Had enough of this house and want to move on

[WhichOneIsPosher]

We moved in here almost a year ago but I'm just about done with this place. On paper it gave us just about everything we needed - an extra bedroom as we had two DCs of opposite sex sharing a bedroom for years, private parking and a lot less stairs up to the front door (last house had 26 of them).

However since the day we moved in it's been nothing but problems. Numerous water leaks, expensive repairs and a major structural issue that wasn't highlighted in the HR. We drained our savings sorting these issues then had to borrow money to fix other things that cropped up.

We spent 18 months from putting our last house on the market to moving in here due to various problems and lost out on six other houses. Neither of us loved this house but we liked it well enough at the very start as it mostly fit the bill but all the joy has been taken out of it and I started to dislike this place after about a month of being here. I've been lucky to have fairly robust MH but this has been a challenge and I've developed anxiety issues due to it all. We've just spent 2k replacing part of the bathroom because of the way it was fitted by a previous owner and I'm done now.

DH does still like this place and he was upset when he realised my feelings on this place and would be willing to move if needs be. If you were me what would you do? I just see this place as a soul-sucking money pit now and I'm doubtful about ever coming back mentally from everything that's happened.

Just move, life is too short to be living in a house you don't really like....

I'd move.
We spent nearly 20k and a year doing up our bathroom then I realised how much I HATED living there.
Very long story short, we sold, now in rental, about to complete on a house I LOVE.
I'm so happy. (Hoping it all works out!)
MOVE!

I know you're right. At one point I was getting through by viewing this house as a financial investment (downsize when the first DC leaves and use the excess cash to fund partial retirement and travelling) but I just don't think I can do it anymore

I wish you the best of luck in your new home, it's kinda soul destroying investing cash into somewhere you borderline despise

We moved 2 yrs ago, spent 40k on the house 12 months later I decided I didn't like the road the house was in, so after a while, we put the house on the market. Received an offer, and hoping to move in the new year. Because of the housing market we won't get back what we paid for it and the next house needs the same again spending on it. But it's in the right location, so I'll be happier. If you are unhappy with the house now, you always will be. Good luck, hope it works out for you.

Thanks and good luck to you in your new house

I'd stay another year as you may have got to the bottom of the trauma - your feelings will change when things settle down

And if you move you might end up back in the thick of it again

Thank you. Remarkably I feel like I've let go of everything to do with the old house and I am entirely focused on looking forward to the new house. It's been quite a journey with loads of twists.
I really encourage you to think of moving. I'm so excited to think of being in a house that I really like and enjoy and can be creative with.
Best of luck @WhichOneIsPosher .

You need to get a piece of paper draw a line down it and on one side write out all the positives about the house and on the other side write All the negatives.
Then work out how much it would cost to move and decide if those negatives worth the 10 grand it cost you to move house

The only issue is the next house could also be a money pit, sometimes it's better the devil you know

All houses are money pits really and take time to sort. Would money fix the issues there, or is it location/aspect etc that will never be right?

What do you dislike about it, apart from fixes having cost you money? Could it ever work?

Tbh it's in a great location, neighbours are fine too. But I developed anxiety issues I never had before over a house that I didn't really love, it never helped either that I was already under stress with unrelated issues when the move happened.
Add in that this move only happened due to an inheritance I received from my DF and feeling upset that I invested the cash he left me into a turkey of a house

Be good to hear how you get on if you decide to sell @WhichOneIsPosher . I’m in similar position - bought hugely unsuitable house with inheritance eight months ago and trying to sell with zero success - plus take hit of heart breaking 10% loss. Lots of unseen maintenance issues, the horrors of a shared driveway plus (IMO) a messy, unpleasant neighbour. I think such a quick sale is understandably raising flags - considering an auction but apparently my loss would be greater; I’m also not sure how much demand there is for urban family homes at auction as opposed to investment/development properties.

We spent a lot of money doing our house up, including adding a bathroom and building an extension. Plus various repairs from new boiler to guttering due to leaks.
When we looked at moving all we could see was the work and potential pitfalls (as with current house) of the new place. We decided to stay put ... better the devil you know.

And as we fixed a lot of issues in the early years, we know what has been done and have less issues now.... most things need doing once or twice during your time there, so if it is fixed, it's a bit less to worry about!

I agree with pp about making a pros and cons list. Your husband likes the house. What about your children? Is their school good?

I think you need to ask yourself how much of this is your anxiety and the other issues you mention? I grew up with a mother who always thought a new house/city would make her happy, but she always took herself with her and it was unsettling for me and my siblings.

