by dumping him by text, we have always communicated through text, never by phone and there was no way I was going to waste time and money driving to tell him to his face.

He was very full on and needy, I guess I agreed to him coming to stay because he pestered me and I felt guilty saying 'no' ( had already said no to him once ), in a way I wanted to spend a couple of days with him to see what he was really like, I am please I did so I could end it and move on.

[PreemptiveSalvageEngineer]

Exactly as I guessed from your description of him being full-on and feeling a bit pressured.

He definitely didn't have respect for your boundaries then, and looks like that's not changing in a hurry, given his post-breakoff text barrage.

[PreemptiveSalvageEngineer]

... and you feeling pressured ....

I hasten to add. Not you pressuring anybody.