House Clearance - so overwhelmed, where do I start?

[ErlingHaalandsManBun]

My Dad died earlier this year and my brother and I are sole beneficiaries. Probate granted and the house went on the market last month and sold.

We now have the absolutely mammoth task of clearing out the house.

Where do we start??

There is so much 'stuff' such as plates/pans/crockery/vases/pictures etc... what do we do with them?

Anyone done it recently who can give some sound advice on how to approach this overwhelming task.

We did go through, as did our adult children and other family members and we took what we wanted to keep before we put it on the market. Then we tidied and deep cleaned it and set it up nicely ready to list it.

To be honest, at that time, that was all my brother and I could cope with emotionally. We never in a million years thought we would sell it within a day of it going on the market to the first person that viewed it. We thought it could take months so that has come as a shock.

We have sold to cash buyers and are about 4 weeks into the process. No survey carried out yet so we have at least a month I would say before we are talking exchange and completion dates.

But I have slowly been aware that time is creeping on and the mammoth physical and emotional task that awaits us in clearing out the rest can no longer wait. Hence the questions.

I have actually got some skip hire quotes now and a quote for a full clearance which didn't scare me. So I now need to talk through these options with my brother and then we will go from there.

But I feel sick to my stomach with having to do this. We were raised in that house and I still see my parents in every corner of it.

But hey ho, what must be done, must be done.

Thank you to everyone for all your really helpful suggestions.

I had to do this in Lockdown L3 in London - interesting!!

1. Get out what you want or need
2. Organise kitchen stuff into boxes to set up a family - contact foodbank and ask to collect.
3. DItch any food related items
4. TOwels and duvets - local dogs place or similar
5. CLothes charity shops
6. Books - interestingly many charity shops dont want these anymore - so would pick out decent hardback coffee table jobs and donate those and the rest recycle
7. Furniture, look for a local charity that helps out rehomed families e.g. DV situations or sally army or heart foundation - many charities have specific furniture shops but for soft furnishings will need labels.
8. If its antiques try an auction house
9. I would use a skip over man and van - that often gets fly tipped, we pay around 150
10. I would second the scrap metal idea
11. you could also advertise locally for things like garage or shed contents for car booters to come and get
12. We still have a few bits of furniture we will never use but am loathe to get rid but you have to think about the cost of storage etc.

Worst thing was actually paperbacks!

Beds and wardrobes went fast

It does feel endless and thankless to be honest and if I had the cash I would have got someone in having got what we wanted from it. It was only a flat but had 2 generations of stuff in it as it was an inherited tenancy under the old rent scheme.

We had to do this recently. We paid about £1,000 for a house clearance company. I would definitely recommend you do this, it's worth every penny IME.

There's far too much emotion involved in clearing it yourself. Remove anything you want to keep and then book them in. They cleared our 3 bed semi in a day. It all went into three 'piles' ... charity, auction and dump (last resort). Anything sold in auction they took 10% or similar.

Just make sure the man with van is licensed to dispose of everything or you’ll be on the hook for fly tipping

If you get a clearance company in you still need to sort things yourself and also to remove anything you want to keep ahead of them coming as they'll just pack everything!

With MIL house we asked the first time buyers if they wanted anything (after we had taken out the things family wanted and all the bedding/clothes/books etc) and after a walk through they took everything - white goods/beds/ furniture/ crockery. We left some things that had a bit of value and like to think they used some of it for a while until they decided what they wanted and got a bit of money for the rest.

Might be worth asking the buyers if there is anything they want.

Thank you, yes.

If we do use one then I will go over and do my own clear out beforehand and just make sure I take the antiques and some of the other bits I want to keep beforehand. Then can leave my brother to take what he wants and then we will both go and be at the house for the clearance company to come and take everything else.

The clearance quotes I have had have been fairly reasonable and to be honest, to take away the stress and hassle I think we may just throw some money at the problem.

We are both feeling really emotional and overwhelmed and I think this way will help us both not get too connected to their 'stuff'

This is where we are leaning towards to be honest.

I think we will both go in, go through everything and get what we need and want to take. Box up the antiques and family heirloom stuff and remove them from the house and then get the clearance company to take the rest.

Sentiment and emotion will then be removed from the process as I feel sick to my stomach when I think of doing it ourselves. The emotions are so high and I know it will be much much easier on us both.

Contact the Salvation Army and ask if they are interested in the crockery and cutlery, or any bed linen for their homeless shelters.

