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Original poster

Should I put a note through the door of the house I want to buy?

263 replies

Fourthmusketeer · 09/01/2025 20:34

Is this a weird thing to do?

Our house isn't actually on the market yet, as we don't want to do that until we find another house we like. They so rarely come up - I've been looking for a year now and just nothing is quite suitable. But, there's a house I've loved for years. I just love everything about it. It's the perfect location, great size, perfect layout for us (DH is quite particular). It's a beautiful house. Once I'd looked it up on Rightmove I fell in love with it even more.

The current owners bought the house in 2021, so it's probably unlikely they'd be looking to sell. But, you never know?

Is it weird to put a note through their door to find out? Do I keep it fairly simple? So...don't let on how much I love their house and how I've admired it for years? 🤣😬

There is of course a chance they contact us off the back of the note, allow us to view their property, and then once we actually see it we decide it's not what we thought. That feels really awkward...having contacted them to begin with 🫣

I'm not sure how much it would be worth now. It was close to the top of our price range back in 2021, but I'm not sure whether COVID skewed values somewhat?

Thanks!

OP posts:
visualfeast · 14/01/2025 10:28

This is actually how my parents sold their house – neighbours sent a letter saying how much they loved the house and they would love to buy if my parents ever decided to sell. When my parents did decide to sell (it was a few years later if I remember right) they got back in touch with the neighbours and they bought the house (although my parents did get a very good price for the house as the ball was entirely in their court so that's something to keep in mind!)

dynamiccactus · 14/01/2025 10:32

Doris86 · 09/01/2025 21:00

It could be sugggested that putting your house on the market, before knowing if there was any chance the one you wanted might be available, is a bit backwards.

No harmin putting a note through the door. Most likely they have no plans to sell and will file it in the bin. Small chance they might be thinking about selling anyway, and will contact the OP to save estate agent fees. Either way nothing lost.

Show quote history

I agree. If you don't ask you don't get.

Bleachbum · 14/01/2025 10:34

I live in a tiny catchment of 2 ofsted outstanding primary schools and get notes like these through relatively regularly. I just pop them in the bin, I don’t find it weird.

But I agree with PP’s. You need to get your house on the market first. If I did want to sell I wouldn’t waste my time showing someone my house when there’s wasn’t even on the market.

Drfosters · 14/01/2025 10:36

Surely you just say on the note your circumstances that you love their house and if they ever decide to sell you would love them to give you a call first before they list it.

Hollietree · 14/01/2025 10:40

A friend of mine wanted to upsize to a bigger house in our village. There was a house she’d always loved the look of and did exactly as you are thinking about - she wrote them a letter asking if they would be selling in the near future and gave her contact details. They got in touch to say yes they were hoping to downsize within the village in the next year or two. I can’t believe this actually happened, but this is 100% a true story - they came to look at her smaller house, liked it……. and they went on to buy each others houses! Are now friends after.

Go for it, you have nothing to lose.

Bunnycat101 · 14/01/2025 10:41

We sold on the back of a letter. It was from an estate agent but they had a buyer lined up and offered a reduced fee if we wanted to persue. We were planning to list about 6 months later but hadn’t got round to it so we ended up selling without having to deal with Rightmove, multiple viewings etc. You never know what people are thinking so doesn’t hurt to ask.

Blondiebeachbabe · 14/01/2025 10:41

Nourishinghandcream · 09/01/2025 21:13

I have posted about this before.
Happened to my parents house.

A young couple lived just up the road from my parents but to the best of my knowledge they did not know my parents at all.
They put a (very polite) letter through the door asking to buy the house as they had always loved the huge garden with uninterrupted views across the countryside (something their otherwise very similar house did not have).
The trouble is they did this just after the death of my parents when the house became unoccupied, whether they did this by (bad) luck or design I do not know.
Needless to say it felt too much like circling vultures at a very raw time so when the house was eventually sold, their B&F offer did not succeed (despite being the highest).

Tread carefully.

How ridiculous!

nationalsausagefund · 14/01/2025 10:47

MoonHavana · 14/01/2025 10:07

You are harassing them if you put a note through their letter box. I would feel very vulnerable if someone came after me like that. It is intrusive and predatorial. I would probably even get a solicitor to tell you to back off.

This is a wild take. It’s a piece of hand-mailed post, not a velociraptor.

Trixiefirecracker · 14/01/2025 10:48

MoonHavana · 14/01/2025 10:07

You are harassing them if you put a note through their letter box. I would feel very vulnerable if someone came after me like that. It is intrusive and predatorial. I would probably even get a solicitor to tell you to back off.

Only on Mumsnet. 🙄

MoodEnhancer · 14/01/2025 10:49

I don’t think there is anything wrong or creepy with a note through the door. As long as it doesn’t say anything intense or weird, of course. A quick “I have seen your house and think it must be a lovely family home. If you ever think of selling, we would be interested in the property so it would be lovely if you could call me before you list it to see if my family and I can buy it. No pressure to respond to this note of course!”

IAmNeverThePerson · 14/01/2025 10:51

We’ve had it a few times. I’ve never minded (and been quite flattered). Please put it in an envelope though. They used to freak DS1 out when he was little.

