We just lost out on a house - heartbroken

[toastytop]

We had viewed the house a few times before deciding to put in an offer for the asking price. By this point another buyer was interested, made a higher offer over asking that we can’t match, vendor accepted their offer.

To say I’m heartbroken is an understatement! I probably got too emotionally invested too soon but it was perfect for us and could really see ourselves living in this house. We’re first time buyers so I didn’t realise how devastating this can be. The vendor promised to let us buy if it was to fall through.

So my question is: How often do purchases fall through? Should I just give up the idea of this house now? Is holding on to a little hope silly?

To add houses don’t often come up in my local area and we are staying here due to DC school.

If the OP had made an offer sooner then the house wouldn’t have been available for the higher offer.

Assuming the offer was accepted. And assuming that the other potential buyer didn’t request a viewing until well after the OP’s first viewing.

My point is, you never know when someone else might offer. It’s all very well telling the OP she faffed about for too long and that’s why she lost out, but even if she’d decided to put in an offer after one viewing, she could have called the agent an hour later and found out that someone else who’d seen it that morning had offered in the meantime. Or that the vendor had several viewings booked in for the next day and was waiting to see if there were any further offers.

Sounds like they have messaged the vendor direct but this is a good point - we have past experience of this.

We were the vendors and wanted to hold out for an asking price offer but EA convinced us that offer on table from a prospective buyer was best that we’d get so we accepted it.

By absolute chance a couple of days later I ended up in small talk with someone and the subject of buying/selling property came up. They said they’d found their dream home they were willing to pay asking price for, but EA had told them that there was a better offer on table.

And yes their “dream house” was OUR HOUSE! EA never told us about this couple who were willing to pay asking price. For whatever reason they were pushing this other prospective buyer onto us.

We stormed down to the EA together - they were suitably embarrassed (as they should be, it was clearly shady!).

We ended up selling to the chance encounter couple - they got their dream home, we got an extra £20k!

My best advice is what’s meant to be will be.

Please stop yourself from catastrophising like being heartbroken. Losing a house is disappointing and disheartening but getting so over emotional during the house hunting process will only hurt you in the long run.

And yes, we had people pull out two days before exchange, lost many houses we had offers accepted on and been through it all.

We had the same OP offered full asking and then someone else offered £20k more which we had no hope in matching. All the houses on the road are unique so we really thought we'd lost ever finding something close. At the time we were completely gutted (like you we were doing it for school reasons and it's a village so quite a niche area geographically).

We spent a bit of time mourning it and then couldn't believe it when a house came up on the same road 4 months later. It's been a doer upper (whereas the house we originally loved was completely modernised) but I have to say this has turned out to be the better choice as it's a space that suits our family more (much more child-friendly garden plus a double garage which is DH's dream).

Give yourself space to be disappointed, while also holding the idea that it's possible to feel the same way about somewhere else is my advice. 😊

Our house went to sealed bids and someone bid higher than us and we lost it. It then emerged that they wanted to apply for planning permission to turn it into flats, which the seller didn't want - so they dropped them and went with us! We were thrilled, but even if it doesn't happen for you, there will be another dream house with your name on it out there.

Many years ago as FTBs we viewed a property 3 times. It was in a slow market and the property has been on for quite a few months. We were reasonably confident it wouldn't get snapped up as it needed a lot of modernising. Because of the work needed, I wanted to get my mum to view it with me the 3rd time as she and my dad had moved several times and had lots of experience. We did get a ribbing from the owners during the 3rd viewing, but they were good humoured about it - probably just glad that they were going to get an offer.

It was a 'head' house rather than a 'heart' house though, so if we'd have missed out I wouldn't have lost too much sleep. Worth saying though that we now love the house and it's very much a home. So I'd say don't get too caught up in places that take your breath away on first sight. A home is made not bought. I always compare it to records - the ones that are immediately catchy tend to come and go; it's the albums where you have to put in some listening effort that you come to love and stay with you longest.

This time around, I only saw the house once before we offered. My partner went a second time with a friend to make sure as she was on the fence. We only did a 3rd visit after offer once we were quite far into the conveyancing process. That was more because we happened to be in the area for the weekend (we are moving to a different part of the country) and took the opportunity to do some measuring up and take additional photos for reference. The place we are buying has a video on the listing. It's amazing - I've used it hundreds of times since to remind myself what things look like.

Have you spoken to the vendor directly or is this all through the estate agents? I for one just don’t trust them, I’d put your offer in writing through the door.

Honestly, this is not good advice at all. An estate agent’s main goal is to get their commission. An asking price offer from a first time buyer (therefore no chain) is good news for them - there’s no incentive for them to invent a higher offer in the hope OP will increase hers to match. It’s too big a risk for minimal return. OP says the other offer is £4k higher. The average estate agent commission in the UK is 1.42%. An extra £4k is obviously great for the seller, but for the agent, it’s not even £60. Would you risk losing £3.5k commission in the hope of an extra sixty quid?

In any case, the vast majority of estate agents operating on a sole agent basis will have an exclusivity clause in their contract; usually for 12 weeks. This not only means a vendor cannot instruct a new agent in that time, but also that the agent can claim a fee even if a sale is agreed privately.

Thank you.

This place has gone a bit bonkers the last day or so - there always seems to be a poster that's trying to catch people out lately!

Probably the same person just name changing and signing up for loads of accounts!

Both of the houses we've owned have been ones where someone else's offer was accepted ahead of ours - one took six months to fall through, the other 2 weeks.

