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Single living - flat vs. house?

43 replies

justfindingmyway · 06/12/2024 10:10

Hi lovely people,

I am after some wisdom and lived experience if possible. Hope this is the right place for it as realise this thread is also about DIY, so might be more of a budgeting question.

Recently called off my engagement to an abusive man and now starting over at 34. Going back to parents from the house we share together for a little respite and time to save more, but now also thinking about the future and my own space (and my poor parents sanity at having me back home again!).

I am unsure whether to go for a flat or a house. I am thinking both about my own happiness and wants/needs, as well as the future i.e. a good investment property that I'll hopefully make a little money on or be able to rent it out easily enough.

If money were no object, I would probably want a house, however, it definitely IS a strong consideration for me. I don't know whether to stretch myself a little more to get a house, or stick with a flat? Flats where I am are very pricey (approx 300-350k for a 2 bed) and houses are out of the question unless I move a little further out (around 20 min drive).

For context, I have a deposit of 130k.

I've never lived alone and am finding it all pretty overwhelming. Any pearls of wisdom/thoughts/ideas would be most appreciated.

Thank you :)

OP posts:
Doris86 · 06/12/2024 10:33

House every time if you can remotely afford it. You never really own a flat as you have a lease, and are beholden to the freeholder and managing agent.

After years of being ripped off by management fees, ground rent, and major works invoices I’d never buy a flat again.

LilyBartsHatShop · 06/12/2024 10:37

I was going to say, If you don't love gadening then go for a flat.
But it's true, you are completely at the mercy of the culture in your body corporate. They can be awful, full of petty tyrants.
I guess I'd say if you had a magic wand and could guarantee a friendly BC then flat would be best for living alone. Unless you want to garden! But I find managing a yard on my own very disheartening and home doesn't feel like home if the garden looks dishevelled.

healthybychristmas · 06/12/2024 10:39

I'm older but in the same position where I actually want to live in an apartment but I can't stand the thought of the management fees. In your position I would definitely get a house if I could.

minipie · 06/12/2024 10:54

I agree leasehold is a pain. But being in the right location for you will be very important and I think you might feel isolated if you move far out just in order to get a house. Personally I’d go for a flat in the preferred location, but try to get one with outside space for longevity.

Share of freehold flat is a good solution if you can find one. This is more common in converted houses where it’s just a couple of flats in the building.

Also remember even if you are leasehold, there is the right to manage if a certain % of leaseholders get together and want to take over the management (but of course you’d have to persuade some/all your fellow flat owners to agree).

peutrant · 06/12/2024 10:54

I think most people would prefer a flat over a house as you get more say over what is done with the building, have the potential to add value through extensions, fewer issues with neighbours and no service charges. But for me, I like living more centrally so the question would be framed more like living centrally near amenities (and only being able to afford a flat), vs living further away (where I could buy a house). So it depends on your lifestyle. When I was single and had no kids, I was out most nights and life was very easy being able to pop out to get anything. I had a lot of hobbies and social networks that I wouldn't have bothered with, if I had to trek into town every time.
If you are at home most evenings and weekends and wouldn't make use of all the things nearby, and don't mind driving any time you needed to get something, then a house further out would be fine.

Nourishinghandcream · 06/12/2024 10:59

When I was single several of my friends were buying flats or one-bedroom starter homes.
I on the other hand wanted a bit more space and was willing to move further away to accomplish this so I ended up with a three bedroomed house for similar money.
Definitely the right decision as I had ample space, a garden and driveway.

Zov · 06/12/2024 11:02

Flat is OK to rent, but I would never buy one. For many different reasons. People above you, people below, people both sides, having to drag stuff up steps/stairs, (or use a lift that may not always be working, or could get stuck!) no garden (or a shared one,) and you can often be responsible for the repairs to the building (like the roof.) All sorts of caveats and downsides into buying a flat.

Definitely buy a house @justfindingmyway

JMO.

Spectre8 · 06/12/2024 11:10

House everytime. Once it's paid off its yours, you can do whatever you like to it without needing permission (exception being anything that needs planning approval).

