Where to move out of london

[Londonescape]

Hi everyone,

My partner and I are in our late twenties and looking to move out of London in anticipation of having kids in the next few years.

We've viewed houses in Godalming, Reigate, St Albans, Guildford and are also considering Oxted, and Hitchin.

Our budget is up to £1.3m and the most important things for us are

• commute to London (one of us is in the office everyday )
• good place to raise a family
• access to green space/countryside
• ideally we'd like somewhere with a bit going on

Does anyone have any experience with the above places ? Would you recommend/not?

Thanks so much !

Considering Chelsea and London Bridge: You need Kent where trains run in/out of LB and CX

Or Victoria

Look at the places in that direction

Kent/Surrey basically

Sevenoaks

Trains take 30 mins

Oxted is about 40 mins to London Bridge.

There are lovely houses with big gardens within easy walking distance of the station. There are some v good state primaries, and middling secondaries (Oxted School) and quite a few good Preps and independent secondaries [Caterham, Seven Oaks, Reigate Grammar, Dunnottar) within reasonable travel/ school bus routes.

Oxted isn’t as busy as Reigate or cities like Guildford /St Albans. It has a good number of cafes and a cinema and some independent small boutique shops but isn’t a great shopping destination. It’s almost into Kent and I’d say feels more like a Kent town than a Surrey town, if that doesn’t sound daft.

I also agree that with lots of commuting, staying in London zones and perhaps Wimbledon type area might be good. Places in west London zone 5 like Pinner, Northwood could also be good.

Probably worth mentioning that wherever we move we won't have any family support as they are both too far away

It makes a big difference with logistics if you do not have family on hand to paper over any gaps in childcare in the shires because you are stuck in London due to trains failing.

You would have to pay through the nose for live-in childcare (hopefully not 80K). Nurseries can only hold a child for so long (30 mins) after which their insurance will not cover, so even money does not solve the problem.

Also, you would have to have a driving nanny and/or use private schools which have all facilities on site, as there is no one to ferry your child to their activity at 3.30 pm when school breaks. The child may have to be in breakfast and after school club (10 hour days).

This can be avoided with one SAHP but is expensive and logistically complex and stressful with both parents commuting. I suspect it will fall on you primarily to organise.

I don’t understand why you think moving out of London when you’re required to work inside London would give you a change of pace? With kids you want as short and reliable commute as possible, so staying in a London village is likely to be far happier and more relaxing life than never seeing them, especially because most nurseries close at 6 latest so you’re going to be having to leave the office early and be stressing every time trains are delayed or cancelled. You’re basically living for the weekend doing this.

With that budget I’d look at East Dulwich or even beckenham (you’d get something lovely for 1.3m and good schools!) and close to both London Bridge but also countryside. At the weekend you are an hour from the coast and endless things on your doorstep whereas all those Surrey places are very conservative and boring unless you like dog walks.

If you're looking at Reigate I'd also suggest Woldingham. Lovely part of the Surrey hills and very easy into Victoria.

whereas all those Surrey places are very conservative and boring unless you like dog walks

😂Surrey can be quite up themselves and have more SAHMs (for the reasons mentioned) who may look down on WOHMs.

Sorry Surrey residents (I am sure you are all v. nice) for the generalisation but that is the stereotype.

It's too overcrowded - the park, children's classes, playgroups, traffic. Locals tended to be more relaxed / chilled when we first moved there. Antisocial behaviour is creeping in. Highstreet had a variety of shops - now predominantly coffee shops and restaurants. Everyman Cinema is nice and Waterstones. We got tired of it quickly and ended up in Guildford a lot at weekends for a variety of activities - climbing at Surrey Sports Park, Ice skating at the Spectrum, theatre and entertainment at Yvonne Arnold theatre and G-Live. Two weeks ago we attend the Science Fair held by Surrey University and when walking down the Highstreet got invited into the church to hear an Orchestra playing Medelssohn. Just so much to do and ever changing.
Trains are useless from Reigate, my husband changed at Redhill or drove to Redhill - which isn't the nicest station.

We loved living in Berkhamstead and are now happy in Maidenhead.

Good shout but I would also consider the very accessible Elizabeth line. Lots of great places in the west to live.

Yeah my nanny cost far less than half in the Home Counties doing as above in affluent town. That takes the oiss.

We’ve moved out from SW London, and I love it but the things that are different for me are;

• I work full time only go into London 2 times a week on average;
• partner is semi- retired and works locally;
• my commute is under an hour.

If I had to do my commute 5 days a week it would genuinely kill me and, honestly, having 3 kids in extra curriculars more or less needs 2 parents at home. There’s nothing more stressful than needing to get to brownies etc for pick up and then the trains being up the spout.