Yes look it as a good financial investment in your emotional health - I am sure its what your DPs would have wanted for you both. I am sorry for your loss.

Sorry for your loss OP. It depends how much time/ energy and resources you want to put into it but it is possible to clear yourselves. We had to clear my granny's house the other year and managed to get quite a lot shifted without having to do too many top runs.

Definitely take all the paperwork and sort through it. Then ask everyone in the family to take what they would like to keep. Then you can start the sorting. We did 1 room at a time and then tackled the loft (which was a huge job in itself as my granny had kept loads of her mums old stuff when she died so we had all her stuff and all her mums stuff to clear).

Definitely make the most of charities. Not just the high street store kind who are sometimes more restrictive with what they take as donations due to space or volunteer time to sort donations.

Round us we have a couple of charities that help homeless/ women escaping DV/ vulnerable people set up their homes. They pretty much will take anything in half decent condition people need for homes -toasters, kettles, air fryers, slow cookers, irons, ironing boards, pots, pans, crockery, cutlery, clothes airers, curtains ect. We were amazed how much they were willing to take that we thought would have to be skipped.

We also have a furniture project who were quite happy to take tables, chairs, coffee tables and bigger furniture.

We have a community garden charity who were happy to receive the garden tools, plant pots, planters and bags of compost.

The local dog rescue took all the towels and sheets.

My granny had an awful lot of clothes from 1950s to before she died in 2019. Plus her mum's (nan's) clothes from the 1920s, 1930's, 1940's and up to the 80s. We sold a lot of the vintage stuff online and took some to the local vintage markets to sell to traders. Nan's 1920's, 30's and 40's stuff sold especially well as lots of re- enactors wanted them (her 1940's housewife stuff for a woman in her early 40s was very desirable). Another surprise was the real fur coats which again were very popular in the vintage market.

Put things like washers, dryers, beds on FB marketplace/ olio/ Gumtree and see if there are any takers. Our council charge to take big items and our local BHF can only take things in good condition with fire labels on them..

Any knick nacks that could be of value to the auction house.

Old photos, see what family members want to take, then anything related to social history - factory worker group pictures/ old school photos / old photos of buildings in the local area ect. can sometimes be of interest to the local history group. Our local history group are really happy to receive factory worker/ mine workers group shots from the various factories and coileries around us, especially if they are labelled with a year.

Then it's a real matter of been brutally honest with what is saleable and what is sentimental and if it really isn't saleable then it needs to be put in the tip.

Good luck with it all.

It's a really hard thing to do. Im
in the process of doing it for my aunts house. And it's been emotionally draining.

ive done most of it myself. My mum found it too hard. And it's a 2 bed flat so not worth getting someone in.

but it's hard going. Sorting through someone's belongings. Most of it has ended up at the tip. Local charity shops have notices saying they are full to capacity and in all honesty my mum (who was my aunts full time carer) is a heavy smoker and smoked indoors, so very unlikely anyone would want anything.

I've spent days and days scrubbing walls etc to try and get it smelling fresh to help it once it goes on the market.

I dread this when my dad dies.

A lot of charities do house clearance.
Here's a breakdown of how some charities approach house clearance:
Shelter:
Offers a professional house clearance service, with both full and partial clearances available. Proceeds from the sale of donated items go towards fighting the housing emergency, according to Shelter England.

British Heart Foundation:
Provides a house clearance service to collect and sell donated items, with the funds supporting their research into heart and circulatory diseases.

HELP The Mental Health Charity:
Specializes in bereavement house clearances, offering a free service for donated items that can be resold.

The Chartwell Cancer Trust:
Offers house clearance services with a focus on collecting items for their charity shops, helping to fund oncology services.

Age UK East Sussex:
Provides a house clearance and furniture collection service, assisting with anything from single item collection to full house clearances.

St Oswald's Hospice:
Offers a house clearance service with a focus on recycling and reselling items, with the proceeds supporting their hospice care.

St Peter's Hospice:
Offers house clearance services in and around Bristol, with a focus on reselling and recycling items, according to St Peter's Hospice.

The Sara Lee Trust:
Provides a house clearance service, with a focus on supporting their work with families facing life-limiting illnesses.

Haven House Children's Hospice:
Offers a house clearance service, with a focus on reselling and recycling items, with the money raised going to support their hospice care, according to www.havenhouse.org.uk.

Katharine House Hospice:
Offers a house clearance service.