MoodEnhancer · 14/01/2025 10:52

MoonHavana · 14/01/2025 10:07

You are harassing them if you put a note through their letter box. I would feel very vulnerable if someone came after me like that. It is intrusive and predatorial. I would probably even get a solicitor to tell you to back off.

This is bonkers! And any solicitor worth their salt would laugh you out of their office. It absolutely is not harassment.

KarmenPQZ · 14/01/2025 10:53

We quite regularly get notes through from people who want to move onto our street. Never freaks me out but I’m not moving anytime soon. A know a neighbour who sold this way though and now know the new neighbours who moved in. Not weird at all and also doesn’t necessarily commit you to buy if they come up with a figure that’s beyond your budget.

ThatRareUmberJoker · 14/01/2025 10:55

MyDeepZebra · 09/01/2025 20:58

People have done this to me. I always find it quite upsetting/creepy to know someone has been eyeing up and wants my house, that I'm happy and settled in. If I wanted to sell, my house would be on the market.

I was especially freaked out when a child I taught approached me after a parents' evening and said "my Mummy and Daddy wanted to buy your house when I was in her tummy and you wouldn't let them have it and you made her cry because it was her dream house!"

All I'd done was ignore a couple of letters about 8 years before!

I think it's especially cheeky if you don't have a buyer for yours, sorry.

They sound very creepy how did the boy look with his creepy parents?

SnidelyWhiplash · 14/01/2025 10:56

We live in a pretty house (sort of place people photograph) and get a few of these a year. It does no harm.

Winterskyfall · 14/01/2025 10:58

My BIL bought his home and moved in, a couple of months later someone contacted him, they had wanted to buy his place but they weren't able to get a mortgage in time, they offered him 20K over what he had paid to sell the place to him and he did it. It's always worth asking.

DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe · 14/01/2025 10:59

Just say you really like the area, and are looking for a property, so wondering if they are considering selling in the near future.

That's still a bit weird, though, assuming that it's somewhere with an estate agent and/or properties for sale on Rightmove - unless it's a hamlet with literally only two or three houses there.

It's a bit like standing outside Boots and stopping passers-by to ask them if they can tell you where you could buy some shampoo!

faffadoodledo · 14/01/2025 11:00

We've used the services of a property search specialist, and they often write a lovely letter to an owner and ask.
It used to happen to us in the street we lived in in London. I was always immensely flattered!

Winterskyfall · 14/01/2025 11:00

MoonHavana · 14/01/2025 10:07

You are harassing them if you put a note through their letter box. I would feel very vulnerable if someone came after me like that. It is intrusive and predatorial. I would probably even get a solicitor to tell you to back off.

You are an actual crazy person. It's not against the law to pop a note through a letterbox. OP, don't listen to this person.

tolerable · 14/01/2025 11:02

no cheek no chance.worst case-no response.go for it

LittleBigHead · 14/01/2025 11:03

Is it weird to put a note through their door to find out?

Yes, it's weird. If the house isn't on the market, it's really intrusive if you expect any kind of response.

OTOH, if I were the owner and knew what you've said in your first post @Fourthmusketeer I'd be rubbing my hands at the 20% extra I'd be asking & expecting if I sold to you.

faffadoodledo · 14/01/2025 11:03

MoonHavana · 14/01/2025 10:07

You are harassing them if you put a note through their letter box. I would feel very vulnerable if someone came after me like that. It is intrusive and predatorial. I would probably even get a solicitor to tell you to back off.

Are you one of the Mumsnetters who won't open their front door to anyone unless they have a prior appointment?

It absolutely isn't harassment to drop a nice note through someone's door.

Summerbod25 · 14/01/2025 11:10

MyDeepZebra · 09/01/2025 21:02

She was odd.

I jokingly mentioned it afterwards and she seriously responded, "well, we're over it now but it was very upsetting at the time as we'd had our hearts set on it."

I honestly didn't know how to respond.

Edited
Show quote history

What a nut job 😂

honestly, I’d find the whole note through door thing a bit off-putting. It would make me want to put a ring camera up to make sure someone wasn’t stalking my house

I’ve never heard of anyone doing this where I am (Ireland)

Ihatemondays1962 · 14/01/2025 11:11

I did this about 5 years ago. They said no at the time but the property later went to a closing date (I am in Scotland) and they accepted my offer, even although it wasn't the highest, as they remembered my note!

DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe · 14/01/2025 11:12

It's sad that some people on this thread are laughing off and trivialising the suggestion that some people might be upset to be targeted in this way.

True, it wouldn't technically count as harassment if it is just one letter, but plenty of people feel very vulnerable in the world and their home is the one place where they feel safe. If they feel that somebody is hoping to take their home from them - however politely they enquire - that can be upsetting for them.

If you're fortunate enough to be in a position where you wouldn't be bothered to receive a letter like this, that's great; but do remember that other people - especially if they are elderly and their next 'move' is clearly not going to be one they're sentient for - may not be in quite such a privileged place.

It's not quite the same thing, but how would you feel if another woman approached your DH, saying she's always fancied him and told him to get straight in touch with her should you die? She (hopefully) wouldn't dream of trying anything on whilst you're still alive, but afterwards... well, she has nothing to lose in making her interest known, does she? Not the best analogy, maybe; but this is loosely similar in how it could potentially make some elderly and/or vulnerable folk feel.