Renovation hell —give me hope…please..

Walkthelakes · 2024-04-10T15:40:39+00:00

I’d love to hear any stories about renovation disasters that have turned out alright in the end and you have regained your sanity. Currently sacked builder after 18 months. Was supposed to take 16 weeks. We are going to have to pay twice for stuff, and struggle to get someone to take on the mess he’s made. Currently living in half the house. It’s ugly and dark. I feel like it was the worse decision ever to buy this house. Can I make my peace with it when it’s done? Will I have PTSD and never be able to enjoy it? I can’t sell it until it’s finished anyway as it’s a building site. So I have to get through it but fuck me im fed up

Newofficechaur · 10/04/2024 16:43

I totally feel your pain. It just feels relentless and suffocating doesn't it? We fell out with our builders spectacularly near the end and it still stresses me now (this was last year). People who say 'oh it will be worth it in the end' deserve a special biff on the earlobe grrr....

Newofficechaur · 10/04/2024 16:44

Oh you will enjoy it eventually but I would be lying if I said it hadn't affected me 😔

Original poster

Walkthelakes · 10/04/2024 16:51

It’s actually just nice to hear that I’m not alone. I’m pretty resilient but god it’s getting to me and today I feel particularly teary. Also every little thing they can goes wrong seems too

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theusualwednesday · 10/04/2024 16:53

It is so so stressful. Hang on in there and then you will NEVER have to do it again.

Cadela · 10/04/2024 16:56

Oh I feel your pain, I started renovations just before covid really kicked off in 2020 and you can imagine how much that went to shit when I was halfway finished in March 😅

It does get get better! Promise. What was meant to take £65k and 8ish weeks ended up being £120k and 2 years.

I didn’t get PTSD, although I’d rather burn my house down than have anymore work other than maybe a lightbulb changed for a few years.

Once it was done I did love it and you do forget the carnage pretty quickly.

Sending good house vibes!

OneDayIWillLearn · 10/04/2024 18:55

We had a pretty horrendous time doing our kitchen/ loft extension and pretty near full renovation back in 2021. Overran, we were living with my parents (which didn’t really work), then in an air b n b which cost a load and was tiny, builders kept making up new costs, ugh!!! And when we finally insisted they got it so we could move back in there were then another 4 months of work to be done and we had no windows downstairs for 2 of those (all boarded up). It took me a while to get over it but I do love our house now. I was a bit sore about it for a year after but now we’re two years past it I genuinely feel I can laugh.

Original poster

Walkthelakes · 10/04/2024 19:40

theusualwednesday · 10/04/2024 16:53

It is so so stressful. Hang on in there and then you will NEVER have to do it again.

I know. Even if I don’t fall in love with house when it’s done I don’t think I can leave because I couldn’t do it all again

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Shetlands · 10/04/2024 19:47

I remember having renovations done. My daughter (adult but still at home then) came downstairs and found me sitting on a pile of cement bags, drinking wine and crying. She joined me and we ended up laughing hysterically at the sheer horror of the situation.

Yes it does get better and you will love it when it's finished. I wish I'd taken more photos as it progressed to what it is now - maybe you have done that.

Autumn1990 · 10/04/2024 19:52

It’s an awful porcess but the best way through is to be the project manager and hire the different trades and treat it as full time job then anyone who’s out to take advantage gives you a wide berth

Nosleepforthismum · 10/04/2024 20:41

Here in solidarity OP 🍷

DH is a reputable builder and even he is stressed with our own house renovation, we’re running two weeks behind, had a couple of unforeseen costs and the weather is killing us (as we currently have no roof). This is our third and it does get better I promise but it’s a bit like childbirth in that you forget how awful it was and stupidly decide to do it again.

Original poster

Walkthelakes · 10/04/2024 20:49

Autumn1990 · 10/04/2024 19:52

It’s an awful porcess but the best way through is to be the project manager and hire the different trades and treat it as full time job then anyone who’s out to take advantage gives you a wide berth

I agree with this. The problem is I already have a full time job as a teacher that requires a lot of work in the evenings and a large young family so I’m on the edge of what I can cope with!

