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Original poster

Compromise on location vs size/type of house

29 replies

Notnowjo · 03/10/2025 06:47

Asking for opinions from others who have faced the same issue please? We need to move for a number of reasons and I am struggling to find the right house in the right location and I don’t know what to compromise on.

my kids are older so we need more space, where we live and where we are looking to move to (other side of town) tends to have older and smaller houses. Our home suburb was formerly poor, came up and is now falling again (combo of things around house quality/availability, size, condition, cost, schools and zones, traffic etc. Our secondary schools especially are poor I now have my kid into the best (IMHO) school in town but it’s across town. Hence we thought to move closer to make things easier. However that area has more better bigger houses but they tend to be further out of the suburb so you start running into longer walks for public transport and driving to your local area for that pink of milk/glass of wine/whatever local job you need to do.

I’m looking for experience did you compromise on area to get a bigger house? Did you regret it? Do you live further out with teens? Driving them everywhere? Is it all a pain? I’m just going round and round and round. I find a nice looking house then realise it’s 20 mins walk away from anything? I see a great location then realise everything around is a 2 bed! How do I decide?
Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
Notnowjo · 03/10/2025 06:48

Please excuse the typos!

OP posts:
secretrugbyfan · 03/10/2025 06:53

For me personally, location trumps everything. You could live in the perfect house, but if it's not in the right area, it's not the perfect house. That's just me though, I'm sure you will get other opinions....

ComtesseDeSpair · 03/10/2025 11:17

With size, I think you need to weigh up which are the absolutely necessaries and which are the nice to haves. I’d compromise on location for each teen to have their own bedroom (unless they want to share) because that’s a real quality of life aspect, for them in terms of having private space and somewhere to study, and for you in terms of not having to deal with squabbles about how the shared bedroom is being used and each other’s annoying habits. I’d not compromise on location for a things like bigger garden (which teens are less likely to use) or superfluous rooms.

With teens particularly I wouldn’t want to be somewhere with poor transport connections or which involved a lot of driving to get them places, however nice the location. You end up being a taxi service, and they lose out on opportunities for building independence.

Letthembefree · 03/10/2025 11:32

Location! Unless you have a particular requirement for a certain type or size of accommodation.

We learnt this lesson the hard way when we were swayed by a large house in a peripheral estate which turned out to have difficult neighbours, no local shop, 15 mins walk to a park, no local friends to share school run with, just a generally rougher area that felt disconnected from our town community. We ended up moving and next time we prioritised walking distance to amenities and school and have no regrets.

If your son is already at high school how many years do they have left and would the new area work for you longer term or would you want to move again once they leave school in 5-7 years?

Mumlaplomb · 03/10/2025 12:26

I think get the safest area with reasonable transport connections if you can. Teens will want to be independently travelling so a safer area will be better for that.

Fantomflangeflinger · 03/10/2025 12:29

House size is better. Many little known locations are fine once you live there.

TheNightingalesStarling · 03/10/2025 12:34

20 minutes walk doesn't sound that remote... I know my teen actually misses her 15min walk to Scouts now she's in Explorers so I need to drive her two villages over.

Personally I think it would be shirt sighted to dismiss properties over a 20min walk

Potatoepatatoe · 03/10/2025 12:35

near links and friends is important but might leave for uni in next few years or so- location for me really as I have lived in all types of housing social, shared ownership private, very rich and established areas to run down and poor - good location smaller house often means you have a better community and neighbours sad but true and can spend years trying to adapt of fit in is exhausting not your tribe vibe - finding a fit via location type works imho my other half however isn’t phased by above and would choose size or transport over location and long convos about this such topic - poorer areas have bonds but always felt an outsider due to speech professionalism and class sadly

Original poster
Notnowjo · 03/10/2025 12:58

Thanks everyone I am just finding it so hard and keep going round and round and round.
@Letthembefree kid actually only has 3 years left but we really need to move, I don’t see myself being here long term but I think my other half does so that’s a conversation for another time.

we are moving urban to urban (ie 1 side of town to the other) or staying in the same area. We are so very urban one of the things I crave the most is a driveway! The ability to drive my car onto my property and leave a door open to take things out or run a vacuum across it without having to have a look out for the cable and bob about opening and closing the door and apologising to people would be amazing (I used to want a garden but have given up on that dream)

fortunately where we are is personally safe but there is just so much casual crime (mainly of the what’s yours is mine) variety. Stolen and broken into cars nightly. Stolen number plates and so on. I have no idea if it is any different across town.

Every house I see seems to have something wrong I’m excluding maintenance nightmares automatically but have widened the net to include anything it is possibly to build an affordable extension. Happy to replace kitchens and bathrooms but keep finding things not suitable and trying to work out whether it is me ‘inventing’ a reason because I’m just not feeling it.

OP posts:
Mosaic123 · 03/10/2025 13:04

As your children grow older you will find that 20 mins is not a huge walk. Especially if it's flat. If it's hilly that's different.

If you have a favourite street/s why not pop a typed note through the doors of houses today appeal to you asking if they are selling in the future?

Meadowfinch · 03/10/2025 13:06

I have a teen, and I moved us further out of town to get extra space/parking.

However, when I moved, I looked closely at cycle paths so my ds can get into town on his own without cycling in traffic. I found a house that is a 30 min cycle across a common and along a cycle path to reach the centre of our town.

DS is over 6' and doesn't bat an eyelid at walking or cycling home. He seems to enjoy it.

Check an ordinance survey map. This is one thing Google maps is no good at.

