I hate where we’ve moved

[IHate]

Finally bit the bullet last year and moved out of central London. Young family, needed more space/garden/access to decent schools/the usual.

Bought in Sutton. Our research made it seem we were buying in a ‘nice bit’, we got a decent house (£625K, as wanted to make the most of being first time buyers re stamp duty), lots of green spaces, the nearby primaries are good and the grammars look great.

We hate it, though. There’s no sense of community. Everything is a bit downmarket. It’s not diverse. There’s no ‘vibe’. I really don’t want my kids growing up here.

We really want to decamp somewhere. We love Wimbledon, but can’t afford anything decent there. And all the places further outside London might have the same issues we’re experiencing here. Also, we just bought, it was a super expensive process, and we’ve spent about £50K doing up the house. Moving again would be madness, right?

What would you do?

Cheam Village.

We can currently afford a small terrace in Wimbledon, but it would be considerably less nice than our current place. For oodles more money.

That’s another thing, actually. Having done the work, it’s now actually a very nice house.

We’re in Cheam. The village/high street is teeny tiny, but quite cute.

We moved to Epsom/Stoneleigh from SW London and I hated it...we moved again after 2 years because I just never found my tribe despite trying every NCT/ toddler/play/music etc group I could find.

Life is too short to be unhappy...we.moved to Tunbridge Wells (needed good schools, reasonable commute and a sense of community) and have happily been here for 17 or so years.

We’re in Cheam. And, thank you, that’s all great advice.

I really think this might be us. The general vibe around here (and Ewell/Epsom, etc) isn’t mine. I don’t think my tribe lives here.

However, I take everyone else’s points re giving things more time and trying to get into things. Also, moving again and getting it wrong would be another expensive mistake. 🙁

I felt the same when we moved from Zone 1 to Zone 5 25 years ago. It's so hard to know until you live there, and on paper the house we bought was perfect. Sadly the area just didn't gel for me and I couldn't settle - I was always looking over my shoulder at areas which had more of the things I'd been used to in central London. We were lucky with house prices though - we did the house up and made enough profit to buy an absolutely disgusting wreck 3 years later in our preferred area. It was a gamble, and we essentially lived in a building site with small dc for several years, but we were young and brave....Probably a bit galling to hear now as house prices and building costs are against you these days, but I do get it.

Sympathies, it is really tough. Having been an 'army brat' I thought I could fit in anywhere and honestly tried everything I could. It just wasn't for us and when I started school visits, I just knew that it wasn't right for us. There were two other families at the nursery we used who we eventually met and we all moved away very quickly....if you aren't happy, maybe rent somewhere new first? It's horrible to be unhappy and sometimes giving it more time isn't the answer.....

Can you get your local Councillors to send out emailed newsletters re. what is going on in your area - where I am in London both Labour and Tory Councillors send out email newsletters saying what they have done locally - even small things like rubbish left on certain road, bikes in wrong place and ''can they help you?'', ''what do you think?'' , Xmas local lights invitation etc - that all helps with community ''feel''.

I went to school in Cheam. I can never quite make up my mind on it! Partly I would love to live there, there are some beautiful streets, good parks, I like the idea of joining David Lloyd and swimming in the outdoor pool regularly. On the other hand I find the Cheam crossroads a bit spoilt by the busy roads and it's quite a small centre, which makes it feel a bit more 'commuter belt' and less of a destination by itself. (This is not necessarily a bad thing, and it's an 'upgrade' on where we live.)

As I said before, I do think you build a community through the services you use, and that is likely to improve once you use local schools. There are some local events (Feasty Fest, Park Run, a Christmas event in the village (annoyingly on a Fri eve when I was at work)) but maybe not loads on your doorstep in a 'village community' way. There are quite a few local Facebook groups that list local events. Personally I quite like the fact that we regularly see people we know when out and about, but we are not right on top of each other and can visit different places, but I can see the benefits to more of a community focal point.

I would move if you aren’t happy.
I moved 1 year ago and there is no community feel here whatsoever compared to my last town but for now we are stuck.

Leason learnt for me - Don’t move just because I love a house.

I’d move now before the kids start school- what is your budget for buying? How many bedrooms do you need?

Now you’ve said you’re in Cheam Village which is definitely the nicest bit it’s more difficult to offer advice. Yes you can no doubt get a small terrace in the not so nice bits of Wimbledon for lots more money but is it worth the trade off? Would you then be hankering for the nicer side of Wimbledon that’s more out of reach?

I was thinking you were central Sutton. But again zone 1 to little Cheam Village is a world apart.

Is Earlsfield, Streatham affordable but you would need another £300 to £400k to
get the same house match. I would take a look at Beckenham and the surrounding areas.

@IHate interesting you say Cheam Village. A friend as mentioned lives there & loves it (her dc are in school) but out of the places I mentioned in Sutton I know it’s my least favourite. It’s moneyed & has beautiful housing stock but it feels very removed from what I am used too. Great schools though!

Tbh I think going from Z1 will always be difficult & you often find those communities are quite transient.

I really think this might be us. The general vibe around here (and Ewell/Epsom, etc) isn’t mine. I don’t think my tribe lives here.

You probably should have moved Kingston side but I also think community is very street specific & quite hard to pinpoint.

Is Earlsfield, Streatham affordable but you would need another £300 to £400k to get the same house match

Schools are the issue though & having family in Streatham the expensive parts are nice but other bits aren’t.

I moved out of London and spent 6 years there. Moved back. I knew pretty soon that it wasn't for me, and although I did make lots of friends, I wish I'd moved back sooner because I lost out due to the property prices rising quicker in London than where I was.

For me I preferred to forgo the big house and garden in order to be back in London. OP it sounds as though you can afford a smaller house in Wimbledon, so you have to decide whether the bigger house is worth it or not

Sutton is grim and pretty down at heel.

i personally wouldn’t wait 5 years to move; what’s the point putting down roots somewhere you’re ultimately not going to invest in? Especially if your income has suddenly dramatically increased; I’d take the financial hit of buying so recently and just cut my losses and look elsewhere,

but maybe rent for a bit so you don’t make the same mistake again?

We moved out of Zone 2 to Worcester Park/Stoneleigh and never settled despite doing NCT etc. Moved a few years later to north Kingston (smaller house) and we are much happier. I wish we hadn’t waited as long as we did to move honestly.

Location every time! Would always take smaller house and better location.

Move to a flat in Wimbledon... Mediocrity is contagious and I wouldn't want to raise kids in such an environment. Flats are cheap as chips and with the end of the remote era the valuation gap should be more limited going forward.

I understand what you mean @IHate - I have recently moved as a single person to a village in another area and within a month I already feel the community spirit

I also moved to Twickenham for awhile and absolutely loved the community feel there - incidentally if you would like to buy a two bedroom house in twickenham I could help you with that🤣

But no seriously I think you can feel the vibe and community in a place quite quickly. I definitely have hair even moving over the Christmas period

I don't know many other places down there to suggest, but I'm sure somebody will have come along that does

If you're earning £230,000 a year just move! What's the point in earning that sort of money to live somewhere you don't like? 🤔

And you had previously found a sense of community in central London? Ethnicity specific?

Stuff in your first paragraph is why we thought it was a good choice!

We found Feasty Fest and the Christmas ‘Fayre’ disappointing, tbh. But will try to dig deeper.