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theusualwednesday · 10/04/2024 22:11

Oh my gosh, that does sound very hellish then! Maybe try meditation to try and mentally escape! (Failing that, see someone’s wine comment above. Or drugs?)

orangeN · 11/04/2024 22:34

I even could not sleep when things going wrong replacing one thing at my home much prefer to do things myself when I can than hire a tradesman. You all tough people

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Walkthelakes · 12/04/2024 17:32

theusualwednesday · 10/04/2024 22:11

Oh my gosh, that does sound very hellish then! Maybe try meditation to try and mentally escape! (Failing that, see someone’s wine comment above. Or drugs?)

currentky tee total but wine and hard drugs are looking really attractive!

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Howdidthathappen1 · 12/04/2024 17:32

Oh I'm definitely going to be left with full on PTSD after this - in the midst of a catalogue of disasters right now- another one with no roof currently.
I have massive regrets buying this house and as m very aware that we won't get back anywhere near what we've spent unless we're here for the next 100 years.
Fed up and run out of real life people who are willing to listen to me moan about my 'brought it on yourself' troubles

Original poster

Walkthelakes · 12/04/2024 17:34

orangeN · 11/04/2024 22:34

I even could not sleep when things going wrong replacing one thing at my home much prefer to do things myself when I can than hire a tradesman. You all tough people

Thing is once I’d bought the house there is no getting out of it! I’ve sort of changed my mind but there is no rewind option so I’m going to have to get through it! The only way out is through.

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hcuoc · 12/04/2024 17:48

You do forget.

Pay with Mastercard and write up a contract with next tradesmen - including financial penalties for missed deadlines. If they're anywhere near professional, they'll agree to this.

We learned a LOT through our renovations. Hell on earth.

Can't be that bad though as we are planning an imminent major reno on our new place!

user1471538283 · 12/04/2024 18:08

I can! I did up my favourite house and my god! Everything cost a fortune and we ended up going back to brick in the bathroom!

I slept for a couple of nights in dust and surrounded by the bathrooms fitting including pipes. And we only had one toilet so that was fun. We went to shower at a friend's house and stayed at a hotel for one night whilst the floor dried. Even though I did the whole house the bathroom nearly finished me off.

Then the kitchen ceiling was sagging so that needed doing after the kitchen had been fitted.

All the dust!

But it was worth it. My home was elegant but the time I'd finished. And despite all the work and dust and expense I enjoyed the process and learnt so much.

I'm going through it all again here soon but I'm having 2 bathrooms this time!

menohnopausal · 12/04/2024 18:14

Solidarity from me too. We bought this place last January in desperation (had been trying to move from our much loved, but too small, flat for a couple of years). Thought we could do the necessary renovations like we did approx 12 years ago to the last flat (obviously accounting for inflation). It's been an absolute fucking nightmare. The costs are INSANE, and the tradesmen utterly unreliable. I now hate this flat. It's basically been contaminated with horrible memories. When (if 😭) it gets finished, I'm going to move, and never ever buy a doer-upper again.

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Walkthelakes · 12/04/2024 19:14

menohnopausal · 12/04/2024 18:14

Solidarity from me too. We bought this place last January in desperation (had been trying to move from our much loved, but too small, flat for a couple of years). Thought we could do the necessary renovations like we did approx 12 years ago to the last flat (obviously accounting for inflation). It's been an absolute fucking nightmare. The costs are INSANE, and the tradesmen utterly unreliable. I now hate this flat. It's basically been contaminated with horrible memories. When (if 😭) it gets finished, I'm going to move, and never ever buy a doer-upper again.

Yeah this is exactly how I feel. I think I’ll have to live in it a year after I’ve done it up just to be sure how I feel but after that I’ll be moving to my new build.

