Are you planning to downsize when you are older?

[D20]

What age/life stage are you aiming for? We’ve always assumed at some point we will downsize (physically) when we retire. Our Mortgage will be paid off, kids will be well on their way into adulthood. Both of our neighbours are now in their 70s and in failing health but no plans to move so I wonder if we’ll end up the same.

I agree.

I know it's tough clearing a house when someone dies. Due to my parents' health problems, I have done it 4 times - for both sets of grandparents as well as both parents (died 30 years apart). It is hard, sad work. However, I would never have wanted any of them to downsize to spare me that, or to live without the things they loved. I think it is ageist and dehumanising to expect older people to discard their possessions/downsize, just to spare their kids some hassle.

Downsizing is great, if you do it for positive reasons - save money, less upkeep, moving closer to family etc - but don't do just to spare your kids some work. If you're that worried, put some money aside in your will for a house-clearer .

For me, sparing my kids some work is a positive reason. I’m not being ageist against myself.

Every time I move house I have done a clear out and got rid of loads of stuff that I don’t want/need. Clearly I don’t get rid of things I want to keep! Downsizing in later life is no different. At that point I’d also hope that my kids would have their own places and I’d be able to give them their stuff or get rid of it if they don’t want it.

In my mum’s case she’s got loads of old furniture/books that she inherited from family members and is not attached to, plus random general clutter that she hasn’t got round to taking to the dump because as a single person living in a 5 bed house with a large garage she doesn’t need to! She could quite happily move to a smaller place while retaining all of her treasured possessions and I wish she would, for both her and my sake.

DH had just retired at 51 when we downsized and relocated. Plan is to relocate again within the next decade when DH will be 70. We intend to move very close to the border, either the east or west coast but stay on the Scottish side. This would make it easy to access the M6 and A1 and the east and west coast mainline stations making it easy to head south to our family.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow

I think this depends.

Some people - like my parents have an extraordinary amount of rubbish in their house. For example, my parents produced my swimming float from 30 + years recently. It was mouldy and had bite marks in it.

I think it is a bit shitty to leave a house full of that sort of thing for your children to sort through. It's all very well saying get house clearance but inevitably there are important and valuable things mixed in with it.

My PIL on the other hand, have a fair amount of stuff but it's more heirloom arts and crafts, books etc which will still be a lot to sort through but it's not random crap.

We're late 60s and this is a regular topic. However, we're a few months away from DH's succession plan taking effect at work, but it may not happen at all in which case we're back on square one.

We'd like to be closer to family and friends which suggests somewhere within easy reach of the M4 corridor; that area is more expensive than our current location, but we'd also like to give our child a deposit when we do. And ATM we live in our perfect house, with a wonderful view so there are going to be compromises. We just don't know which way we'll jump.

I’m 55, retired 2 years ago, I live in a four bedroom detached house and plan to move in about 5 years. I think the house I move to will be smaller but with more to do in the area so financially it will be a sideways move.
I would then like to move again to an apartment when I’m around 70. I worked as a care assistant and visited so many people in big homes, not using many of the rooms or they couldn’t afford to heat the house or able to use stairs.
I have two flats, one I will give to one of my DC the other I’ll sell in the next few years and give the proceeds to my other two DC for houses deposits.

Eh?

Not all sheltered housing consists of a block where very unwell elderly people coexist, with a warden and visiting carers!

Ours is just a development of eleven separate bungalows.

We come and go as we please and don't have any joint ventures.

There is a visiting warden who oversees the place, for two hours, Mon - Fri.

She doesn't visit us because we don't need her.

A lot of sheltered housing complexes are like ours. It isn't remotely like a care home.

Yes I'm with you @harrietm87 I also see sparing my kids some work as a positive reason to downsize and I’m also not being ageist against myself.

Looking now - mid 50s. We have an 8 bed house and move to 3/4 max with a manageable garden. Enough space to house adult dc should they need to return after uni but somewhere we don’t have to move again until assisted living years.

We are moving to be closer to bigger town, close to family and old friends. It feels like the right time for us, excited to free up some time and money to do something other than house and upkeep. Plan to get a tiny bolt hole overseas.

I agree with decluttering, discarding random crap, and, above all, sorting.

