Page 2 | Starting to doubt house purchase is right

NeedSleepNow · 2025-03-09T19:55:58+00:00

I'm selling my home as I'm in the middle of a divorce. I've been looking for a new house for months for myself and my 3 children. Unfortunately prices are high here and I'm trying not to move too far away from the children's school/my work but have been struggling to find anything suitable. I found a house a few weeks ago that seemed a good match, the house is lovely but the garden is not to my taste at all (it is beautifully finished but is all hard landscaping & a small bit of astroturf, no real plants), it is a big compromise for me as I love gardening. I was getting desperate as I need to leave my current house this month (I can stay with family for a while inbetween) so put in an offer which after a few days was aceepted. Fast forward two weeks and I'm really starting to doubt my decision. The offer was the absolute top of my budget so I would have no money left, I'd actually have to borrow a bit from family to buy it. I think it's now that the plants are all starting to come out in my own garden and it looks so lovely that I'm worrying about looking out onto nothing but grey fences, patio, sheds etc. It would cost a lot to change and I would have no money to do it. I'm also a bit worried about the house layout, that it won't work that well for us. Would you go ahead with the purchase worrying you'll always hate the garden and that the house may not quite work for you? Or would you stick with it because of the fear that nothing better would come along? I'm naturally a people pleaser so hate the idea of pulling out and letting the seller down but know that this is the biggest purchase I'll ever make and need to make sure it is right for me and my children.

2025ishere · 11/03/2025 06:16

If you don’t want the summer house and it’s in good condition , people do sell them on eBay etc, you can say buyer dismantles, and some people prefer that because they can see the condition. Short term it might be useful for storage, I guess you need to be as clear as you can be that this was the best you could find at the time you were looking, Once we moved and it took a year for me to fully realise the garden was a good size for the area and what we paid.

AI says stud walls are about £100 to £150 per square metre so average £800 to £1000.

Partybaggage · 11/03/2025 06:19

The summer house could be very useful for creating the separate spaces you wanted. Could be a nice place for the kids to hang out.

Original poster

NeedSleepNow · 11/03/2025 06:35

2025ishere · 11/03/2025 06:16

If you don’t want the summer house and it’s in good condition , people do sell them on eBay etc, you can say buyer dismantles, and some people prefer that because they can see the condition. Short term it might be useful for storage, I guess you need to be as clear as you can be that this was the best you could find at the time you were looking, Once we moved and it took a year for me to fully realise the garden was a good size for the area and what we paid.

AI says stud walls are about £100 to £150 per square metre so average £800 to £1000.

I did think about selling the summer house. It's in very good condition, I think the kids would use it but it takes up a lot of space. Without it it would be easier to have a lawn and football goal for my youngest. My daughter loves the summer house though and is already dreaming of turning it into an art studio and my eldesy would like to have all his lego out there.

It has power and lighting so would be a bit of work to get all of the electrics removed etc if I did want to get rid of it.

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Original poster

NeedSleepNow · 11/03/2025 06:36

Partybaggage · 11/03/2025 06:19

The summer house could be very useful for creating the separate spaces you wanted. Could be a nice place for the kids to hang out.

I think my daughter in particular would love to use the summer house.

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rivalsbinge · 11/03/2025 06:43

NeedSleepNow · 09/03/2025 20:32

Thank you all for your replies. I think the problem is that I fell in love with a couple of other houses (but someone else outbid me slightly each time) with lovely gardens, in much nicer roads, better layout, more storage and I'm panicking a bit now incase I get such a big decision wrong.

I would move in with family and wait.. no way would I proceed with an expensive purchase i didn't at least like.

Girlmath · 11/03/2025 06:47

Garden aside I think you're making a mistake buying this house if it's at the top of your budget and you're going to have to borrow some money to buy it. I'm so sorry but I think that's a terrible idea. You're setting yourself up for financial stress and you will begin to resent the house, especially if unexpected costs crop up which they always do!