This was my first thought. I would take it as a sign that you would drag your feet and make it difficult.

when I bought my house it was all open house on a Saturday morning, viewing with multiple other prospective buyers and then best and final offers on a Monday morning.

you wouldn’t get anywhere near a second viewing so I can’t imagine having to have 3.

is just a case of you snooze you lose. I don’t believe you could have been that sold on it if you needed 3 viewings

I promise I’m not trying to catch you (or anyone) out! I did, however, confuse you with the poster who’d tried to say the vendor had accepted the OP’s offer when the higher one came in, so I’m sorry about that 🙂

Don't worry! 😊As I say, it's gone a bit odd in here (for me at least!) over the last couple of days, so I now assume the worst of people!

Sorry too to @toastytop - hopefully you can filter out all the off tangent posts for useful help and advice!

Thanks everyone. Feeling a lot better about it today and have been looking slightly further as feel like this search we’ll be just waiting around forever. It was only the 2nd house suitable and within price range that had come up in 8 months. It was on the market for 4 months and I suppose I was waiting to see if anything else came up in that time just in case, but nothing did.

To clarify about my offer by the time I had called to put an offer in I was told someone had put an offer in for over the asking price yesterday. So I missed out by 24 hours! I think that was what felt worse.

Onwards and upwards… but still holding a little hope hehe.

Something else will come along OP!

We are on the market at the moment. Someone has viewed that apparently loves the house but is busy for the next two weeks at least, so told the agent they will decide after that. DH and I had a laugh about it and what a different housing climate it is currently. When we were looking a couple of years ago, were competing with multiple people, there was one day of viewings resulting in multiple over asking price offers and then down to best and final offer. It was a nightmare. Never was there the opportunity to do a second viewing or wait a few weeks to think about it. One house we viewed and made an offer on the drive home 15 mins later, and still didn’t get it 😆 infact there were three houses we went £20k over asking and still didn’t get. It’s very different now, a buyers market definitely.

Fiver says the sale falls through!!!

@AlteredStater. Do you have evidence for this or is it just to make OP feel better.

Well they fall through on survey....but then you'd probably not want that house then either!

They fall through often on downvaluing by mortgage companies which is more likely in this market with someone who has offered over. However, their finances might allow them to overpay if they have a big deposit.

Then they fall through sometimes just because people are flaky.

There will be another house! Be pleased you didn't get caught in the rabbit trap of overpaying on your first house. Keep looking and try to enjoy the process.

OP, don't lose heart. Houses are like buses. There is always another one round the corner.

We lost out on so many houses on one street we called it the Boulevard of Broken Dreams. In the end (10 years later!) we bought somewhere else in the area and it is so perfect I have to pinch myself we are living here. And am glad the other offers fell through because in hindsight, the location was not ideal, as that was all we could afford then.

Our dream house was one where the original buyer fell through. We could not bid in the first round not having sold our house yet. But when we finally sold, the house came up again. Coming back on the market with a fatal flaw (that caused the first sale to fall through), we got it for a very competitive price as we were chain free.

I am not religious but when it comes to buying properties, it is god's will.

Lesson learnt, don’t dither next time. Best to get in there with an offer. If something better did then come up, you have the option to pull out.

You live and learn OP, but you really need to be more decisive. After a second viewing you need to put in an offer promptly to show that you are serious. No faffing about requesting a third viewing.

I might get flamed for saying this but making an offer on a property isn't actually a huge commitment, the seller might take a while to respond to the offer (as they might have other people viewing it and want to wait and see if they get other offers) and even if they do accept the offer, you can still withdraw later - it's not a great thing to do and you wouldn't be popular with the agents if you did it more than once, but you wouldn't be legally or financially tied in. You only start to be committed once you instruct a solicitor and spend money on a survey and searches. Even then, people can and do pull out at any point before exchanging contracts.

So if a better house did come along (unlikely if this was only one of two houses that had come up in 8 months?!) you could actually still have pulled out.

Keep viewing properties even if they don't tick every box and it might help you to feel more confident and decisive next time you see a property that's right for you.

If it's meant to be it might still happen.

Dh and I viewed the house we now live in before we had sold our old house. Both loved it but no point offering as not proceedable ourselves yet. Knew it would go quick and sure enough rightmove updated to stc within a week.
When we sold ours we put an offer in on another house that we both liked but both agreed that it wasn't as good as the house we missed out on. On a whim I contacted the estate agent who were selling it to see if they had anything else about to come to market on that street or area. By chance the chain had collapsed that morning and they were about to relist it. We got in for a second viewing before it was advertised, still loved it, and offered straight away which was accepted.
Did feel sorry for the people in the house we had to remove our offer from (it did sell quickly anyway) but this house was obviously meant to be for us. Love it and been here 4 years now.

If it's meant to be it might still happen.

It’s a nice idea, but as much as people like to think a certain house was meant for them in some way, property sales and purchases aren’t governed by the cosmos - any more than the universe decides whether M&S has got the coat you want in the right size.

OP didn’t lose the house because the gods of property have a better one waiting for her. She lost it because someone made a higher offer. I know the “It wasn’t meant to be” comments in these situations are meant kindly, but frankly I think they end up leading to more indecision further down the line.

Sort of

What people are saying is that there is another house out there for you (even though at the moment you think there isnt).

It maybe that this one will fall.through and come back on the market, although not the most likely situation- the most likely is you keep looking and find something as good if not better. Especially as a first time buyer where you have a bit more flexibility on timing.

Many people are testament to that. We certainly lost a house we had set our heart on as a chain collapsed and we ended up here - 30 years ago and a much better place.

We are not the only story like this.

I'm sure they now know that they have to react relatively quickly if they really want to secure somewhere. I'm of the opinion, despite the huge price tag, two visits are suffienct if its the right place. The first to literally fall in love with it and the second to look at it more sensibly! We've always offered after the first viewing though and gone with our heart.