So I am now 4 weeks down the line of H leaving. 9 weeks since we married. And week 17 of my pregnancy.
I've posted about what he did/has done before so I won't go back over old ground.
Our initial arrangement regarding childcare/access was to keep the status quo for our DS (2yrs 1 month). I work full time. He works part time. He was DS's 'main carer' 
. Basically, he walked out of contact on NYE at 6pm, just before I was due in work for my night shift.
As soon as I woke up that evening he was trying to pick a fight. He walked out when he wasn't getting the reaction he wanted. One of the things he said to try and antagonise me was that he was going to have 'friends' over in my house while I was at work and he was in sole charge of our 2 year old and my 12 year old.
He thought he would stop me working (he sees it that I have all the money while he has none) so I guess he thought he would try and stop me from earning.
Anyway, this has massively backfired. I managed to find an overnight and day time childcare on NYE of all days. I heard nothing from him for 2 days following his walk out. Then it was a text about money. So realising he had run away from the responsibility of his child, I then had Friday 2nd Jan to find a childminder for Monday morning who was willing to accommodate shifts (starting 6.40am some days, and pick up being 10pm or later other days). Along with finding someone to stay in my house for night shifts for the last 3 weeks of January.
I thought (and him too probably!) that this would be impossible. But I've done it. I've got plan A and plan B for childcare. Financially there are no issues even though I'm basically paying for 24/7 childcare for 4 days for 3 weeks. I know I'm very lucky with that.
So that's where I'm up to. Where is he up to? Well, he is 2 roads away at his mothers. Still working PT. Our son has never been with anyone other than me, him, his mum and my mum. He knows this. He knew walking away would result in our son being pushed in to FT childcare, with no settling period etc etc.
The contact he has had since he left was the initial text about money after 2 days. 2 days later he sent me a message asking me if I was ignoring him. Followed quickly by another message saying 'no I guess you're too busy off shagging someone else' (let's not get in to the fact that it was HIM shagging someone else that caused this hideous mess, and that maybe, just maybe I was too busy taking responsibility for his child and his unborn child).. He wanted a reaction. He got nothing.
After that text I realised he wasn't coming back to take his own responsibilities for his child. So I decided that if all he could send was a text, rather than a phone call, or turning up at the door, then I was not going to respond. It's easy to send a text. It's much harder to face what you have done. But you owe it to your child to grow up and face reality.
So it took him til the 4th Jan to ask how his son was. The following day he asked the same. And that's it. Two messages asking how his child is. In 11 days. No contact. No 'I want to see my son'. His mother who looked after DS twice a week (who he is living with) hasn't been in contact either or said she wants to maintain her contact.
So I think I'm facing up to the fact he has run away from his child and unborn child. And that fucking hurts. I thought it hurt on my wedding day when I got her message telling me he had cheated on me. That has NOTHING on the pain of him walking away from his children.
How own dad did it to him. He said he could never do it. But he is, isn't he?
He's sat there 4.5 days a week doing fuck all while his son is 2 roads away with a childminder.
Sadly, I know why he has walked away, he found another woman. He had obviously been online dating, judging by the sudden pattern of texts/picture messages. He started texting her at 1.30am on NYE in the early hours. Convenient how he walked out later that day and hasn't seen or asked to see his child since, hmmm? The texts carried on and on through the night, and the days that followed. I only found this out yesterday after an itemised phone bill arrived at my house...
I have her name. Her phone number was attached to her fb profile. I sent her a brief text telling her what she was getting herself in to. A (recently) married man, with a child and another on the way. And I mentioned his affair and me finding out on my wedding day. I think I owe it to womanhood to at least give the warning what kind of 'man'(!!!!) he is.
So here I am. Where do I go from here? I think I'd rather he had no contact whatsoever as he has shown absolutely no regard for his child or any concern about the pregnancy. I had a bleed 3 weeks ago at 14 weeks. He knew I had a scan fri 2nd Jan because we had decided to find out the gender. He knew where the scan was and when. He didn't come, or contact to ask if he could come, or ask if everything was okay.
I've actually had a serious pregnancy condition diagnosed which is life threatening for me and baby and I've been told not to be on my own ever. And will require several weeks hospital admission later in the pregnancy. There's a high chance I will have a premature baby. And a very high risk of complications to me from bleeding. Potentially a hysterectomy.
It's a grade 4 placenta praevia with the complication of accreta. It's right on my previous c/s scar. Due to the nature of my profession, I fully understand the implications of this and the massive risks it involves.
And here I am. Working full time, raising 2 soon to be 3 children. Facing a very uncertain future and health. While man child is chasing the next bit of skirt and running from the family he claimed he so desperately wanted.
Any words of wisdom? Please!