Noise and smells in en-suite bathrooms ? (not for those eating)

[GrendelsMum]

I've never been very keen on en-suite bathrooms, but for various reasons in our house, it looks like we can have an en-suite 2nd bathroom or not a 2nd bathroom at all.

There are various reasons I don't like them

1. You are lying in bed relaxing, when you hear DH doing a great big shit. Or making constipated noises. Then he bounds out of the bathroom in the mood for sex. Sorry, but pooing noises do not turn me on.

2. As DH bounds out of the en-suite towards the bed, a great waft of farty smell comes with him, making the whole atmosphere even less alluring.

3. DH is frequently working odd hours, meaning that either he or I can be getting up at a time when the other is still having well deserved sleep. Showering next door is likely to disturb this.

4. What kind of bloody stupid word is en-suite, anyway?

Can people give me some practical advice on how to ensure that an en-suite bathroom is built solidly enough to prevent noise and smells coming through? (Or you can just tell me it's not possible, and we won't have a loo in there.)

A book I have suggests having a dressing room between the bedroom and bathroom, but that's not going to be possible. Another suggestion is to have cupboards up against the walls of the bathroom, which sorts out the shower noise coming through the wall, but not noise and smells coming through the door.

If you have a farty DH and an excellent extractor fan, please do tell me the make. If you'd like to swap your non-farty DH for mine, please send photos.

Absolutely hilarious!!!!! Loving this thread!

We also have a 'no solids' rule in our en-suite but BE WARNED, in the event of an emergency this rule will be ignored as I discovered to my horror a week ago when dh came down with a stomach bug.

Laying in bed listening to the most horrendous 'bottom' noises at 3am in the morning has almost been enough for me to get the bloody thing bricked up.

DH still insists that technically he still hasn't broken the 'no solids' rule though. [Gag emoticon]

Hmm, I'm still not quite getting it.
If you don't allow solids in the en suite (Ong swee, as my mother would have said), isn't it then obvious if you go to the other bathroom.
I mean you might as well announce that you need a shit.

I really need that T-Shirt.

Shit is not for sharing.

extractor fan dear.

Can you extract out the shit and you knowing that they have gone for a shit?

It's just such a turn off.

I like to have fun with the back door, I don't want to know about a log coming from it earlier that day.

We possibly have the world's smallest en suite and a no poo at night rule as it's just too near the bed and that would be disgusting. The rest of the time we open a window and shut the door.

My MIL doesn't have an en suite but has two bathrooms in her bungalow, one which is nearish the living room/bedrooms and one which is off the kitchen in an unheated extension. Only girls are allowed to use the bathroom in the house proper(because we smell of roses doncha know) and boys are banished to the icy depths of the out-rigger (because boys stink). The two bathrooms are actually called the girls' loo and the boys' loo. And I've heard her telling my FIL off quite severely for using the girls' loo - poor thing!

We have just moved into a house that has not one but two Saniflow loos. One is downstairs and I am now the proud owner of an inherited "No feminine products to be flushed down the toilet" notice in a fetching frame that has to be displayed on the cistern. Lovely.

The other is in our en-suite and the pump inside it also handles the shower and sink to pump it all to the side of the house. Whilst it is noisy in action, it doesn't randomly macerate in the night which is what was worrying me.

Having said that, DH is under instruction to use the main bathroom at all times unless the baby is asleep in which case he may use mine ours.

This thread has had me thinking about one of our couple friends who have separate 'his n hers' ensuites. Obviously not feasible for everyone but I always thought it strange but now I know why. There is definiley a 'his n hers' feel to ensuite use on this tread.

Must admit in our old house ensuite was defnitley DWs domain during the day. She used it exclsively as hers and went there to think sometimes. I only went to clean my teeth and emergency at night. However, having just moved house the downstairs loo is in the utility room which I think is inappropriate next to 'meadow fresh laundry' but our bedroom and ensuite is just at the top of the stairs so have been using it all the time and every time. The DSs have their own ensuite and the utility room loo is next to teh playroom for emergencies. The main house bathroom gets no use at all.

I now feel guilty after reading this thread and wil revert to using the main house bathroom which has a big 8 foot high loo cistern tank, brass pipes and taps, wrought iron and glass floor and black and white greek key tiles. It is a like a Victoriam engine shed. Quite manly I think and it shall be mine alone.

muggle just chocked on my tea

As I mentioned before, we got rid of our en-suite to create a new bedroom for the baby. Although we did get a shower put into the downstairs loo.

