Advice needed, someones got a crush on ME

[Usingtheplot]

This is probably going to sound really silly, but I'm hoping that someone,somewhere can help me deal with this very awkward situation I find myself in.
I'm a 43 year old single mom and work part time doing an incredibly boring job. That said, my colleagues are great and that makes things a little less tedious.I'm a very chatty and fairly confident person and find it easy to initiate conversation with even the most reserved people.
I have not been in a relationship for many years. This has not bothered me the slightest bit. I've not even had a serious romantic interest in a man.Friend s gave up trying to "pair me off" a long time ago and accept that I'm happy being single.
OK, I'll cut to the chase. One of the men at work, a senior member of staff,is someone I greatly admire. I often used to have a natter with him and I enjoyed his company. He's very popular,what you'd call a thoroughly nice man.We have a bit in common,but I wouldn't go so far as to say we were friends.We just shared a few light hearted chats ,nothing more. I didn't find him attractive,although I suppose he is quite good looking.
Recently though I've begun to dread meeting him at work,not because I don't want to see him or anything, but because he's acting like a love sick teenager when I'm around.
I don't know when it all started,it really took me by surprise.One day we were having our usual chat/banter and the next day he couldn't look me in the eye and was blushing furiously. It didn't help that I started blushing with embarrasment too.
I carried on my duties and decided this was a one off. When I passed his office I said hello etc and he blushed even more. I couldn't break the ice.This has continued for the past couple of weeks.He used to always say goodnight when he was leaving, but this has stopped. He avoids passing me in the corridor and when he does speak to me, he trips over his words and stammers.
I have to admit that I'm flattered by the fact he likes me, and I'm begining to think that I may like him too.
I really don't know why he's developed this crush on me. I've not said anything that would lead him on. I'm jovial but not outright flirty .
I just want to break this spell.

[Fillyjonk75]

Catalyst for DH and I getting together was me leaving the workplace we shared for another job. Just saying.

[cjel]

Well OP?

[Usingtheplot]

No heaving bosoms etc.
Today got to work early. Went to my usual workspace. Unexpecantly " crush" was there giving a "lecture" to his underlings. I entered the room and he just stopped talking and looked at me. I scurried off to do my menial admin stuff.you could have cut the atmosphere with a knife. He stammered something along the lines of " Well done everyone we'll meet up later to discuss this project".
Afterwards I heard a coulple of people say " theres something going on with them"
I tried to be aloof as possible. There was a lot of giggling.I'm a bloody wreck,

[Xiaoxiong]

Jaysus, OP. Your first post was 2 Feb. It's now 6 March, and you're leaving the company.

Get a grip, get some dutch courage if you need it, and just ask him out for a drink!!

At this point, what do you have to lose? Your dithering has already caused an "atmosphere" and if someone really said "there's something going on" then you don't even need to worry about causing gossip since it's being caused for you without you even having the fun they think you're having.

What are you - a woman or a mouse?!

[cerealqueen]

I can see the OP in a few years, wondering what would have happened if she had simply asked this man for a drink? You will always wonder and always regret if you don't pluck up some courage and ask him! Please, for all our sakes....

[OliviaMumsnet]

Evening all
Just a reminder that we very much frown on Troll hunting. Please don't do it.. Thanks

[Usingtheplot]

I'm realising now why I've got myslf into such a stae about this whole business.
Looking back I'm aware that I probably said and did things to brighten up his day.I paid him compliments, cracked jokes,was very forthright in my approach. His job is very stressful and my presence may have offered a bit of light relief.
He always kept his office door open, played music, worked very late and made a point of seeing me.
He has changed so much. No music,office door closed,leaves work early.
I reckon that realising he had a crush on me( perhaps it has been for a long time) made me question whether I had emotional needs that were not being met. The need for physical comfort, support,someone to share responsibilites at home and suchlike.
I'm starting a temporary job soon,all female environment and I can't wait.
I've made some good friends where I work and we are going to keep in touch.I knew from the start I wasn't going to stick at this job,I even told them at the interview that it wasn't what I wanted to do long term, but they said opportunities could arise whithin the establishment and I would be informed of any internal post that would be more suitable.
The letter is pending;I'm going to draw on some of the comments/suggestions made in this thread.I'll keep you all posted.

[BitOutOfPractice]

I've read the whole blummin thread and still nothing's happened!

When I saw 200+ messages, I'd started picking out bridesmaids dresses!!

Come on OP, grow a pair and talk to him.You're in your 40s. You say ypu're confident. Just get on with it FFS!

[TooYappy]

So is he too important to be having crushes? (or the type to think he is?) Hmmm Maybe is a Mumsnetter/Dadsnetter.

Hope it ends well, hope next job with all the females is okay. Try pass him a note before you leave the worst that can happen is he will ignore it.

[Usingtheplot]

I'm going to grow some balls. I mean it Bitout,the biggest pair imaginable, I sure do need some.
Got something else to worry about today,but that's another story( don't worry, I'm not going to bore you to death with that one).
He is not to "important" to be having crushes. He's a very humble and gentle man.

[TooYappy]

No I just wondered if he was the Big Boss or something and perhaps he shouldn't be having a crush on staff or something. Poor guy, just ask him out. You have made him sad, no music, no door open....

So tomorrow? please

[Usingtheplot]

He's not the Big Boss,thank god! The Big 'un is possibly one of the ugliest( and nicest) men I've ever known.

[BitOutOfPractice]

That's thespirit using, just get on with it because I'm a nosy cow I think it sounds romantic

[Usingtheplot]

Lol nosy cow.I'm glad you think it's romantic,because it is!
Got more pressing worries right now so that'll take the edge off things for a while.

[TooYappy]

'a while'??

I may start temping, it sounds like fun. Actually I think I would have lost a lot of weight by now, do you not find it all a bit stressful? I detest all the mixed signals, not knowing.

I would like need to meet a guy and him to hand me a card or something with his intentions for the next month day by day, how many texts/dates etc.

[BitOutOfPractice]

Noooooooo yappy. All that uncertain stage is thebest bit!

[Pendipidy]

Oh man, for a minute there i thought something had actually happened!

[TooYappy]

Oh no it's horrid and at this age you cannot even just get a friend to go do all the asking and probing of mutual friends. I think I may be destined to stay single.

[Dryjuice25]

Conclusion: And they finally got engaged and married exactly 15 years after they first met.

or

She finally accepted that it was all in her head. The end.

Seriously, I hope when I get to your age, I'd have substantial courage to not waste time in this manner and resolve doubts more effectively and afficiently. Just ask him out subtly. I was like this @17 ffs

[Usingtheplot]

I took the bull by the horns today. I could becaue I've had some news regarding my health wiich was not goood. I didn't have an ounce of apprehesion.
I calmly walked up to him to ask if we could have caht. Guess wht?? He just blanled me. This happened several times. I persevered and got the same response. He made a great show of saying goodnight to my colleague.
I'm going to leave it at that. What's the bloody point??
I'm not under any illusion that he's going to fall head over bloody heels with me.I'm just not into playing games.
I "womened" up to him and he "chickened out".Nuff said.
I really don't get men or perhaps he's thinking " I really don't get this woman"

[claudedebussy]

eh? how could he blank you if you walked right up to him???

how rude!

did he pretend he hadn't heard you?

[Usingtheplot]

He just blanked me,5 or 6 times. I dunno what's going on in his head.