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Original poster

I want to withdraw my offer and feel bad

27 replies

Nosierosi · 30/01/2024 14:51

Hi,
I had an offer accepted this weekend. I like the house, it needs more done to it than I’d originally wanted but I think that’s more of an expectations thing on my part.
Sellers EA did the usual hard sell, lots of viewings etc and in one of our multiple discussions this told me twice that the couple were buying a new build. I took this as it’s a short chain (3) and would be quicker and perhaps less stressful. I offered probably a bit more than I wanted (I accept this is me probably being a bit reactive) but felt ok with it until yesterday when the EA called me up asking for an upfront deposit to show I was serious (£250) and then when I asked for confirmation that the new build was ready for them to move into I was informed that they’d changed their mind last minute and were now in a chain -he had no details of the onward chain, I suspect because it’s still in development. On reflection of all the things the EA told me during our discussions that he knew all along that they did not intend to buy a new build - this bits a bit complicated but I am certain I’ve been deliberately misled.

now before anyone jumps on this I know that buying a house often has variables outside of your control but I’d gone up to what I offered on the basis it would be a short chain.

I’ve lost confidence in it now and really just want to withdraw my offer, I think I’m paying too much and it will still need all the work doing to it but I feel bad as typically I dislike backing out of things I’ve agreed to.

im a single mum buying on my own for the first time and really missing having a second person to make a decision with. Am I being unreasonable to want to withdraw?

OP posts:
79andnotout · 30/01/2024 14:54

It's so early in the process. If you're not happy withdraw. I hate backing out of things too but I wouldn't bat an eyelid at this early stage.

mnahmnah · 30/01/2024 14:54

You should absolutely withdraw your offer if you have doubts. We got as far as nearly exchanging before withdrawing our offer and wasted money on solicitors, searches etc

Sotired22 · 30/01/2024 14:55

No, it’s ok to change your mind but best to just say so now before you get deeper into it and they instruct solicitors etc!

Octavia64 · 30/01/2024 14:56

Perfectly fine to withdraw.

Also the Estate agent asking for a 250 deposit is not the usual process.

FayCarew · 30/01/2024 14:57

Pull out. If you've not paid the £250 then don't.

beigerage · 30/01/2024 14:57

I had an offer accepted on a house several years ago which was supposed to be chain-free as the seller was moving in with her daughter; it turned out, of course, that this was made up by the estate agent not quite the plan, and it cost me nearly 6 months in rent while she faffed about finding somewhere. Now, I'd probably have withdrawn the offer and moved on.

Have you had a survey done?

Tuelanak · 30/01/2024 14:57

Withdraw now OP

justasking111 · 30/01/2024 14:59

Withdraw.

Popquizzer · 30/01/2024 15:02

You only made the offer a couple of days ago. Just withdraw if you need to. It happens all the time.

ihavespoken · 30/01/2024 15:05

It's totally fine to withdraw! Until you exchange then the risk is there that either party could withdraw anyway so please don't feel bad.

Good luck with the rest of your house-hunting!

cupcakesarelife · 30/01/2024 15:07

definitely withdraw. you'll be wasting more of your time and money. Whether the vendor or EA knew they would not be moving into a new build is their own problem. It shouldn't be yours. At least from this experience you know for sure that your max budget and that you're looking for a short chain. Also what is this £250??? I've never heard of this. This sounds like a hidden charge and I would not pay it and report them to the PRS (property redress scheme)

aitchteeaitch · 30/01/2024 15:10

Could you speak to the vendor direct, and find out what's going on? Maybe put a note through the door or something, and say that you might be misunderstanding what the estate agent is saying to you about the chain, and please could they confirm where they are at, exactly.

They aren't going to want to lose their buyer, and I'm sure they will want to make things clear.

And don't pay that estate agent that £250 - they have no right to ask for it.

Vintagevixen · 30/01/2024 15:10

Don't have any qualms about withdrawal at this stage. Particularly as you are a single parent - I am too, and you have to do what's right for you as you only have yourself to rely on! You cannot buy something that's not right for you.

Sellers have plenty of time to get another offer, EA lied about the chain and I am VERY sure that asking for £250 is not normal process and sounds extremely dodgy to me. I've bought and sold four times and never been asked for this

cheezncrackers · 30/01/2024 15:14

Just withdraw. It's been what - four days? It would be much worse to dither for ages and THEN withdraw at a later stage. You feel you've been misled on the vendor's plans - that's enough for you to withdraw.

Catsfrontbum · 30/01/2024 15:17

£250 seems like a really bizarre request and that makes my alarm bells ring. I think you’re being taken advantage of.

WITHDRAW!

