I have messed up on house buying!

[BeGreatGoose]

PLEASE DONT JUDGE AS I AM ALREADY PUNISHING MYSELF!
but i offered on a property and per brokers advise say i was chain free… my husband inherited a house with his siblings and is waiting for the sale to complete after being bought out my a family member but legally doesnt own the property according to the broker…
but when we shared our proof of funds on a property that is being sold by a housing company that bought it in an exchange scheme, they realised about the property and it’s not yet completed and told us they will have to go back to the sellers as they prefer to see funds in the bank. (I had a solicitors letter proving the funds)
i now realise my naivety and stupidly and worried they think I purposely misled them.
and yes! I am just that stupid 😭😭
it’s been a long year of search and having unsuccessful offers having never bought a house before.
i am awful at negotiating and often get told I overshare so I asked the broker for advice and she offered to do it for me but then told me what to say.
I struggle with anxiety and recently diagnosed ADHD.
i have yet to receive a phone call to see what this means for me…but whatever happens guess I won’t be viewing houses offering ever again. I give up.

Crikey, calm down. You didn't explain the whole saga of where the money is coming from, so there was a misunderstanding. Your potential seller, not unreasonably, currently refuses to regard you as a chain-free cash buyer, but you will be once the money from the sale of the family house comes through. So it's up to your seller if they want to proceed with you as a buyer at the moment, or if they'd rather not then you can review the situation once the funds are in place. That's literally it. You haven't done anything awful and you don't need to give up viewing houses ever again - that's just silly.

The process to complete and go through probate could be any length really, couldn't it?

You could be lucky or not.

What you are really gambling with is other people's money and mental health... For them to keep bank rolling the house and living with your uncertainty, only slowly realising it, when they could have sold to someone else who was telling the truth.

Having had this happen to us - it caused us so much stress. If we had known at the beginning we would and could have choosen someone else who was willing to pay more and was honest about time lines - so of course you have to weigh it up - how much is your honour worth to you? How prepared are you to screw someone over to get what you want? How prepared are you to lie if things don't go your way to string people along?

It was a mistake, now you know, just say and at least everyone knows where they stand. Your seller may be prepared to take the risk on you for a while. They should appreciate your honesty - even 3 days in, far better to admit a genuine mistake now - and if it doesn't work out now, they may come back to you later. My theory is there tends to be payback for doing the right thing - but having had this unfortunate experience, I am actually quite disillusioned with how entitled some people are, give an inch, take a mile, and the housing market absolutely let's them get away with it - the Scottish system seems much better.

The seller is a housing company. The house is vacant.
the probate was done over a year ago.
they are aware of the truth! I didn’t purposely mislead them.

I am not entitled! I just made a mistake because I’m new to everything and trusted to follow my brokers advice.

I am not saying YOU are entitled at all. You have made a genuine mistake and have a conscience and are anxious about it. That is all fair.

What have you signed so far that you are worried about?

Is it something that you could lose a deposit if unable to pay in time? If so, understand why you are anxious. There must be a cooling off period where you can change your mind. Best thing is to find out as quickly as possible.

My pp is the view of an individual home owner. Although the housing company will be somebody's business - perhaps a limited company, almost certainly backed by personal guarantee and cash flow the life blood. I am not thinking of the big building company's here, I am thinking of the owner run ones.

Or are you not legally tied in as yet and you really want the house and everything might work out and if it doesn't it is only a housing company (and I grant you, some of the big ones do make obscene profits for not always good quality workmanship), so what you'd really like to hear is no identifiable person to be hurt by it if the cashflow takes ages, so actually don't worry about it and crack on? Many people probably may take that view. And perhaps the company might be happy with your situation even if you did tell them as hopefully you aren't far from being a cash buyer.

All best with it. You sound a good person and I hope it works out for you.

