Friend, flatmate and mixed doubles partner mess!

[LooksAreDeuceiving]

Hello, I was looking for a place to write this all down and get it straight in my head and see who (if anybody) is BU in this case, but think that relationships is probably safer than AIBU!*

So, my main group of friends are from a tennis club. We all see a lot of each other, because between practice sessions, coaching, matches and the odd social there's something almost every night you can go to.

I joined about five years ago, and quickly became good friends with Henry. We never played together, except for fun, but got on very well and he knew everybody at the club, so introduced me to lots of people and basically taught me my way around.

Victoria joined at the same time as me, but I didn't really know her that well at first - we mainly did different nights. After a couple of years we saw more of each other and became quite friendly, and when her flatmate moved out, and I was looking for somewhere to live she suggested I flatshare with her. That's all been going very well, and works very nicely.

Victoria and Henry have never been that good friends, they get on ok but she thinks he's arrogant, and he thinks she can be bossy and difficult. I like them both very much, so don't get involved!

Henry used to play mixed doubles with his girlfriend, but they split up a couple of months ago after she moved to another country last summer and they couldn't make long distance work. He's been quite upset about it, and has been throwing himself into the club. Anyway, he's fed up of not having a partner and asked Victoria to try out with him (he's good so she jumped at the chance to play with him, even though they aren't that good friends). They've had some lessons together and have been practising hard and it seems to be working well.

Anyway, now I come to the bit where it's become a bit of a mess. We had a few people around to our flat at the weekend for dinner and drinks and a film. It got quite late and ended up with just me, Victoria, Henry and another friend, and we decided to watch a second film. I was sharing a sofa with Henry and he put his arm around me while we were watching, so we ended up cuddled up with my head on his chest.

Victoria wasn't happy about this, but said she doesn't want to talk about it. She's now acting completely normally (although we haven't all seen each other at the same time yet...).

I'm not quite sure what I did wrong though - he was the one who put his arm around me, and besides he's still quite cut up about breaking up with his girlfriend. He's quite a tactile person anyway, and if he's a bit tired, has had a few drinks and wants a hug I'm fine with it.

It isn't like he's suddenly going to ask me to play with him instead of her! And if anything, I should be the jealous one, since he was my friend first (childish as that sounds)!

Should I just ignore it and hope it was a result of the wine and that it never gets mentioned again? I know it sounds a bit daft, but I'm such good friends with both of them that I don't want anything bad to happen to either friendship

*Names and some details have been changed so it isn't too identifying.

[Twinklestein]

Not exactly, there was a very obvious troll thread that a lot of posters fell for, now they're feeling foolish and seeing trolls everywhere...

[ApplePaltrow]

Only one solution: burn the flat to the ground.

An overreaction: maybe, but you're the one who created a thread about a man giving you a hug.

[LooksAreDeuceiving]

Oh right, that does make sense.

Well, maybe I was being a tad overdramatic about it (everything always seems worse at one o'clock in the morning) but I'm glad I started the thread. It's really cheered me up thinking about it as some sort of Jilly Cooper-esque bonkbuster (and I didn't even tell you that Henry's flatmate is annoyed because he was thinking of asking Victoria to partner him!).

But there's a thread on AIBU about somebody who asked her friend to give her fiancé a hug, and the way people are going on on that makes it sound like she booked then a room at the local hotel, so hugs obviously can incite strong feelings...

[IonaMumsnet]

Evening all, just popping by to remind folk of our rules on trollhunting. The OP has indeed been here a number of years and we've no reason to think she's not genuine, so please do pop the troll nets back in the shed. Thanks!

[AyMamita]

ApplePaltrow

[LooksAreDeuceiving]

Well, I think you might all be right, surprising though I find it - they were messaging each other all evening, so I'm guessing it's more than just arranging a lesson. Actually, they're still going - I can hear her typing now.

I feel a bit jealous actually, which is stupid and I need to get over - especially if they might end up going out. It's just the fact that he's always been my friend, not hers, and now she's getting him as both a friend and a tennis partner.

[Smellyoulateralligator]

What have I missed tonight? Fill me in someone please.

[KoalatyControl]

Are you sure you don't have feelings for Henry?

If you absolutely didn't, wouldn't you just be pleased that your friends Victoria and Henry seem to be heading towards getting it on?

[LooksAreDeuceiving]

I didn't know anymore! I don't think so, but when I first became friends with him he'd just split up with a girlfriend of 3/4 years so was a bit fed up about that, then he started going out with somebody else about a year later and was with her until a couple of months ago, so he's always been off-limits in that way anyway. He's a bit older than me too.

I just feel very comfortable with him, and liked how our friendship was - and now it seems like it might be changing.

[LooksAreDeuceiving]

I've probably been speaking to him more recently too - since he split up with Felicity (I'll stick with the JC/style names!) I've been 'checking up' on him a bit more in the evenings, just to make sure he was ok. And he's messaged me more too - probably because he didn't have Fliss to talk to.

I was the one who got the whole "we've split up, but I'm fine" followed by the the later "I'm not fine" text, and offered tea and sympathy.

So I probably just need to get used to not speaking to him every night again.

[gamerchick]

Well you're the friend, she's the one he's going to end up bedding (or visa versa) It's pretty obvious that she's into him and it's just a matter of time.

Just detach and let them get on with it incase it gets messy later on.