DH dreams of countryside and I love the city. WTH do we do?

[Shwish]

Ok i'll preface by saying we're not currently looking to move as we have kids who will need to apply for secondary in a few months so we moved to current house in catchment. But it's a compromise that neither of us really love being in London zone 5 so full on suburbia really.
But every time the subject comes up it gets a bit heated. He complains that our road is too busy, I hate the fact that the train station only has 1 line so if that goes down then you're screwed (we both work in central London) but I do like that we're about 5 minutes walk from the not great but at least useful High Street.
He dreams of living in a leafy village somewhere eventually where it's all green and country lanes. I literally can't imagine anything worse. I find the countryside scary in the dark and hate having to drive everywhere. He loves the idea of space, I like being able to walk to pubs / restaurants / theatre (or at least very convenient public transport) I absolutely HATE driving daily. He hates crowds and noisyness. I know it seems daft to think about now but I just don't see how we can reconcile this for our future. Any suggestions please?

What suburb is this?

I’m in Zone 6, Surrey / South London border and we have lots of country within 5-10 mins drive, but into the city in 30 mins. Its not a country village where I live, but next towns are more of that. I am in a walking group and never knew so much country was on the doorstep. It’s a good compromise, and sure there’s plenty of other places.

@Zanatdywe might be neighbours…

I’m a city lover. My husband likes the country. We tried the outer London suburbs but neither of us loved it so I agreed to try going a bit further out. We are now just outside zone 6, in the green belt. As I’ve got older I’ve learned to appreciate nature more and enjoy being out here. The only downside is having to drive everywhere. We are only two miles from the nearest town and station but there are no pavements for the first half of that. And we are near London so there is still a lot of traffic. On the plus side, it has hugely cut my drinking!

I live near a commuter belt station in Kent and feel i have the best of both worlds

We moved to Surrey suburbia when DC were smaller for housing within budget and because DH wanted countryside. It’s been fine but not much independence for teens.
Your kind of London suburbia would have been my preference.

So you’re where you are now for the next 7-8 years?

If after that you still need / want reasonable commute time to your jobs in central London, and/or would like to help your adult DC with housing while they work etc, where you are would remain a good option.

You can enjoy London things whenever you like and easily get out to the countryside or coast.

But there are also loads of options in the commuterbelt with countryside and decent rail links to London.

Do somewhere that has a bit of both rural ish but more shops ect.
St Albans or somewhere like that. A compromise for both of you.

This. Keep buying the lottery tickets to fund it obviously! To me, this is a fundamental incompatibility like children / no children, but one that takes longer to realise.

This is us. Husband wants us to buy a rural house one day. I said no way.

our compromise is somewhere like Reigate where he can go to Box Hill cycling and I can still enjoy a coffee shop

There are better cities than London. Try somewhere like Cambridge where it's still buzzy and fully of facilities and culture, but a lot less grotty and fume-ridden, and it's smaller so you don't have to schlep through hours of commuterville traffic to get out to the real countryside

I live in a suburb about 2.5 miles from Swansea city centre. Apart from the occasional car going past the silence is deafening. There are extensive woods nearby and obviously beaches. I'm not saying move to Swansea, although there are regular trains to Paddington, but find an area you like and listen.

I’m commuter belt to London and I loathe it. As soon as I’m on the train back home it feels parochial and awful, like some shit no man’s land that isn’t London but isn’t rural enough to be fully rural (loads of traffic still, roadworks etc but none of the joy of London) I’ve been here nearly 20 years and my heart sinks literally every single time I drive up my road.
if I could choose, I’d have a large house in London along the river somewhere like Barnes or Putney where I had nice places to go running but still in London properly. OR a house in the Lake District and a flat on the Thames somewhere. However with a budget of about 400k max we are stuck where we are! Need to rob a bank.
Sorry, not much help but I’d say be wary of half-way-places which inevitably please no-one.

I'm a Londoner born and bred while DH grew up in a small village. From when we first met, he always made it clear that moving to somewhere rural was the medium term plan, so at least I knew what I was letting myself in for! We moved out to the sticks (commutable to London, but our house is surrounded by fields) 18 years ago when the kids were little, and I have to say I'm a convert. Sorry OP I know that doesn't help you!

Bath would be perfect -if you lived on the outskirts you could walk into the city or straight into beautiful countryside. Train to London around 1hr 20.