Are we being hopelessly naive re: new baby in our flat?

[Cies]

I've just got off the phone to my mother and she wanted to point out a few "issues" with our rented flat which she thinks will make life unnecessarily difficult with a new baby (due November). This is our first baby, so don't really know what to expect, but I have been hanging around MN for a year or so and have got a vague idea.

So, here goes.

1. The entrance has one step outside, then 4 steps, couple of metres flat, 4 steps before you get to the lift. My plan is to use a sling for popping out to the shops etc and only get the buggy out for longer trips.

2. We have no central heating. DH and I have survived 2 winters by putting on extra jumpers and snuggling under a duvet on the sofa. I fully appreciate that this is not suitable for a baby, so we're planning on getting some plug in radiators, if our landlady refuses to install central heating.

3. The walls are quite thin - my mother's opinion. I don't think they are really, seeing as it's a flat, and they're not nearly as bad as friends' flats.

So, are we being totally naive in thinking a baby will be ok in this flat? And will we be ok coping in this flat?

Any advice/opinions oh wise mumsnetters?

1/ Loads of people lug their child and pram up flights of stairs. It is not ideal, but it is fine.

2/ Babies do not need central heating. When most of us over 30 were brought up it wasn't standard. It is easy to dress a baby up warmly and anyway you can always cuddle for extra warmth.

3/ Living in a flat involves living with the noise of others. Again, ti si not ideal but unless your Mum wants to buy you a detached house then you and your neighbours will deal with it.

Welcome to the start of the interfering!

IMO the lack of central heating is no problem at all, but the steps will be a pain. When my kid was born we lived in a granny flat up two flights of stairs. We managed ok, but it was a complete pain, and I was so worried about dropping the baby on the stairs I almost became a recluse. My baby hated slings, and didn't seem to fit in any of them. We moved out when he was a year old and I was so happy!

You might be fine though, you won't really know until you try it. People have to cope with a lot worse after all. Good luck!

It's fairly straightforward to get a buggy down four steps if you go backwards. Can you borrow a buggy and give it a go.

Slings are great but babies can get heavy really quickly, especially if you have two hands full of shopping.

No reason why it can't work though

The heating issue would bother me a bit.

Oh, you've set my heart at ease a little! I think my mother's problem is that she brought us all up in a detached house in the countryside with a garden and no neighbours! Slightly different to this purpose-built city flat

Doesn't sound ideal but babies are brought up in far worse conditions all over the world, he/she will be fine. I have 3 steps down from the street to my front door and have been able to gently bump the pram up and down no problem. I would say you need to look into the heating options paticularly for a winter baby. It feels very cold when you are up in the middle of the night with a baby. I really wouldn't worry about the thin walls thing. Even if you lived in a standard semi you neighbours are likely to hear baby in the night if you are blessed with a screamer!!

Doesn't sound ideal in all honesty. I have 2 kids and wouldn't want the steps and heating issues. If it's practical and possible for you to move I'd seriously consider it.

I don't see that any of those things are huge issues tbh.

You're right, for me the top issue is heating. We're researching options for heating installation to be able to present elderly landlady with a couple of ready made options should she choose to take them.

It will be fine.

Ds was a November baby and we live in Scotland with no central heating. I think in general flats actually keep the heat better as you have other people's heating around you! We certainly benefit from our neighbours. We had heating on in the livingroom (electric wall-mounted radiator) and heated up the bedroom a bit before we went to bed but didn't keep it on all night. I had an electric thermometer so I could keep an eye on the room temp and it never went below 15%. Babies don't actually have to be kept in really warm rooms and too hot is actually worse than too cold. Just dress him/her and you accordingly.

As for stairs, we live on the third floor with no lift and again it was fine. Not ideal but totally doable. When he was teeny I could unclip the carrycot, fold the chassis and put it over one shoulder and take the lot up the stairs that way. After a few months we got a car and I just kept the pram in the car.

I used a sling a lot. It is indeed your friend if you're dealing with a lot of stairs

15%? 15C. That was with no heating on first thing in the morning.

The steps might be a bit of a pain. I live in a first floor flat, have 2 ds's and a double pushchair, no lift, so sometimes have to make 3/4 trips up and down the stairs when we get home from shopping. Depends if ds1 will walk up stairs or not. They are big steps and he is just getting used to them, so I often carry him, then go back for ds2 and a shopping bag, then go back for other bags, then go back for pushchair, and the same when we go out. I take pushchair down, then ds2, then come back up for ds1. But hey, it all helps get the weight off!
Also agree that central heating isn't a MUST, like others have said, 30/40 years ago, it wouldn't have been the norm. Not hard to keep a baby in many layers and warm enough.
IMO/E, your baby will only be bothered about noise, if he/she gets used to silence and people creeping around. My ds1 will only fall asleep if quiet, ds2 can sleep with the hoover under his cot!
Don't worry, people survive on a lot worse then what you have.
Good luck

I am about to have my third child and I live in a lovely two bed flat, two floors up.

