The Dating Thread 68.

[Bant]

Support for everyone, dating online or in real life.

No judginess, no shoutiness. Nuff said.

[HanselandGretel]

We're all here to share our dating woe's and if we're really lucky to share our dating successes, no one is in charge and I've never felt anyone was trying to be top dog - master does come across as loud, strong, no nonsense and opinionated through the posts, she has been nothing but supportive to others on here as far as I can see, myself included.
I see nothing wrong in bant asking master to stop using the caps and explaining why but saying he's got some sort of back up in the form of private messages is a bit of a cheap shot and really doesn't paint a supportive picture...peeps should say what they think, in a controlled and respectful manner, rather than PM each other to snipe.

[Bant]

My post from last night 23:51- in response to 'NO SHOUTING... WHY???!!! Was

'Because it's a bit rude, master. And people on this thread are often upset and vulnerable and don't want to feel like they're being yelled at or told they're wrong. It's a support thread, not a parade ground.'

Shouting is generally considered rude, and I for one don't feel comfortable talking about my personal experiences in a place where I feel like I'm being shouted at.

That's what I was saying. That's not bullying, or lying, or anything else. It was telling you that typing in all caps all the time is shouty and I asked you not to.

[Poffedoff]

It's nothing to do with the squabble between two posters for God's sake, its the fact that I now know if I step out of line or say something that certain people don't like then I'm quite likely to be humiliated back into place pretty sharpish in a very cynical and cruel way..that's why i'm uncomfortable chatting about dating and other aspects of my life on here anymore, bullies always aim for people's weak spots and I for one am not willing to provide material for them to use against me...

[LiesDamnLiesandSoggybiscuits]

Well said Poff

[TalisaMaegyr]

Wait, Poffed - I've seen Master post some humiliating responses on here to people, haven't you? I saw her say to someone once that they were 'no spring chicken' ffs! Also I have seen people taking the piss out of people's disabilities in the last couple of threads. There has to be a bit of compromise with regards to other people's posting styles, or threads like this will never work.

This isn't about 2 people going up against each other for dominance. It's about a poster asking someone to tone down their 'shouting' and for them to basically be told to fuck off. And then it being blown massively out of proportion. That's the only bit I'm commenting on.

[Poffedoff]

So sad though...I really, really, enjoyed the thread...somebody mentioned before how sometimes we forget this is a public forum, open to millions of people to read and comment on and I remember thinking blimey yeah! It didn't feel like that at all! It felt like popping in for a chat with mates, all rooting for each other and genuinely delighted to hear all the success stories..This happened before in an earlier thread by the way, a few people got banned for...guess what? Bullying....some of them got reinstated but I guess they didn't learn their lesson!

[MasterP0]

Talisa I have ZERO problem in being called out for my shitty behaviour when I've actually done something wrong! When I've not, believe you me I will challenge you! At 23:53 I highlighted to Bant that we all express ourselves differently. Sprung chicken reply in reference what that poster said about her age and that she wasn't getting any younger!

Then to make up shit like " I've had a few people speak to me to say the same" WHICH PEOPLE, BASED ON WHAT FACTS??

Bant needs to show me where I've been rude, or called someone a fool! he's upset that my use of CAPS hurt his eyes, REALLY????!!!!!

I respect EVERYONES opinion, whether I like it or not, what I'm responding to here, is Bant 1. making unfounded accusations and then wanting to dictate what I can or cannot say; 2. Lying that he's received private complaints; 3. upset at my fondness of CAPS; 4. The likes of you trying to bully me! You make it sound like I've just imagined all the stuff you actually wrote Bant (23.51 last night)

Flipper why do we keep meeting like this??? I've NEVER EVER called anyone on here a fool, I actually know what you're referring to, we were chatting about the fools I've dated and referred to someone getting rid of time waster and I responded that he's a fool, so please by all means copy and paste where I've said that and I will sincerely apologise.

Whoever said the use of CAPS = SHOUTING is in the guidelines, kindly paste a link.

DO NOT MAKE UNFOUNDED ACCUSATIONS AND THEN COME AT ME WITH A LYNCH MOB MENTALITY BY BULLYING AND THEN EXPECT ME TO RUN AND HIDE!

[Bant]

But poffed, the people who posted last night were the ones who were being bullied and don't like seeing it happen again..