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 03/10/2025 13:07

I compromised on house for perfect location. I very nearly went for house over location ( it fell through) and I thank my lucky stars I didn't. I don't have children though.

Zempy · 03/10/2025 13:08

20 minutes walk from everything is nothing unless there are disabilities.

I would go for location if at all possible.

Pancakeflipper · 03/10/2025 13:08

We went for location. Though we didn't know the area well (new city).

20yrs later I have no regrets. We live quite rural, near the decent schools into countryside. There's a decent community feel and lots of ways to be involved.

Our house is not grand especially not compared to others. We weren't in love with it when we bought it. But it's become a home. Our children openly say they love their home.

SevenHundredandFortyThreeThree · 03/10/2025 13:09

There's a reason no one has made a show called Size/Type of House x3. Location every time.

JillMW · 03/10/2025 13:16

I compromised on location for a bigger house with a lovely garden. House is boring BUT extremely economical to run and requires little maintenance to keep it looking it’s best. Having extra rooms meant visitors were always welcome being that weekends, after school or overnight. I loved having all the young people bobbing in and out. A 20 minute walk feels very close to me, I would not have thought of it as a compromise.

Doone22 · 03/10/2025 13:40

Who on earth can't walk 20 mins? If you're not an invalid then that's nothing, it'll get you out walking which is the best exercise. Or cycling.

Mumstheword1983 · 03/10/2025 14:07

Location Location Location. Every time 😃 good luck OP

childofthe607080s · 03/10/2025 14:10

20 minute walk is really close - you would have to do that probably 6 times a day to get to 10000 steps

unless there are no pavements and it’s along a busy road

our shops are 20 mins or more walk as is the bus stop and I would describe it as really handy for amenities

clipboardz · 03/10/2025 14:12

For me personally, location trumps everything.

Same

clipboardz · 03/10/2025 14:14

20min walk from public transport and shops? too long for me personally. I live 8mins from the high street and station/bus stops. If I lived 20 mins away I would get a bigger house but I don't want to drive everywhere.

clipboardz · 03/10/2025 14:17

Who on earth can't walk 20 mins?

It's not that, it's realising you have forgotten to get milk etc which will be a 40min round trip but you need to take dc to an activity in 30mins. You just spend more time in the car.

miss79guided · 03/10/2025 14:17

Notnowjo · 03/10/2025 06:47

Asking for opinions from others who have faced the same issue please? We need to move for a number of reasons and I am struggling to find the right house in the right location and I don’t know what to compromise on.

my kids are older so we need more space, where we live and where we are looking to move to (other side of town) tends to have older and smaller houses. Our home suburb was formerly poor, came up and is now falling again (combo of things around house quality/availability, size, condition, cost, schools and zones, traffic etc. Our secondary schools especially are poor I now have my kid into the best (IMHO) school in town but it’s across town. Hence we thought to move closer to make things easier. However that area has more better bigger houses but they tend to be further out of the suburb so you start running into longer walks for public transport and driving to your local area for that pink of milk/glass of wine/whatever local job you need to do.

I’m looking for experience did you compromise on area to get a bigger house? Did you regret it? Do you live further out with teens? Driving them everywhere? Is it all a pain? I’m just going round and round and round. I find a nice looking house then realise it’s 20 mins walk away from anything? I see a great location then realise everything around is a 2 bed! How do I decide?
Thanks

Location IS everything

E.g. A pig IS still a pig wherever it is - better to be a pig in a sty than a pig in a sandwich
> You WILL make the best of it WHEREVER you are - get the location right FIRST then everythin else WILL come to you - I DON`T make the rules

Slimmernow · 03/10/2025 14:26

Notnowjo · 03/10/2025 12:58

Thanks everyone I am just finding it so hard and keep going round and round and round.
@Letthembefree kid actually only has 3 years left but we really need to move, I don’t see myself being here long term but I think my other half does so that’s a conversation for another time.

we are moving urban to urban (ie 1 side of town to the other) or staying in the same area. We are so very urban one of the things I crave the most is a driveway! The ability to drive my car onto my property and leave a door open to take things out or run a vacuum across it without having to have a look out for the cable and bob about opening and closing the door and apologising to people would be amazing (I used to want a garden but have given up on that dream)

fortunately where we are is personally safe but there is just so much casual crime (mainly of the what’s yours is mine) variety. Stolen and broken into cars nightly. Stolen number plates and so on. I have no idea if it is any different across town.

Every house I see seems to have something wrong I’m excluding maintenance nightmares automatically but have widened the net to include anything it is possibly to build an affordable extension. Happy to replace kitchens and bathrooms but keep finding things not suitable and trying to work out whether it is me ‘inventing’ a reason because I’m just not feeling it.

I don’t see myself being here long term but I think my other half does so that’s a conversation for another time.

If your DC only has 3 school years left and realistically by the time you have your house on the market and then moved it’s probably going to be next spring/summer (middle of GCSE exams) - then they only have another 2 years in the area but it’s not where you want to be long term?

Where do you want to be long term and can you wait 2 years? It’s a lot of lost equity to move twice - if you are worried about transport - will your DC be able to drive soon?

We live in a very safe area with public transport but we still picked up our daughters in the evenings from sports etc. I don’t have sons so maybe that’s different but probably not - the nature of risks is just different being a teenage male on a bus at night.

kirinm · 03/10/2025 14:54

We’ve been trying to buy in a specific area for the last year and a half and we were just on the cusp of compromising on location and were going to make an offer on a house in a different area. but the night before we made the offer, one came on on our ideal road. It’s a bit smaller than we’d like but the location turned out to be much more important for us.