I can sincerely say that I do not miss the en-suite at all.

If I was having a new house built, as long as I could have a built-in shower cubicle somewhere, ie not a shower over a bath with one of those scabby molesting shower curtains, I would lose the en-suite totally.

I'd use the space for the biggest most massive storage cupboard ever to house all the shite that makes our house such an obstacle course to live in: christmas presents, an "organised mum" present and card box [fantasy], DH's beer, bottles and bottles of water in case of the apocalypse, zombie attacks or the water main up the road blowing yet again (whichever comes sooner), all the shoe boxes waiting for that vital craft moment, winter duvets, etc. That would make me much happier than an en-suite.

I agree abot the shower cubicle thing - even a shower bath with a glasspanel might turn into a mould fest for us.

Like most posters on here I was rather anti the en-suite concept - I think I've had too many bad experiences in hotels where the e-s has been squeezed into the corner of an existing room, poor sound insulation, and poor ventilation.

In the early days of one relationship, I even recall getting up in the night, getting dressed and going downstairs to the public loos to avoid the embarrassment factor.

However we moved into a house that already had an e-s and I have changed my mind quite a bit. We both use it for teeth cleaning, shaving (him more than me!), showering etc. The rest is courtesy. If either of us are off to do something serious then we would normally use the small loo along the corridor(which has an incredibly noisy fan).

But I have also become more relaxed about it all anyway. We love each other, we have seen each other in more embarrassing and distressing situations (food poisoning on a camping holiday??), and it's just a fact of life really that men and women eat and shit.

Funny really, there are threads on here about b**sex and some of the intimate consequences but people get all delicate about having a dump in an adjacent room 10 feet away.

And all the dog owners who think nothing of wandering along behind their pooch scooping up warm dog crap in a little bag, now that truly is something I wouldn't want to do.

I've only read OP - and I feel exactly the same. Our new house has an en-suite and I'm not looking forard to that at all, especially since DH is Mr Constipation.

dollyparting thats exactly what is said on the first page

were so accepting of each other we dont care and its lovely....

On a more sensible note, does anyone know about the logistics of actually fitting loos? Presumably the waste pipe has to run parallel to the joists under the floorboards towards the main soil pipe. Is there a certain minimum / standard width for the waste pipe? I'm trying to work out why we have a Saniflo in the other bathroom rather than a standard loo?

My understanding of the whole Saniflo thing is about gravity. Our en-suite is in the middle of the house so the waste has to go across the house horizontally to reach the main soil pipe in the main bathroom. Without the pumping action of the Saniflo it would just pool nicely in the pipes and sit there, festering under the landing. Mmmm...

Our other loo is below ground level in what was once the coal-hole therefore the Saniflo is needed to pump the waste upwards (rather than across) to hit the main soil pipe.

So I think it's more to do with where the loo is rather than thicknesses of pipe - but - hey - I have no plumbing qualifications and may be talking out of my backside. Which may not be entirely inappropriate for this thread.

That makes sense.

And, more importantly, I am deeply honoured to have Her Grace the Duchess of Avon replying to my thread.

Bless you. Life in the Parisian slums does give one a certain insight into sanitary provision.

Saniflo loos work with a narrow standard pipe that one would normally see fitted to say a bath without requiring the fitting of a wide soil pipe. They are often used in the centre of houses or under stairs where retro-fitting a standard soil pipe would be very difficult.

Make it as big as possible - window as big as possible too and do as I do try to encourage DH to use downstairs family bathroom when he leaves in AM long before I get up-must admit though our ensuite has a bath and shower so i have really made it a girly haven lots of candles and products etc

Duchess - Now I'm laughing at the thought of the vast Avon mansion with a Saniflow in the coal hole.

I'll refrain from asking after your son

I've just remembered a horrible B&B DH and I stayed in once - it had an en-suite made out of the corner of the bedroom, and it was carpeted, but worst of all, it had.............saloon doors!!

So not only could I smell and hear everything, I could see DH's trousers and pants round his ankles as he sat on the loo.

Ah bah!

He's off gallivanting in France - forced into exile after a row with his father caused by a shady lady of his accquaintance flushing something unmentionable into the Saniflo. The resulting bill has gravely upset his sire.

I shall set off in the morning to retrieve him in nothing more than the clothes I stand up in - Enfin!

MrsMuddle, that's hilarious.
You have just reminded me of a B&B in Ireland where the ensuite was tiny and had a sliding door, but the door was right infront of the the toilet and if you were actually sitting on the toilet it wouldn't close.