SalfordQuays · 11/03/2025 06:55

I would pull out of the sale. It’s already at the top end of your budget, and you’d need to spend lots of money to make it how you want it. If gardening is one of your hobbies, you’ll be miserable with a nasty concrete/astro monstrosity. I’d keep looking.

Original poster

NeedSleepNow · 11/03/2025 07:29

I do like the house, I thought it was lovely when I first viewed it I just don't love it like I have other houses I saw and missed. I feel I rushed to make an offer as anything good is selling almost immediately here at the moment and I'm worrying about having to stay with family for a long time in between moves. I think I might ask to go back to have a look at a couple of things and see how I feel after that. If I'm going to pull out I want to do it quickly

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Original poster

NeedSleepNow · 11/03/2025 07:32

SalfordQuays · 11/03/2025 06:55

I would pull out of the sale. It’s already at the top end of your budget, and you’d need to spend lots of money to make it how you want it. If gardening is one of your hobbies, you’ll be miserable with a nasty concrete/astro monstrosity. I’d keep looking.

It had been a hobby of mine although I don't have a lot of time for gardening at the moment unfortunately but I do love it when I find the time. I had hoped once I moved that I would have a bit more time once the children are at their Dad's every other weekend.

I love watching all the wildlife in my current garden I've worked really hard to get it to what it is. and the kids love being out there too.

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Partybaggage · 11/03/2025 07:32

NeedSleepNow · 11/03/2025 06:36

I think my daughter in particular would love to use the summer house.

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Is the house near any parks where your son can play football?

A summer house/art studio/lego room can't be replicated elsewhere but your son can take a football to any bit of grass.

I think you'll be able to make the garden into something that suits all of you. Take up the astro turf and half the slabs and what are you left with? Put some cheap pots around with some flowers in to cheer it up.

The house at least seems like it's future proofed - look ahead a couple of years and think about how you'll all be living in the house and using the space then. You'll be glad of the summer house when they're teens and they need their own space.

The thing is that with holding out for a perfect house, it might not happen. if you're already stretching yourself for this one and the perfect ones are going even higher maybe you just can't afford the ones that tick every box. And that's ok - there's always a compromise.

Original poster

NeedSleepNow · 11/03/2025 07:34

Girlmath · 11/03/2025 06:47

Garden aside I think you're making a mistake buying this house if it's at the top of your budget and you're going to have to borrow some money to buy it. I'm so sorry but I think that's a terrible idea. You're setting yourself up for financial stress and you will begin to resent the house, especially if unexpected costs crop up which they always do!

I would need to borrow around £5k from family and pay it back over two years. It's not a lot but would add extra financial pressure that I could do without.

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Original poster

NeedSleepNow · 11/03/2025 07:43

Partybaggage · 11/03/2025 07:32

Is the house near any parks where your son can play football?

A summer house/art studio/lego room can't be replicated elsewhere but your son can take a football to any bit of grass.

I think you'll be able to make the garden into something that suits all of you. Take up the astro turf and half the slabs and what are you left with? Put some cheap pots around with some flowers in to cheer it up.

The house at least seems like it's future proofed - look ahead a couple of years and think about how you'll all be living in the house and using the space then. You'll be glad of the summer house when they're teens and they need their own space.

The thing is that with holding out for a perfect house, it might not happen. if you're already stretching yourself for this one and the perfect ones are going even higher maybe you just can't afford the ones that tick every box. And that's ok - there's always a compromise.

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Unfortunately the other ones I had wanted to buy went just above my budget in the end and I do wonder will I find what I'm looking for even if I wait.

I drove past it again yesterday and it didn't fill me with much excitement going past. It's a very different road to the one I'm in now (lots of greenery where I am now but just concrete and cars at the new one). I worry I wouldn't feel happy to pull up on the drive there each day.

Maybe it's just the divorce and having to move that I'd struggle with this wherever I buy.

I also worry that if I wait and stay with family too long that my ex will be difficult and try to change the children's living arrangements so that they live with him more. At the moment they go every other weekend and he sees them once midweek too. It works well and I don't want to add any more change to the children's lives right now.

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