I'm single, early forties have a house and would be er chnage it. It'll be paid off soon and that's peace of mind, if I never meet my partner I have security in my house and I can downgrade later and move further out if I want to release the equity that's built up.

Maybe there is an option to stay a bit longer with your parents to save more so you can afford a home in the location you want. It would be worth it.

CourgettesCarrots · 06/12/2024 11:39

Don't rule out a flat but make sure it's the right one. I own share of freehold for our flats with three other people. The home I chose is extremely low maintenance and it's great being able to share the cost of any work with my neighbours (although there havent been any costs, it's a small, solid 1970s block). There's no ground rent or service charge to pay because there are no communal areas (each have own front door and own garden). We just have a very quick meeting for 20 mins once a year.

MovingToPlan · 06/12/2024 11:54

Depends on your priorities, in terms of location, cost of upkeep, and amount of space you need/want. I didn't realise how much a garden would benefit my mental and physical health until I lived in a house with a large garden, so for me, I would prioritise this if I was in a situation similar to yours in the future.

I'd also say, this doesn't have to be a permanent decision, so there's nothing wrong with your priorities changing over time as you find your feet again. Best of luck!

Chillilounger · 06/12/2024 12:09

If you were in your 20's I would say flat definitely but in your position I would stretch to a house. Much easier to sell on, more certainty in terms of fixed outgoings ( flat may look cheaper but management fees etc and shared costs can spiral also issues with cladding etc). Your house is yours.

rwalker · 06/12/2024 12:13

wouldn’t touch a flat in your position it’s the maintained fees that worry me and also make it more difficult to sell on

justfindingmyway · 06/12/2024 13:20

Thanks so much for the great advice. I am in a position where I am trying to figure out 'me' again, and what I actually like, what I need. I am realising I really enjoy taking something old and 'upcycling' it, so maybe a 'do-er upper' house is a possibility. BUT a flat where I live now is so very convenient; on top of the train station into London, which is where my life mostly is now since becoming single. And it is in a high street with bars, halls that do clubs, a yoga and pilates studio. So much to think about, I know some of it ought to feel exciting but I am so overwhelmed by my new future. I am also feeling anxious about living alone forever, but I know that is probably silly of me.

OP posts:
Babyname2025 · 06/12/2024 13:23

Doris86 · 06/12/2024 10:33

House every time if you can remotely afford it. You never really own a flat as you have a lease, and are beholden to the freeholder and managing agent.

After years of being ripped off by management fees, ground rent, and major works invoices I’d never buy a flat again.

You can buy a share of freehold flat. My dh is a leaseholder but as the freehold was purchased by our neighbours they allow the leaseholders to serve as directors so dh is a director of the residents management company.

Doris86 · 06/12/2024 13:50

Babyname2025 · 06/12/2024 13:23

You can buy a share of freehold flat. My dh is a leaseholder but as the freehold was purchased by our neighbours they allow the leaseholders to serve as directors so dh is a director of the residents management company.

That is certainly a better situation. However you still need to be involved in the tuning of the company, getting everyone to agree on decisions, making sure everyone pays their share etc. Owning a freehold house is just much less hassle.

Babyname2025 · 06/12/2024 13:56

Doris86 · 06/12/2024 13:50

That is certainly a better situation. However you still need to be involved in the tuning of the company, getting everyone to agree on decisions, making sure everyone pays their share etc. Owning a freehold house is just much less hassle.

It is the difference in price as well as location. In my location there is a big gap between 2 bed flat (including share of freehold) and 2 bed house- 200k. Larger 2 bed flat (ditto) and 2 bed house-125k. That is a lot at 4.5% interest rates. Even at 2% interest rates it felt like a lot more debt.

I have rarely seen places where a flat and a house are the same price unless flat is newbuild (vs old house) which I wouldn't advocate buying but I wouldn't advocate buying newbuild house (those come with estate management charges too).

And if you move further out, commuting charges apply too. Very high in the SE, 10k per annum for a couple.

MidnightMeltdown · 06/12/2024 14:00

I would stay well away from leasehold, which most flats are. You never truly own the property if you don't own the land it sits on.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=kbX0DxPmnyI&pp=ygUNbGVhc2Vob2xkIGJiYw%3D%3D

There was a thread on here recently where the OP was stuck with an unsellable flat because the management fees increased so much that nobody would touch it.