Clearing the house of my grandparents who were (mild) hoarders was a hell of a lot harder than clearing the house of the ruthless-declutterer grandparents. But the ruthless-declutterers had chucked out lots of things that I would actually have liked to inherit, including almost all family photos.

It is hard to anticipate what the next generation will want - though I accept it's unlikely to include ancient swimming floats 😉 But I have no real interest in the antiques my grandparents left me, and I only keep them out of guilt, whereas I would have loved photos, memorabilia from WW2 etc.

My dad absolutely adores a good declutter.

You go to visit him and come away with a carload to drop at the nearest recycling centre, charity shop or dump.

I have never seen so orderly and empty an attic.

Yes I’m 45 and my five bed house is already becoming too much for me, I’ve had fatigue for about a year and I worry about how I’m going to feel later on down the line if things don’t improve. At the moment my teens are still at school so it won’t be for a few years yet.

Yes.
My in laws are miserable in a huge old house, they won’t spend any money on it and it’s completely impractical - unsafe really.
I won’t do that to my children.

Yes. I’ll be buying a suitable city centre flat when I’m about 50, one that has an elevator and can be adjusted if needs be.

The retirement mentality of buying unsuitable properties out in the sticks and requiring ambulances for falls every 2 weeks is not something I want to be involved in.

Yes. I've lived here 15 years but no sentimental attachment. My eldest may live with me for life so an accessible apartment in the city would be better for her than this large house with big garden in the suburbs I wanted to raise my kids in.

If she was able to live independently then I'd move to a small apartment and stay here in suburbs.

Maybe, when I am 80ish. We have a four bed house and since the children have gone use one bedroom as my studio and our dining room for yoga. We still need 3 bedrooms for when both sons visit at the s as me time. The house is now just as I want it and We certainly won’t move until we need to.

Gosh yes those elderly couples on Escape To the Country! I’m screaming “don’t do it!!” At the TV 😂

Unfortunately, @MissLucyEyelesbarrow , the elderly person themselves often has to go through the massive clear out when they just can’t manage in the larger house anymore. My Dad and SM were just managing with meals on wheels, a cleaner and gardener, but when she became ill and died, it was all too much for Dad. So he had participate in the clear out in his mid-80’s, which was hard for him, even with me and a professional organizer actually doing the work.

People live so long nowadays that they often can’t avoid downsizing-my Dad wishes that they’d done it years earlier, tbh. 🤷

Decluttering/sorting and down-sizing aren't the same thing, though.

I agree that it is a good idea to keep on top of possessions, chuck out things you don't need, sort the things you do. If DH and I are eaten by lions tomorrow, someone could go through our attic in 15 minutes because, even though it's fairly full, everything is sorted and labelled.

So do I … was amused to see a recent Mumsnet thread, “I blame Escape to the Country” about elderly parents who have moved to the arse end of nowhere & now need loads of support.

While I love the idea of being eaten by lions @MissLucyEyelesbarrow ,I fear my ageing flesh might not appeal much! Quicker than a lingering decline though.

That is what I did. Sold a 6 bed townhouse and bought a central London (zone 1) 1 bed flat.

You and Yours BBC Radio 4 from 1st April 2024 (no - it's a serious article) - listen from 39m 08s for the part on the problems in the UK housing market and downsizing - the reality is sobering - it's not that easy!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001xwrk

I would be in favour of moving to a more temperate part of Europe - I'm close to my adult children but the truth is - they have their own lives and busy careers and as much as I would love to see them more - I bet it's less that 14 days a year - we facetime and message all the time - sometimes several times a week, barely ever more than a week without some contact but.. I don't think it would make things worse by my moving abroad. Our only tie ATM is my MIL who needs daily support - blind, with dementia, 92 and declining rapidly over the last 6 months - I'm not sure she will see the year out TBH. I like where I live, the house is fine but it's bricks and mortar - I'm not attached to it. I don't think there is anywhere in the UK that I can both afford and like as much but with better weather - that's the killer for me.

But you now need residency to stay more than 3 months a year and that has tax and inheritance implications depending on the country.

You could always look at countries with retirement or non-lucrative visas, provided you have a sensible retirement pension. Most require about £35k between a couple.