Either I'm overreacting or he's a shit parent

[MagersfonteinLugg]

Have just spent the last 30 mins cleaning DS2bedroom after he threw up all over the floor, bed, toys etc.
He's been off it all day so not a complete surprise. What did shock me however was DH's reaction. He was in bed watching TV. Threw the door open and said "do you really have to make so much noise!" Then slammed the door shut.
Surely any reasonably caring parent would have offered to help or at least console their child whilst I cleaned?
Or would all darling husbands react like that?
Am really growing to despise this arse with a passion.

[MagersfonteinLugg]

Because that's how he sees it.
He pays for it and I'm just the unpaid nanny, cook, cleaner, etc.
He does not see the value of SAHMs and thinks unless you produce hard cash then your contribution to the family is nil. Ergo, I pay for it so its mine.
I have been trying to make an honest list of his good attributes but the only one I have so far is that he earns a good wage and so can cover the mortgage. Am stuck for anything else.

[TinyManticore]

You get nothing from this person. I don't think I could live with someone who made it this obvious how little he cared for me or our children. I'm sorry you're going through this OP, but you really need to think about getting out of there.

[Granville72]

I think you know the answer to your own question.

He's a crap father and a crap husband.

Leave, give yourself and your children the future you deserve. Your child already sounds like he's suffering emotionally / mentally at the hands of his father

[Duckdeamon]

LTB asap

[magoria]

My DP who is not even DS's dad would get up and help. It is what a decent person does.

Your son is already 'sensitive' around his dad. This means that the way his father treats him is already causing emotional damage.

You need to protect your DS and end this relationship. From the sounds of it you don't need to worry about him wanting to see DS at all.

[pocketsaviour]

Well given he's your husband, you'll be able to claim the value of approx half the house anyway, no matter who's name is on the deeds. That's the law.

[Hissy]

Was it his decision to give a sick child crisps too?i don't think I'd have risked it.

He absolutely should have cleared up the sick from this morning and dealt with the goldfish.

You do absolutely have to get yourself and the dc out and away from there

[butterfly133]

I'm really shocked by this
what a callous man. Did he do nothing about the poor lad being ill this morning then? Neglect.

you must leave for the sake of your child and yourself.

don't go with him to the new house. This sounds a lot worse than "can't see the value of SAHM".

[Xenadog]

He's not just a shit parent but an abusive bully. You need to put your DC first here and (I've never said this) LTB.

He sounds vile. Surely you and DC deserve better?

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

He's emotionally abusive to you and the kids. Please get some legal advice and leave him.

[MegMurry]

Poor you, OP - he sounds loathsome.

Get out of this marriage. Life is too short.

[saltnpepa]

One day he will hit you, just go to your mums.

[HazleNutt]

what an arse. And you are normalizing his behaviour - why would you be upset that he didn't wake you up? Most people would be upset he didn't clean it up, but you would not even expect that. And your poor DS is scared of him. So he's a mean bully who does not care about his children and has no respect for you.

[AlisonBlunderland]

If the only thing in his favour is that he earns a good wage then Great! He can pay decent child support when you leave him. Or you get him to leave

[silverglitterpisser]

Get out NOW before ur poor DS is too badly damaged. I would be bereft if my DC were scared of their Dad. Not right, please put the little one/s first.

[MilliVanilliTinyWilly]

He's not a shit parent.

Just a shit.

[MagersfonteinLugg]

This day has definitely been my wake up call.
I've been on entitled to and put in all my details but an worried about one major issue.
My LA housing allowance is £117.00 per week. However, the majority of rental properties in my area are around £140.00 per week. As I am currently not working( but am looking for something) can I still apply for these higher priced properties ?

[DoreenLethal]

You will get maintenance from him. Can you look for something further away than your current area?

[Floundering]

You can but will have to top up the shortfall if you choose a slightly higher price one. You should get some tax credits if you can get some work hours to top up, it'll be tight but you will manage, you will be entitled to maintenance from Shitface for your DS.

[MagersfonteinLugg]

I have looked further afield but that makes prices higher. Trust me I don't live in some exclusive desirable area. There's just a real lack of properties. Have looked at 2 bed properties which means 2 DCs will have to share and I will be sleeping on a bed settee in the living room.
I need to be in 2 places though as Ds1 school is in one area and DD and Ds2 in another.
I don't mind sleeping in the lounge but even then prices too high.

[MagersfonteinLugg]

Also, don't a lot of landlords frown upon top up payments?

[MagersfonteinLugg]

Oh and do child maintenance payments get taken into account when assessing benefits?

[Jux]

Do you have to stay in the same area? Could you move a lot further away, where there may be more work opportunities for you? Can the children change schools or are they at difficult points in education?

It sounds like your son is afraid of his dad.

[TendonQueen]

Even crammed in somewhere you'll all be better off away from him. Find somewhere that'll do for now and keep looking.

[minkGrundy]

NO child maintenance is not counted.