If there are structural issues not mentioned in the home report, do you have legal recompense there? Because highlighting what's wrong with the house, is kind of the point of it!

Depends. If you like the place apart from the expenses you have incurred it may be better to stick. It's the luck of the draw- lots of properties are money pits and it may be that the worst is over. However, I hated our last house despite it being a good fit on paper. Moving after two years despite losing money after expenses etc was the best decision I ever made!

I think I’d wait it out.

What you’ve experienced doesn’t seem that bad, it sounds more like you might still be dealing with grief. As others have said, there’s nothing to say that the next house won’t have issues too. Plus if you’ve got good neighbours that’s like winning the lottery whatever the house is like.

Depends on your area but you may well also lose money whereas if you wait a bit longer you may not.

It doesn’t sound like the house is a turkey though. It sounds like the house has become a focus for your anxiety issues so I’m not sure moving is the answer. It’s normal for a new house to cost money as you uncover issues. Personally, I would try to stick it out at least a few more months in the hope that you can bond with the house in time as you’ve been there less than a year.

If you have great neighbours and a nice street I would think carefully about why you want to move. These things aren’t guaranteed even if you find your dream home!

I never had anxiety issues prior to this house move. I'd say I've been lucky to have fairly robust MH but this place has been a massive test of that. All we wanted was to move somewhere in move-in condition with more space for our family, not to take on a project that would cost us £££.

The structural issue nor anything related to it weren't mentioned in the HR. The structural engineer who came out said he felt it should have been mentioned and he gave me a supporting letter which I plan to pass on to the Surveyor when I make a complaint.

I have to say the one thing that really annoys me about buying houses (we moved in the summer) is the fact one has very little time to view the house properly and inspect it thoroughly before buying.

We paid for a survey and it wasn’t as thorough as I would have liked it, it covered off the structural aspects, but there have been so many other small to medium things we’ve found that we need to spend money on because they’ve either been left for years or because the previous people bodged something. None of this was picked up on the survey even though we paid for a level 3.

The problem is when one buys a house they are buying the house’s radiators, shower, oven, TV aerial, paving, plumbing, fencing etc etc. and they have no idea whether all that stuff is in working order or how well it works at all.

It really does leave a bitter taste to have to spend money and time sorting unexpected things that should have been sorted by the previous people. So annoying and it sort of takes over life a bit. Is this a big reason why you don’t like the house so much anymore?

Is there much more still to do?

We saw an immaculate fairly new, move straight into and do no maintenance for years house the same weekend as we saw the one we bought which needs loads doing do it, but the other house was on a new build estate with road noise. The reason we bought this one was the location and position. There are times when I think if we had bought the other we could be out enjoying life right now rather than sorting the house but in the long term a good location is always the best thing and the best investment.

You can change layouts, bathrooms, kitchens, decor but you can never move a house. That’s why I think a money pit is not a bad investment, spending a lot on an immaculate house that will loose value over time because of its location is a much worse investment.

In other words I think you’ve used your inheritance very wisely and you’ve added to it by adding value to the house.

But you haven’t listed anything that bad with the house? All houses need maintenance work and also throw up problems from time to time that take money to fix. To spend 2k fixing a bathroom issue is not excessive & your husband seems to want to stay there.

On the other hand you have mentioned a parent dying which enabled you to buy the house and that you were already under stress with issues unrelated to the house when you bought it. These things could be clouding your judgement.

If you are determined to move because you don’t like the house then so be it. But a bit pointless to ask for others opinions if you’re already made up your mind.

The pros and cons list is a good idea. It takes a while to settle in sometimes. And your feelings are possibly also tied up with how you came into the money.
If you knew that you were over the hump in terms of maintenance would you be able to settle down?
How was Christmas in this house? How are your kids settled into their rooms?

You mentioned you missed out on six houses before this move, which must have been hellish. Plus presumably dealing with probate issues related to your inheritance and grieving the loss of your dad. That’s a heck of a lot.

Have to say I agree with a PP that the house has become the bad guy in this and I would consider recognising that before doing anything drastic and re entering the hell of buying/selling with your MH already suffering.

But also as the PP said, it seems you’re not feeling suggestions to embrace it and give it some time. At the end of the day, you have to do what’s right for you, as long as it’s what’s right for all of you. I think there’s always a risk of transporting the problem, rather than fixing it, if your judgment is potentially skewed. I hope your DH also recognises that when supporting you - path of least resistance and all that.

Best of luck whichever way you go, OP.