You will get used to the stairs. They are a pain the arse but after a few months you will not notice them.

I survive by bumping the buggy up and down with child strapped in and shopping on the back.

Is there somewhere you could store it down below and then just carry babe up? Don't worry if you don't.

I've always had central heating so cannot advise on that.

Also it's natural to worry about things like this before you have a baby but you will find a way to make things work, honest.

We live on the second floor, about 30 steps, no life. You'll be fine- it'll get you fit!

None of us oldies like me had central heating when we were babies....my Mum says she remembers the frost being on the inside of the windows when she used to get up to lug the coal in, wash my nappies etc in the 60s. You'll be fine- although the heating would probably be a priority above other stuff....

Walls in most houses are also thinner these days.....Unless you're next to Victor Meldrew you'll be fine!

It'll be better for you to have the baby in the flat and put up with it until you're ready to move out than go through the aggro of moving heavily pregnant or with a newborn. it won't be great but not many people have ideal living conditions when a baby first comes along anyway.

We lived in a draughty old tenemant with 2 flights of stairs and no central heating when DD was born. So do lots of people I know in my city.

You get used to bumping the pushchair up the stairs. Really, you do. It'll bugger up the pushchair over time, and you have to be careful with your back when lugging it upstairs, but it's perfectly do-able. If you have a hall cupboard/secure lobby to store your pushchair in, even better.

Babies have existed a lot longer than central heating! If your baby is cold it'll wake up, cry and let you know! Then all you have to do is add a extra blanket. DH and I had a nursery thermometer and gro-bags in different togs so we switched colder for warmer when the temperature dropped.

Thin walls wont be an issue. Newborns like the sound of their family nearby, it'll probably soothe more than disturb. I know mothers of twins who have had one twin WAILING in the cot right next to their sibling and the sibling doesn't even stir.

You'll be fine, your mum is fussing!

Do you have a car? When I lived in a 3rd floor flat (No lift), I left the buggy in the boot of the car as there was no way I could get it up the stairs. Any kind of storage, shed or garage would be ok to store buggy.

But I don't think you need to move, you've got the right idea investing in some radiators, ones with timers would be good, to keep the flat warm over night without having to leave them on continuously.

As for noise - also fine!

We get a lot of traffic noise outside. Never been a problem. We've got noisy neighbours downstairs at the moment and it keeps dh & I awake sometimes but ds never stirs! I think having been used to it from birth helps.

The only neighbour who ever complained about ds crying was the boy next door who had made my life a misery while pregnant with his loud music. He banged on the wall one night when I was trying to settle ds - he never did it again. Don't mess with a sleep-deprived, mastitis-ridden postpartum woman .

Also test your buggy on the stairs. Some of them automatically put the brake on when you try to bump them up the stairs.

Keeping the buggy in the back of the car is a great idea.

It isn't the baby I'm concerned about with the noise, more the neighbours But there is a baby in the next door building (one flight up from us to judge by the crying) and his crying has never kept me up. It's no worse than traffic noises.

I do have a car, but it's parked about 5 minutes walk away. But depending on what we find ourselves using it for, we might just end up keeping the buggy in the car.

Ohh, timers on the radiators is a good idea. I'll do that!

As I said, most of our neighbours have been lovely. The man downstairs commented on ds having learnt to walk because he could hear him running around but wasn't complaining. Our present nextdoor neighbour said (when asked) that ds did sometimes wake him up if he cried in the night but that he just rolls over and goes back to sleep. Much easier to ignore someone else's baby

the heating thing wouldn't concern me. you can wrap a baby up nice and warm if really cold and have an electric heater or two. Perhaps invest in a gro bag aswell. the stairs will be a pain though. Shop on internet as having the shopping come to you rather than the other way round will be a big help. I lived in flat with dd and found the stairs a pain. It was the waking her to carry her upstairs and then going back for buggy that was a nuisance. I use to fantacise about having my own ground floor door that I could wheel buggy into , keeping dd fast asleep. In fact, it is one of my main reasons we eventually moved BUT as others have said , it is not disastrous by any means, just a PITA.

Yes, Mollythetortoise, you're right - we can get shopping delivered, at least the big bulky stuff.

I have heard good things about grobags - will add it to my list of things to investigate.

you will be fine Cies.
Its true we older mums were brought up when very young with no central heating. It could get quite chilly up at night feeding a new born and changing it.. have that warm blanket to wrap around you both. You might want to get the plave a bit warmer especially when baby is very newborn and not got much weight/fat on him/her. Yes steps will be annoying but we lived in a 1st floor falt when my first son was born and we would leave buggy at bottom on the ground floor. Sling only ok when baby very very tiny and light to carry.