Another 'Shall we leave London?' dilemma...

[PhoebeLaura]

DH and I have lived in London for 10 years and have been talking about leaving pretty much since we arrived. Our dream was always to move to the countryside, ideally around Oxford or Bristol, where we would have space to bring up children. Now we have a DS and because of the nature of DHs work it is really now or never if we are going to go (otherwise he will be too specialised and senior and we will really have to stay).

So, what I would like to know is are we naive to think that life in the countryside will be nicer, more relaxing, easier and provide a better quality of life for us? Has anyone left London and regretted it? More specifically, have you found that commutes are shorter or is it just a case of spending the time sitting in traffic instead of on the tube? Are working hours really shorter or is that just a myth that us Londoners like to believe.

I know you can't really answer without knowing our exact situation but I'd love to hear any experiences or thoughts. My brain is spinning and I just can't work out what I feel about leaving now we are facing it as a real possibility.

Sorry. Wrong word. I meant city-like. If you like things like shops and theatres and cinemas and art galleries close by then I think very rural life wouldn't deliver.

I moved to a small Oxfordshire village when I was pregnant with DD (she is only 7 months now) after living in London for years. I am cheating though, as I still have a little flat in London where I escape to probably once a week or at least once a fortnight.

Commute is about an hour and a quarter into Paddington, so manageable. That's on the First Great Western Line though, from West Oxfordshire. There is also a line running from Bicester into Marylebone, which is faster and more efficient if anything - takes about an hour.

I adored London and didn't really want to leave - hence one foot still there - but now I have DD I do see it would be harder if I was in London all the time. The tube isn't puchchair friendly so it's cabs, buses or walking!

The air is lovely here. There are groups and things if you want them even in small villages. There is an element of cliqueyness and I think you have to be a bit thick skinned at first to get over it, you WILL eventually get over that.

However, the centre of Oxford is congested and short of decent places to eat so if you are keen on doing that sort of thing you are probably better going to Bristol! There are tons of lovely villages in Oxfordshire though - that's basically what Oxfordshire is!

It's hard to know whether country life would suit you without knowing what sort of person you are. It can be quite isolating but it doesn't bother me as I am pretty self contained.

I think it depends a lot on your work. I could go freelance with my job and work from home - so I do have days where I feel like the luckiest person alive.

We are in NE. Dh has half an hour commute each way 3 days a week and an hour each way twice a week (works in two places). He sees this as a trek as he was brought up here. I'm used to London where it would take me 1 good hour and a half to get to work in the morning with tubes and trains - so I think an hour is fine..

5 minute drive down quiet country lanes to drop DD's at a small, lovely rural nursery with a massive outdoor space and playground. Mid-morning I have my coffee break walking down a country footpath and looking at beautiful views.

Our local pubs are friendly and you can always get a table. 45 mins to seaside without bad traffic. Local school is full of a mix of local kids, but all very pleasant and well brought up - no probs with gun crime in our village!

Disadv - it is cliquey. A lot of people in our village grew up here and even though they are friendly I am still their accquaintance rather than a friend - partly because I'm not good at gossiping.

My close friends here are those who diddn't grow up here either. Property is expensive too as we are in an area of ourstanding natural beauty - you pay through the nose for those views!

There are a lot of times I do miss London though. My in-laws are here and are great but all our siblings are overseas. I miss massively that support network of friends and family I grew up with. I miss having a sense of history and connection with the area I live - I feel like my past never existed sometimes..we have lost touch with old friends simply because we are a long long way from London and we all have kids and busy lives now. Especially now that old friends are having kids, I mourn the fact that my kids don't really know theirs and that I'm having to start again friendship wise, at a stage where with 3 under 5 year olds I'm just so tired and not really me when I'm chatting to new people!

Ho hum. Overall for the kids sake I'm delighted we moved. They breathe fresh air, they're going to alovely school, they are growing up innocent and carefree (at the moment). For me, I'd like to sometimes put life on hold up here and be able to shoot down to London every weekend and see all my old friends and feel the buzz of a big city in a way only London can have..

Will write more later BUT rent first, don't buy. You can always change your mind then. We moved to a vilalge and regret it, its too much of a change and to be honest, a bit boring.

I personally don't like Bristol - i think its got a real rough side and is too sprawling. Clifton is gorgeous but London prices. How about Bath? If not would agree oxford or Cambridge, and then you could move to a village nearby later once you know the city and area.

SUCH a difficult decision - always a compromise....

Bristol dwellers - do you think it's rough? It doesn't seem it to me, but what do insiders think?

I live just outside.
Clifton gorgeous if you can afford, redland/cotham ok

but the rest of it grim - you feel like you might be mugged in broadmead

Only my opinion - don't mean to offend. I know many like it, and think its funky.

I think london is much nicer!!

Am also being driven crazy with where shall we live thoughts, bathtime....

I live in a really unfashionable, cheap part of Bristol (3 bed semis with gardens about £150k) and I love it. It's unpretentious, the people are really friendly, there is a lovely park and shops within walking distance, and it's 15 minutes into town on the bus.

I appreciate it's not for everyone, but it is certainly a realistic and affordable choice for some.

I know I could never afford Oxford/Cambridge/Brighton (lovely as they are), so for me it's a good compromise. Being near the South-West and Wales is a huge plus for me too.