[49howdidthathappen]

But not a place where anyone might feel like popping into.

[Flipper934]

Poffed, I do hope that you reconsider. I've seen you be very supportive of other posters, and vice versa, and it would be a shame to lose that.

I agree that it was blown out of proportion. I have explained where the misunderstanding of my post arose and Bant has done the same. Master has acknowledged that the caps thing does generally signify shouting, and has promised to try not to. I have apologised for childish behaviour. I don't see which of anyone's opinions about dating have actually been disrespected.

At the end of the day, OD is an horrendous but apparently necessary evil for us single people out there looking to meet someone. It's hard enough dealing with that without losing the support of this thread.

[Poffedoff]

And did these people report the bullying to mumsnrt or just to you bant? Surely hq could deal with it more efficiently than you lot did?

[Bant]

Sorry master, on your advice I just skim past your threads as I find them unpleasant to read. I'm a bit synaesthetic. It's a failing, but also quite nice at times.

[LiesDamnLiesandSoggybiscuits]

Bant
I'm asking you to reread the backend of 67 with an open mind and put yourself in someone else's shoes. I read it with little or no knowledge of the posters involved and I'm not singling anyone out. In my opinion it was nasty and yes, tantamount to bullying.

I have not agreed with some of Flipper's comments today but have to give credit where credit is due for an apology and an acknowledgement that offence could have been caused. Much respect Flipper.

[Flipper934]

No, Master, I've never said you called anyone a fool, however I think that the tone of your posts implies that people would be foolish to do certain things.

Please stop accusing Bant of saying that you called someone a fool, though, he hasn't said this. It makes me feel bad that he's getting the blame for something I said, especially when I didn't say it!

[Poffedoff]

49 I would consider myself pretty sensitive at times and have seen posts on the thread that I smarted at, if I didn't agree with the advice I was getting I just wouldn't take it!! I never saw anyone being bullied here until last night, thats my opinion...
As for being disrespectful to people with disabilities what did I miss??

[Bant]

It's ok flipper, I just ignore her posts. It's much easier than the Kenneth Williams thing

[HanselandGretel]

Unfortunately, the only 'judginess' I've witnessed in the thread has been from bant - it's clear the thread was titled with master in mind and that is a low blow.
Maybe I should'n even say what I think but I can't stand underhandedness and pettyness....the thread was ticking along nicely before, now it feels like a not so nice lace at all to share anything.

[MasterP0]

Flipper you see, now therein lies the problem! you are making an ASSUMPTION, instead of asking me to clarify, that is NOT my fault. If I'm texting with someone and I interpret what they've said I directly ask them to clarify. Everyone interprets messages differently, but I see your point. Agreed Lies much respect Flipper!

Yes I'll stop accusing him about the fool comment, I meant to delete it in my last message.

[TalisaMaegyr]

Poffed I'm on my phone, so can't be arsed to scroll back to the last thread.... But wasn't there reference to someone showing up for a date that had one foot? And someone else with a 'wonky eye' or something like that? And piss was taken.

Now - I have quite an un-pc & irreverent sense of humour, but there is a line on a public forum - you never quite know who you're going to offend. As this thread proves!

[Bant]

Ok. Point taken. Someone else start a thread 68, and I'll try and get this one deleted.

Master, it was so nice when you said you wouldn't be shouty, why can't you just turn off caps on your phone? I'm on one, it's easy. See?

[MasterP0]

Hansel and that is why I took the bait, and confronted Bant directly, because it was TRANSPARENT and JUVENILE once again!

[MasterP0]

Bant it's just quicker and easier to use caps as the use of the emphasis thingamajig takes some practice! Maybe it's easier for those on laptops, but on iPad and iPhone it isn't!

[TalisaMaegyr]

Good call Bant

[MasterP0]

Talisa how in heavens name is that being unPC when one is relating to what actually happened? I'm the one who had the guy turn up with a missing foot and chaperone. I've got nothing but respect for people with disabilities, he should've just said before our date because I'm human, it was a shock! For goddess sake

[Bant]

I think I'm going to drop off for a while anyway. The thread has been hugely supportive and I like to think I was helpful in small ways, but it is a bit addictive as I'm sure you've noticed, tempers can flare (over capitalisation and suchlike) and one can find themselves actually upset over the comments of people you've never met.

And I was so looking forward to starting thread 69..