MinnieMountain · 06/12/2024 14:11

It sounds like you want to be central at the moment OP.

LH is imperfect but lots of people choose it. Just do your research carefully.

NewMrsF · 07/12/2024 14:07

I’d choose house every time, even if it means moving slightly further away.
having had a nightmare neighbour when living in a flat it’s awful. With a house you shut your front door and never have to deal with your neighbour, with a flat it’s like their a room mate sometimes.

our house is leasehold and it’s fine, we pay £4 a year

justfindingmyway · 07/12/2024 14:10

Thank you very much for all your advice. Perhaps I’m my own worst enemy but feeling embarrassed living back with parents at 34, but I could save more this way. I know I’m very fortunate to have the option. Life got very real for me lately and my path completely changed x

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 07/12/2024 14:16

I'm a nervous person, I find it terrifying living in a house, coming back to a dark empty house. Having a loft or basement. Shudders. Much prefer the safety of a flat. Less hiding places and windows, safety of others close by. In a bungalow now and it takes a while to check all around before bed, and the loft is padlocked but it gives us a bit more space and a bigger garden.

justfindingmyway · 07/12/2024 14:29

Doggymummar · 07/12/2024 14:16

I'm a nervous person, I find it terrifying living in a house, coming back to a dark empty house. Having a loft or basement. Shudders. Much prefer the safety of a flat. Less hiding places and windows, safety of others close by. In a bungalow now and it takes a while to check all around before bed, and the loft is padlocked but it gives us a bit more space and a bigger garden.

Edited

I feel like this, too. To be honest, I’ve got so much to process anyway. And now I will be living alone. I know for lots of people it’s bliss that way. I haven’t done it before so it is new, and I am a very petite lady, I’m not somebody no one will cross. I’m in a bit of whole really as being newly single at 34, all I keep hearing is all the good men are taken and how awful the rest are. It’s just been a tough time. Thank you for your thoughts.

OP posts:
Ganthanga · 07/12/2024 14:45

Firstly don't think of property as an investment or something to make you money. It's first and foremost your home, a place that you feel safe, can decorate as you wish and only invite who you want through the front door.
You should also choose what is right for your lifestyle. Driving half an hour through country lanes to a train station is probably not ideal for a single person who wants to be coming home late from Central London. Never underestimate the amount of time, money and effort doing up a house entails and a less attractive option doing it on your own.
It sounds as though the flat might allow you to move on with your life more quickly and suit your present lifestyle so make sure you are across the service charges and leasehold fees and go for it. The houses further out will always be there and waiting for you when you are ready to swap clubbing for gardening.

RaspberryBeretxx · 07/12/2024 14:50

I’d give it some time and then just keep an eye and ear out - register with local agents and emphasise your ability to move quickly (no chain) for the right property. Then I’d just see what comes up. An amazing flat might tempt you or a doer upper little house could pop up. Look at bigger places 20 mins away and small places nearby. I think you need to see what your money can buy and see what’s out there before you make a hard decision one way or another. Basically do a Phil and Kirsty on yourself 😁.

justfindingmyway · 07/12/2024 14:58

Ganthanga · 07/12/2024 14:45

Firstly don't think of property as an investment or something to make you money. It's first and foremost your home, a place that you feel safe, can decorate as you wish and only invite who you want through the front door.
You should also choose what is right for your lifestyle. Driving half an hour through country lanes to a train station is probably not ideal for a single person who wants to be coming home late from Central London. Never underestimate the amount of time, money and effort doing up a house entails and a less attractive option doing it on your own.
It sounds as though the flat might allow you to move on with your life more quickly and suit your present lifestyle so make sure you are across the service charges and leasehold fees and go for it. The houses further out will always be there and waiting for you when you are ready to swap clubbing for gardening.

Thank you, this is sound advice. I’m not in a great place mentally so looking at this from a sensible perspective is difficult for me right now. Other people are probably able to know what is good for me more than I do myself right now. Some days I put on my social mask and do my corporate job, other days, like today, I feel unable to move from my pit lol. Sorry, just wanted to put that into the world

OP posts:
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