Town vs rural large family

[Lilaclight]

I live in a lovely town with DH and five DC aged 5-13. We have a detached 4 bed, 2 parking spaces, no garage. Children walk to school. It’s already been extended so no scope there. We’ve viewed a semi-detached 7 bed in a village 5 miles away. Tons of room for everyone and multiple vehicles, workshop and garage. I’m not fussed about being semi-detached as only one room adjoins next door. Both locations are great but the village doesn’t have any amenities other than a pub and it would mean driving the children to school and my work. However everyone would have their own space. What would you do?

Good decision OP.

My boyfriend lives in a village a 15 minute drive from me. He's looking to move to my town as he's fed up of having to drive himself/his son to do anything.

The village was very appealing when his son was little. Not so much anymore, particularly as his son has got himself a girlfriend. Even more driving to do.

And you've got 5! Just no.

@Lilaclight Do you need 7 bedrooms? A 7 bed semi is very odd. Over extended? Could you not move where you live? Teenagers won’t like it much. You will spend all your time in the car! I know - we are rural. Logistics will become much more difficult. You might crave space, but what about everyone else? I’d do a family spreadsheet on pros and cons - and be honest!

I live rurally and seem to spend my life in the car. I am hoping to move to town as I also have children who are craving more independence as they get older. I would stay in town or choose a large village with amenities.

I live pretty rurally and before DS could drive I spent a LOT of time ferrying him about. It’s not just school, it was his clubs, his social life, if he wanted to go shopping, doctors, dentist. I couldn’t imagine doing that x 5. I would look for a 4 or 5 bed in a better location that you could extend/do a loft conversion

A 4 bedroom house is loads of space, how can it not be enough? Once they hit secondary school they'll be wanting after school activities, clubs, sports, socialising. If they're in town they can without being their taxi. Don't move unless there's a decent bus service.

Potentially space is going to be a decreasing issue? In 5 years, your oldest could be off at university or out of the house working?

I live rurally with an 8yr old DC. The driving to everything is not something I could do x5.

I grew up in a town. I think I'd have struggled to lose my independence at 13 if I was used to having it.

We live rurally - biggest mistake I ever made to move for more space. Kids have all moved out now (to much more urban locations) and I still hate having to use the car so much. It's 10 miles to the gym, 5 to a supermarket and we're not on a bus route. To be fair, we're not in a village but in a tiny hamlet. Lovely views and lovely neighbours but it's not for me.

No way, you will just live in the car and they won’t have their independence. I’d look for a bigger house in town.

My DH has tried to make me move somewhere more rural on and off fkr years. I know what I like and that’s being able to walk to the places I need to go. I think he’s beginning to realise after 25 odd years that he might not get his rural idyll…

because she has 5 children. Op can you convert a downstairs reception room into a bedroom? I have 5 and we extended our 4 bed and now have 6 beds and still don’t have a spare room. Extra bathroom will become important as they get older.

I would 100% go for the house move. We live in a rural village, big house, big garden. It was great for parties, sleepovers when my DC were growing up. Yes, I spent a lot of time driving the DC where they needed/wanted to be but what that also meant was that I knew, for the most part, where they were as I had driven them there.

We never refused to drive them anywhere as the rural life was what we chose. It also meant our children never just ‘hung round’ town which I can only see as good.

of course its enough - i can read she has 5 children but they don't all need a room each do they? no family does

Stay. Rural life with kids is hell on earth unless you love driving late at night down back country lanes.

I live rurally and the logistics with teenagers are a nightmare. So much easier for their town or city based friends. Rural life has its pluses but it’s hard for teenagers who want to do interesting things and meet up with friends. They get bored and are reliant on lifts or patchy public transport.
With your size family town living is much more sensible.

I moved from a town to a village last year. But, I was only willing to make the move because it’s a village on several bus routes, with a primary and a secondary school, and a grocery shop.
As it is I have to drive the kids to our local town for swimming and dance lessons, but there’s two of them and they’re still primary age. It would be a big time commitment for you to maintain their access to extracurricular activities and friendships.