Gifted deposit from 'father in law'

[Renthorrorshow]

Was hoping my partner could get a mortgage with the help of a lump sum from my dad in addition to my partner's savings but we have been told conflicting things.

I rang a bank mortgage helpline yesterday and the person I spoke to did a webchat with a manager and came back saying it would be fine as we live together and share a child so a father in law type relationship.

Partner rang same bank today to try and progress an application but when the same question was asked he was told no as we are not married and I would have to be on the mortgage.

Should we ask the question again at this bank (perhaps the second person was just wrong?), try a different bank, or was the first person wrong and actually this isn't allowed?

That's kind of him! Why aren't you on the mortgage? You need to make sure you are protected, a friend paid the deposit for her house, and the couple simply spoke to a solicitor to ensure the house was in divided fairly should they ever split. So she owns 10% extra than her partner, if they split it'll be sorted. If you never need it perfect but if you do it's there. Xxx

This is nuts. Get married or get on the mortgage. Why oh why would you do this to yourself. You should be asking why he’s ok with it too.

You need to go to a broker, they do the leg work for you based on your specific situation, far better than ringing around banks yourselves that may not be suitable

And as everyone else has said - you need various legal measures in place to protect everyone that is contributing, it can be done but absolutely should only be done with proper legal advice

Suppose you break up next year would you and your dad not mind your partner keeping the house and the money? If you would mind then don’t do it.

The only person who will benefit from this is your partner
deposit paid for HIS house That HE owns

Nice work if you can find people that stupid to fund it 😂😂😂

I really hope you take the advice of everyone here and do not do this. It is madness. How old are you? Some lenders take the term up to 75 now. The stamp duty is really a non-issue. If you bought before April it would be £0 anyway as you are buying a property below £200000. If you buy after April it would be £1500 for a property that costs £200000. (I am assuming you don't own any other property) I would say it is well worth £1500 to protect your share of the property. I don't know what percentage of the deposit is coming from your father, but if it is the majority is coming from your father as you are not married you should definitely consider owning the property as Tenants in common with you owning a larger share.

You should be on the mortgage @Renthorrorshow

I know you don’t think it matters but most people are relaxed about finances while the relationship is good. Relationships don’t always stay good however and that’s why it’s important for people - especially women - to protect themselves.

For the sake of saving a small amount of money re stamp duty for FTBs, you are giving away financial security.

See a mortgage broker they can tell you what types of mortgages are available from various different lenders.

The gifted money can be ringfenced on the mortgage to protect your contribution.

You should be listed on the deeds.

Do not go into this legal situation without FULL knowledge and it is healthy in a relationship to discuss the “what ifs” if it doesn’t work out.

Do not be railroaded into this.

You need to get an actual mortgage broker. They're the experts in the field, and will generally be able to get you a better deal.

Why aren't you married?

Also, my partner is older, and the initial term on our mortgage was 15 years. It meant the payments were double my rent, but it also meant much lower interest, so better financial prospects over the longer term. Can you definitely not manage the shorter mortgage term that lets you get your name on the mortgage and the deeds?

This why not do this

this is insane giving the money to someone without any charge etc put in place and no security for you if it were to go wrong

if you are not a ftb where is your property

Nooooooo. My god woman. The solution to your rent issue is not through creating a homeownership issue!!

@Renthorrorshow what have you decided? Everybody has given you very good advice on how to protect yourself financially. There are plenty of threads on here about the many women who've been scammed, cheated on & left homeless by men.

The information you’ve been given about the term is incorrect.

This

DH is fifteen years older than me, when we first bought (long before we got married) together the affordability was all done onnmy life/career. There was never any question that he would not be on the mortgage and the deeds.

Not sure why you would have different advice. I'd want to check this out directly with the mortgage provider with DP and you both participating in the conversation. Perhaps talk to a broker first to make sure you understand how to answer the questions.

Even if you are currently 'wasting' money on rest, it makes no sense for your family to pay for your DP to buy a house to which you would have no security of access.

Imagine the scenarios. He finds someone new, you have to leave and he moves someone else in. Just knowing that would be possible changes your relationship and not for the better.

Sorry. Better get it sorted now than later.

I'm sure you're convinced your guy is a good guy, but you only need to spend 5 mins on here to see how many women have been fucked over financially by thinking the same.
Your current plan could see your partner complete on the new house and then tell you the same day that you aren't coming with him and you're homeless as he fucks off with your dad's money.
It is an insane plan!!!! That money needs to come to you as your part of the deposit, that sees you correctly included on the deeds and mortgage. You get a lawyer to draw up paperwork so your part of the deposit is protected, as it whatever your partner is bringing re deposit and mortgage payments.
You have a chance here to not be one of those poor women 10 years down the line who gets dumped and then realises they have zero financial claim on the property and nowhere to live - please take it.

You must be mad. You have zero protection and could end up with nothing!

Update:
Application in both names now and survey booked for Monday

Thank you everyone for your input. On reflection I think I was mainly trying to protect my own ability to walk away due to a home ownership nightmare in the 90s. (Ex refusing for years to leave jointly owned property after we split. I ended up having to pay all the mortgage and go to court to stop repossession whilst living in a different city hours away. He then disappeared so trying to get it sold dragged on and on with £££ spent on solicitors. Eventually sold in 1997 with only enough equity to cover the bills but I can see on Rightmove sold prices that the buyers had doubled their money when they then sold it in 2001!)

This was all driven by my anxieties and not DP trying to trick me out of vast sums of my dad's money ('only' £8k not the amounts I think some posters are assuming based on my brother's shenanigans that I think I have also posted about under this username!). DP is much happier to have me on the deeds and isn't fazed by the higher monthly payments due to shorter term as he wants to try and get it paid off as soon as possible anyway.

Very grateful for the sanity check and fingers crossed for the survey 🙏

This is ridiculously naive.

Why doesn’t your dad gift you the money, that’s your portion of the deposit and your partners is his?

Can you really not apply for a joint mortgage if you’re not married? I’d see a broker, I’ve known friends to get joint mortgages, I think you need to explore more options than just your bank.

Edit - just seen your update, glad you’ve reconsidered and hopefully found a solution.