DH is a fantastic husband and my best friend. We have been together 8 years, married for nearly 6 and have 3 DCs.
He is my other half. We complement each other - I get lost in shops and he can drive all the way from SE England to The Lizard in Cornwall for the first time with out looking at a map , we share a similar (but not identical) sense of humour, we like mostly the same genres of film/tv but will always compromise so that one doesn't go with out, we respect each others boundaries (he has a phobia about joints/bones and I have some other 'issues') and don't breech them, we can talk into the night or sit companionably in silence, he understands my needs and does what he can to accommodate them as I do with his.
On the other hand I love romance novels and he reads Tom Holt and Larry Niven. He flight sims, reads geek websites and understands who 4chan are/is/was (?). I read mumsnet & cakewrecks, he hates shopping (especially sales/Xmas shopping) and I love buying gifts for people and rummaging in sale bins. He is logical but will cry at the drop of the hat when something emotionally touches him, whereas I am emotional but rarely cry at something on TV.
My causes and interests matter to him (may be not the actual 'things' themselves but the fact I care about them is what is important to him). He listens to me banging on about Mumsnet stuff and I listen to his flight sim/geek/maths stuff
We have rarely argued (c. 2-3 times in our 8 years) but have some discussions with passionately held beliefs on both sides without it descending into a slanging match. He has never called me a name or sworn at me (around me sure but has never asked me where I put the fucking phone or similar). He has never raised his hand to me or tried to coerce me in to sex or a sexual act.
He is my helpmate and supporter, my guide and sounding board, my lover and my friend. I truly hope he feels the same about me. We have a good marriage but we work at being in a good marriage all the time. It only takes small acts to keep a marriage strong, kind words and thoughtful deeds are probably the easiest way to keeping things ticking over.
The most important thing in being a good husband or a good wife is love, real genuine love, for your spouse and a desire to make the best marriage and family you can.
You cannot be a good spouse if your spouse is sucking the life out of your marriage through anger, inconsiderate behaviour or infidelity. You need help and support from each other to be a good spouse.