Either I'm overreacting or he's a shit parent

[MagersfonteinLugg]

Have just spent the last 30 mins cleaning DS2bedroom after he threw up all over the floor, bed, toys etc.
He's been off it all day so not a complete surprise. What did shock me however was DH's reaction. He was in bed watching TV. Threw the door open and said "do you really have to make so much noise!" Then slammed the door shut.
Surely any reasonably caring parent would have offered to help or at least console their child whilst I cleaned?
Or would all darling husbands react like that?
Am really growing to despise this arse with a passion.

[Jux]

You're married. It's not his house, it belongs to both of you. The one you're in now, and the one you're supposed to be moving to (don't do it).

Go and find a shit hot lawyer, see if there's a way you can get him out of the house while you divorce him.

[fluffyblue]

Sorry excuse my ignorance over dens, obviously popular in derby

[MagersfonteinLugg]

Not sure why there's a gullibility issue over a den, mines also in Derby not US.
Anyway, have been mulling a lot over the past day and realise that hesnot going to change his ingrained selfishness. He seems to have checked out of family life totally and has no idea or interest in his own DCs. For example, he shouted at them all to get up for school this morning.... They all have an INSET day which is clearly written on the "family" calendar on the fridge.
I really do despair.
I am looking into rented properties and making a mental list of what's mine in the house.

[Pinklaydee1302]

I'm a single mum and have emetophobia but when my child is sick, I hold him, I comfort him I make him feel better and I clean him and the mess up when all I want to do is run into the hills but he's my child and I have an instinct that takes over.

Get rid of the sociopathic arse before it's too late

[Phoenix0x0]

Why is everyone so gullible fluffy just asking?

[WorldsBiggestGrotbag]

We had a den at my parents house... In Derby!

[fluffyblue]

Cant believe how gullible everyone is on here

[ApocalypseNowt]

fluffy my il's house has a den. They live in yorkshire.

[downgraded]

Mine did that kind of thing. I left.

[fluffyblue]

But you have a 'den', only Americans have dens

[minkGrundy]

NO child maintenance is not counted.

[TendonQueen]

Even crammed in somewhere you'll all be better off away from him. Find somewhere that'll do for now and keep looking.

[Jux]

Do you have to stay in the same area? Could you move a lot further away, where there may be more work opportunities for you? Can the children change schools or are they at difficult points in education?

It sounds like your son is afraid of his dad.

[MagersfonteinLugg]

Oh and do child maintenance payments get taken into account when assessing benefits?

[MagersfonteinLugg]

Also, don't a lot of landlords frown upon top up payments?

[MagersfonteinLugg]

I have looked further afield but that makes prices higher. Trust me I don't live in some exclusive desirable area. There's just a real lack of properties. Have looked at 2 bed properties which means 2 DCs will have to share and I will be sleeping on a bed settee in the living room.
I need to be in 2 places though as Ds1 school is in one area and DD and Ds2 in another.
I don't mind sleeping in the lounge but even then prices too high.

[Floundering]

You can but will have to top up the shortfall if you choose a slightly higher price one. You should get some tax credits if you can get some work hours to top up, it'll be tight but you will manage, you will be entitled to maintenance from Shitface for your DS.

[DoreenLethal]

You will get maintenance from him. Can you look for something further away than your current area?

[MagersfonteinLugg]

This day has definitely been my wake up call.
I've been on entitled to and put in all my details but an worried about one major issue.
My LA housing allowance is £117.00 per week. However, the majority of rental properties in my area are around £140.00 per week. As I am currently not working( but am looking for something) can I still apply for these higher priced properties ?

[MilliVanilliTinyWilly]

He's not a shit parent.

Just a shit.

[silverglitterpisser]

Get out NOW before ur poor DS is too badly damaged. I would be bereft if my DC were scared of their Dad. Not right, please put the little one/s first.

[AlisonBlunderland]

If the only thing in his favour is that he earns a good wage then Great! He can pay decent child support when you leave him. Or you get him to leave

[HazleNutt]

what an arse. And you are normalizing his behaviour - why would you be upset that he didn't wake you up? Most people would be upset he didn't clean it up, but you would not even expect that. And your poor DS is scared of him. So he's a mean bully who does not care about his children and has no respect for you.

[saltnpepa]

One day he will hit you, just go to your mums.