Request a house clearance - British Heart Foundation
House Clearance - a charity service to sell or recycle your goods - BHF. ... We provide a house clearance service to clear items a...

British Heart Foundation

Charities That Do House Clearance (+ How Much They Charge)
9 Nov 2023 — Here are some national charities that offer house clearance services: * British Heart Foundation: The British Heart Fou...

what a great idea. Many hands make light work and all that....

OP, I feel for you, it's a really really stressful and arduous thing to go through. We had to clear my aunt's house and she lives 200 miles away and I work full time. It took a few trips, I did it with my mum and my sister and we did use a house clearance company as we had no choice. They charged for their services but they also took some of the more valuable furniture and took that off the bill. It feels a bit like daylight robbery because you just think of all the insurance you pay out in case someone burgles your house and there is someone just legitimately walking in and taking everything and you end up paying THEM! It just feels so wrong, and really sad.

The process made my mum realise that she had to start going through her own stuff while she was alive and since my dad also died she has really got ruthless about decluttering and getting rid of stuff she doesn't want anymore. It will still be a big job when eventually she goes but I'm so grateful to her for thinking to try to avoiding stressing us by dealing with it one day and trying to "Swedish Death Clean" as much as she can now.

Oh and also it got me thinking about the potential horrors (and humour) of finding someone's um, very, personal items after they've gone. Can you imagine finding someone's sex toys or porn collection?! 😱

I had to do this and my father wasn't even dead. It brought home to me how little money other people's possessions are actually worth, and how much of my time it would have taken to actually liquidate things. Tipping charges are a killer, this is the best reason for gifting and recycling.

I think it's sensible to get in a house clearance company if you can afford it.
I had to clear a house twice, once when my mother died and my Dad wanted to move to a smaller flat. We got a couple of skips for it but Dad was incapable of doing anything because he couldn't bear to part with stuff and kept fishing things back out of the skip.
The second time was when Dad died, I had to clear his flat and that was really hard because obviously he'd kept the most sentimental things after the house clearance but I live abroad and couldn't take everything with me.

It's really hard. You can take photos of sentimental things which you can't keep because you can't keep everything. Keep one or two things like a couple of your Dad's ties. Start with the easiest rooms, kitchen and bathroom, if you do decide to do it yourself. Make sure all paperwork is sorted before the house clearance people come in. Get other relatives in to see if there are things they want to keep.

Thank you for this, its really helpful.

I am in the process of getting quotes and information from some of these so hope we can get some help with it.

I have decided I am prepared to throw some money at this. Honestly I am emotionally drained and we haven't even started doing any of it yet.

But I feel clearer now on how to tackle it and what I need to do at least.

I would say, search through everything, thumb through books (people used to hide bank notes in books) keep things like vintage Christmas decorations as they are now valuable, nice walking sticks, check for hallmarks on anything (lion = keep), house clearance companies rely on finding some hidden treasure as their bonus whilst the fee covers the labour and dumping costs which is fair enough, it's always a bit of a gamble for them, they can lose money on the job, break even or make a profit - just check every nook and cranny 😊

I was thinking that. No wonder the OP is finding it so stressful and overwhelming, if she has waited until she has a buyer champing at the bit it to move in before even thinking about clearing it.

@ErlingHaalandsManBun throwing some money at the problem is the right. thing to do - spare yourself the emotional exhaustion as much as you can

I cleared out my DGM's massive house when she went into a home and it took a year. It's such hard work. She had cupboards full of multiples of things.

We went through it all room by room. We gave car loads to charity, gave lots to friends, sold some of it (back when eBay was worth it), we had skips and at the very end for big furniture we had a house clearance company.

I can't remember there being Facebook neighbourhood pages then but when I was helping my friend with his DMs house that's what we did. It all went on the drive except clothing. And it all went.

Like a poster says up thread I'm determined to not have that for mine. My home is relatively small, future proofed and I'm decluttering and giving away constantly.

I do feel for you. I hope it goes well.

I am actually finding it overwhelming and stressful because I have lost both parents in the matter of a couple of years and we are selling our family home that we grew up in.

And when did I say we had our buyer champing at the bit. We have at least a month before completion.

We have actually already done a partial clear out and taken all the things we want, and most of the sentimental stuff and family have been and taken what they want, there is just a couple of boxes in the loft still to go through.

We just now need to get rid of the rest and yes its bloody overwhelming and neither myself or my brother have felt emotionally ready to do it.

Thanks for the judgement though, its really helpful.