If you really want to do it I would be focussing on your jobs first to see if you can increase the flexibility. Ideally you’d want one person at home most days. I’d also live somewhere where kids can get themselves to school and clubs etc when older. I love our life here, having the country on our doorstep is absolutely what I wanted but if I were commuting every day I don’t think it’d be worth it.

I also agree, try to find something on the tube if you possibly can and consider places like Watford, Bromley, Beckenham etc which are “almost London”. I’ve also got friends in Cassiobury/ Nascot Wood who love it there. If you do go out to St Albans etc try to be almost on top of the station if you can.

Reigate is wonderful, grew up here and the trains to London are regular and plenty of direct options. My daughter commutes daily without issue and mainly on a direct train (where you always get a seat) or via Redhill which is v straightforward. It has great schools both state and private plus an excellent 6th form college, and Priory Park is the thriving hub of the town with tons of activities throughout the year. Every town has issues but I have never felt anything other than completely safe living here. Guildford is great and I love to shop there but it is much larger and not without its own issues, not all parts of the town are that great either. I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend Reigate and you have the wonderful Surrry hills on your doorstep too.

Curious if anyone has any experience with Oxted specifically?

There really isn’t much there & you will likely spend lots of time in the car.

I think we both feel ready to be out of London but appreciate it may be hard to get that feeling when we are tied to it workwise

If you want more space, less people look at the outer boroughs eg Kingston.

Very grateful for everyone's advice ! Just had some offers through on our property so time to make a decision, heading on some viewings in Oxted and Sevenoaks this weekend

So completely ignoring all the advice then!

I suppose at least if you make the move now you will get to experience commuting before you have kids, and will then realise how hard it would be with children in the mix. As a practice run, aim to get to the station by 5.45pm every day for a week, and see how your journey feels.

I did that sort of commute pre-kids and it was knackering enough then, without the stress of timing nursery drop offs and pick ups. Honestly, I wouldn't do it.

As pps have said, these sort of commutes tend to work for people who have either only one person who needs to do the lengthy commute into London, which then leaves the other parent who is either a SAHP, wfh or working locally as the default parent. Or they have reliable family to help with childcare.

You might be ready to leave London for a slower pace of life, but you certainly won't get that with a long commute. Remember, you need to get to the station as well, it's not just the 5-10 minute walk to the nearest public transport you get in London.

Yes I remember speaking to a woman who had moved to Sevenoaks with her husband after having a baby and she said she basically never sees him because of the commute and it’s a 4 hour round trip realistically every day, sounded miserable. She seemed really trapped and lonely. I’d rather a smaller house closer to where I was working. It might all seem abstract if you don’t have kids but honestly there’s no way you’re both commuting daily from the areas you mentioned with kids unless you have a nanny but then you have your ask what’s the point having kids if you’re never seeing them.

I know someone who moved from SW london to Oxted, she hates the road going through it as it's really busy and fast and has to get in the car to do everything, her children really don't like it and want to move back!

I agree with those saying stay in SW London, somewhere near Richmond Park or Wimbledon Common for your green fix.

Yes, this is right - when I said to try it aiming to get to your home station by 17.45, that’s assuming you’d be able to get to a nursery by closing time at 6. But if it’s a drive away and you need to walk to your car and contend with traffic then you probably need even more leeway than that.

So you’re looking at leaving work quite early (likely before 5pm, having arrived late due to the same issues at the other end), then battling through rush hour to make a very stressful deadline. And that’s not even on the very many days when nursery calls you in the morning to collect a sick child.

A nanny helps with this, but costs a lot - £35-40k out of your already taxed income, and this is going up thanks to increase in employer NICs.

Congratulations on the offers OP.

Like others, I really stand by what I said upthread and caution you against this move, unless you or your husband plan to change your career. It’s my (only once a week, thank goodness) day in London today. I won’t see my babies awake between last night and tomorrow morning, which I hate. My train was late, as it frequently is. I was late for work. Literally, failing on all fronts, and very stressful for the whole family.

Edited to say - obviously the above is totally just my personal experience and I realise it sounds a bit condescending!! Don’t mean to be at all - clearly you should do whatever works for you!

Sevenoaks to Charing Cross is 35/40 mins

Miles quicker journey than from some London stations

@peanutmother yep- I think some of these guys must be telling porkies so they can go to the pub- lol!!

I agree four hours round trip sounds at the outer end for the journey but as well as a train commute time you need to figure in travel to and from both stations, and delays and cancellations etc. Whereas people tend to work out a door to door commute time in London rather than the duration of their tube or bus ride.