@BeGreatGoose

Why are you ignoring the key question? On this thread you have claimed that you have the funds, but then also claimed that you’re waiting for the funds to come from a house sale. Which is it?
Do you have the funds, like you told your seller and estate agent? Or are you waiting for the funds so are actually part of a chain?

I haven’t ignored it. I have answered the question further up.

Thank you everyone who was polite and respectful. Your input is really helpful.
the company have decided to proceed with the sale though it’s still early days. It isn’t a new build!
It was at accepted offer stage so they could easily pull out without any detrimental effect to their finances.
once I realised I was honest and apologised for any inconvenience.
equally I do wish to buy the house but having never bought a house before I am learning and trying to listen to the professionals advising.

I'm glad it seems to be working out okay. Take a deep breath though - it's a long and often stressful journey so you will need a level head. Answer any questions asked as honestly and concisely as possible. When asking questions, be brief but specific. Conveyancers are very transactional. They deal in facts and not emotions. Over-sharing tends to be unhelpful in this game and you will need all your energy to get to the end. Good luck with your purchase.

is waiting for the sale to complete after being bought out my a family member

Why is this taking so long if probate was over a year ago? Does the family member have the funds to buy out the other beneficiaries? What needs to be done to complete the sale to the family member?

People on this forum repeatedly call themselves chain free when the money is dependant on them selling a property first- I wouldn't beat yourself up, OP.

I think a lot of the time the confusion lies with the phrase "cash buyer". Some wrongly assume if they don't need a mortgage this is indeed what they are, but obviously they're not unless the cash is sitting in their bank.

I know, I know in the op’s case I would describe her as being in a chain, but the confusion that people have about the basics of being a ‘cash buyer’ is bonkers.

if someone made an offer to me I would be seriously checking that they didn’t have to 1. Wait for probate 2. Wind up and sell a business 3. Win the lottery

I thought EAs were getting better at checking prospective buyers actual financial picture before taking their offers seriously? Or have these standards dropped now the market is much slower?

EAs can only go by how their questions are answered. They don’t have the right to ask for proof of money in the bank.

We only had to provide proof of funds ( & proof of where our deposit had come from) to our solicitor so they could check no money laundering had taken place, not to the EA.

Yes, but a seller can ask that the buyers position be verified by a third party (buyers broker/solicitor etc). If they think that's unreasonable then that would be a red flag for me personally.
I don't want to get into a chain with someone who is going to be precious about the fundamental question - can they actually afford my house and have they actually had a third party check this? For example so many people don't seem to understand the basics that you have to check with your current mortgage lender if you can port your mortgage etc.
I know buying/selling my main home is going to be extremely stressful for me anyway, I haven't got the bandwidth for bullshitters or idiots.
The op is doing the right thing fessing up early doors that they made a mistake and misunderstood their own position, but why didn't someone check for her because she's not alone in being clueless about this stuff?

I remember offering on a place many years ago which was to be my first purchase. The guy selling to me pulled out because he hadn't realised he was in a fixed period of a mortgage and therefore would incur fees (I think it was only £2k!) if he sold. So he pulled his place off the market after his solicitor pointed that out to him. Unbelievable that someone wastes so many people's time (the EA, the house viewers etc, and their own!) without checking the basics. I was upset at the time because I had geared myself up, but now I'm much more business like and would make sure someone professional/grown up was in charge and had checked all this stuff before hand.

It’s the role of the solicitor not the EA to verify funds @thislifer

Tbf, a lot of EAs tell the seller that they will verify prospective buyers' funds - or worse, tell them that they have. I got caught out like that with a supposed "cash buyer" who was only going to be a cash buyer once the funds from a BTL mortgage on another property came through. They misled the EA originally - but then the EA misled me.

A lot of EAs just want to be able to put a deal together, in the belief (perhaps justified, idk) that if things are more than x% advanced by the time the lies start coming out the deal will hold just long enough to get it over the line. Unfortunately, sometimes the lies are just too big, which is why EAs have such a bad name.