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Original poster

Walkthelakes · 12/04/2024 20:17

Howdidthathappen1 · 12/04/2024 17:32

Oh I'm definitely going to be left with full on PTSD after this - in the midst of a catalogue of disasters right now- another one with no roof currently.
I have massive regrets buying this house and as m very aware that we won't get back anywhere near what we've spent unless we're here for the next 100 years.
Fed up and run out of real life people who are willing to listen to me moan about my 'brought it on yourself' troubles

I think we need a support group 😂I no longer talk about it with real life friends for fear of boring them

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ibelieveinmirrorballs · 12/04/2024 21:25

Solidarity from me too OP. I'm not sure my message will be what you want to hear, but I went through a renovation with a builder I had to sack (this was the second one, after the first lot of renovations a couple of years before I'd had to sack builders from too - they turned out to be coke heads and stopped turning up to finish the job after they'd only done about 70% of it) and definitely had PTSD from it.

With this last round, I got another builder to finish it off - whilst he wasn't brilliant, he was a lovely man and he was reliable and he got it all done. It cost me more, but the worst part about it was that some of the bad work done by the first builder just couldn't be rectified without huge expense and so I left it. I sold the house only 18 months after the work was finished because it depressed me so much to be constantly reminded of it. Whilst on the surface some of the work looked amazing the reality was it had been done very badly.

The 'happy ending' (if there is one 😆) is that a few months ago I randomly saw the most beautifully renovated house come on the market, which had been lovingly restored by someone from top to bottom. On a whim I put mine on the market, managed to sell it, and moved in here last month. I am grateful on a daily basis never to have to go through that sort of renovation hell again. I'm a single parent with a demanding job, and just don't think I've got the mental bandwidth for it when things go wrong. I'm not sure that's helpful for you but just in case you're worrying that you too will be traumatised and never love the house, there are ways out of it!

Hiddenmnetter · 12/04/2024 21:34

I’m in the middle of building a granny annexe for my parents in my garden. It was meant to be 3 months start to finish. We’re nearly at 5 months and about 2/3-3/4 of the way through.

having the builder come around and take a big old shit every morning is starting to irk me. He’s an old friend, and a really nice guy, and he’s doing an outstanding job, but he’s not nearly as quick as it was planned to be. It’s making it a little hard to talk with him (doesn’t help that he’s ADHD and he often doesn’t talk sense…)

Still, nearly there. The paving is going in and it looks amazing. Just a little longer and my parents will be out of my living room. I’m desperately trying to find recommended tradesmen to finish various jobs that my builder doesn’t have the time to finish as he’s accommodating the ground works for the paver. He will get back to them, but it’s holding up the moving in date considerably because he has to focus on ground works right now and I just want their internals finished!!!

fromtheshires · 12/04/2024 21:39

These stories are something I'm going to have to get used to as I'm buying a renovation project.

I think I will be getting PTSD from it. Although we are handy people and can do a lot of the stuff ourselves such as fitting kitchens and bathrooms, theres some stuff we cant do such as fitting windows and such like.

Ive got my spreadsheet set up with the list of things that we need to do and costs from rough guessing and we are already 20k over our budget. Luckily the list includes small things and furnishings so hopefully it will come in budget there at least.

In 3 months once we are in and have begun, if you see someone walking around B&Q crying and looking lost it will probably be me 😂

Noseyoldcow · 12/04/2024 22:00

We've just had the "pleasure" of a bathroom refurb. Not that there was anything wrong with the old one, but DHs doddery git knees meant a swap from a bath to a walk in shower. Suffice to say we are now in the prices of a small courts claim over it. This thread and others are why I will never be doing anything else to our house save a bit of wallpaper and paint (if even that) and nor am I ever going to move, since that apparently involves a whole other world of aggravation.
Maybe someone could start new threads - "I did my house up/sold my house and it was a piece of cake". No, didn't think so.....