Anjea · 30/01/2024 15:19

Withdraw. The £250 is bizarre.

cupcakesarelife · 30/01/2024 15:20

Is the £250 a "holding fee"?? This article is interesting and seems related... apparently, some EA (rare) try to make buyers pay a non-refundable holding fee/deposit when they make an offer on the house. lol! I find that hilarious! In this market, sellers should be paying buyers to come and view their property lol (I'm kidding, as if we'd do that 🙄)

"Holding deposits are rare when buying a home, other than when a new property is being bought off-plan and might not be finished for several years.... It's also worth knowing that currently more than one in five sales fall though, according to Rightmove."

Do not pay the £250. Do not pay an EA a holding fee. Ever.

https://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/mortgageshome/article-12195141/Should-pay-10k-holding-deposit-dream-home.html

Should we pay a £10,000 'holding deposit' to buy our dream house?

Because our offer is dependent on our own sale, the seller says he will only accept our offer on the condition that we pay a £10,000 holding deposit. What should we do?

https://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/mortgageshome/article-12195141/Should-pay-10k-holding-deposit-dream-home.html

Sodndashitall · 30/01/2024 15:22

This is a massive purchase and a lot of money. If it doesnt feel right then withdraw. Doing it now is not a problem, it is really early on in the process.

commonground · 30/01/2024 15:25

You might feel bad at this very moment, but when you've done it you'll feel relieved. This does not sound like a good buy at all.

(And if I were the vendors I'd be v peed off at the agents for a) lying about the chain and b) asking you for £250. Are they trying to lose them buyers?!)

Original poster
Nosierosi · 30/01/2024 15:25

Thank you everyone. I feel validated for feeling like something wasn’t right and that I’m not just overreacting. I’ve just hit send on the email formally withdrawing my offer.
i feel for the vendors, I’m certain it’s not a misunderstanding, the EA gave too much away that on reflection gave him away! I hope they sell soon and get what they want.
im pretty sure the EA saw me coming 😂 it’s been a learning curve, but I’ll be better prepared for when our house comes along!

OP posts:
Flottie · 30/01/2024 15:49

If you’ve got a bad feeling this early on then withdraw.

The two houses we’ve bought in our lives both vendors were buying new builds and it certainly wasn’t as simple as you think. We were initially told the new build was built… then found out it wasn’t… then the developer delayed things… we had to get really stroppy and pushy in the end and give an ultimatum that they had to move out by X date regardless and this was on both purchases! Basically the developer dictates the speed of the process and of that means delaying by two months they don’t care.

In the first house we moved in February and the vendors moved in with family until their house was ready in April!!! A house we were told we completed an built when we put our offer in November!

Original poster
Nosierosi · 30/01/2024 16:25

Flottie · 30/01/2024 15:49

If you’ve got a bad feeling this early on then withdraw.

The two houses we’ve bought in our lives both vendors were buying new builds and it certainly wasn’t as simple as you think. We were initially told the new build was built… then found out it wasn’t… then the developer delayed things… we had to get really stroppy and pushy in the end and give an ultimatum that they had to move out by X date regardless and this was on both purchases! Basically the developer dictates the speed of the process and of that means delaying by two months they don’t care.

In the first house we moved in February and the vendors moved in with family until their house was ready in April!!! A house we were told we completed an built when we put our offer in November!

this has a surprised me so thanks for sharing your experiences. I get if it’s off plan there could be delays but not if they’ve been told it’s built. I’ll definitely consider this next time.

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 31/01/2024 02:40

You live & learn @Nosierosi

Don’t feel bad about withdrawing because you had to once you realised you didn’t feel happy proceeding. We have also withdrawn from a house purchase in the past (at a later point than you). So I know you feel bad for the owner - but it’s too much money to go ahead despise having misgivings. Once you find the right house you will be keen for everything to proceed as fast as possible.

MariaLuna · 31/01/2024 02:53

^Thank you everyone. I feel validated for feeling like something wasn’t right and that I’m not just overreacting. I’ve just hit send on the email formally withdrawing my offer.
i feel for the vendors^

So glad you withdrew! Buying a house is the biggest financial commitment you make in your life. Always go with your gut feeling and don't be railroaded by people who are basically strangers.

Why "feel for the vendors"?! They don't care about you. They just see you as a business opportunity.

I'm a single mum too and we have to be our own best advocate. Your family is just as important as any nuclear family with 10+ members.

You know, I firmly believe this is the universe telling you there is something better on the way for you and yours. Onwards and upwards!

Twiglets1 · 31/01/2024 02:58

MariaLuna · 31/01/2024 02:53

^Thank you everyone. I feel validated for feeling like something wasn’t right and that I’m not just overreacting. I’ve just hit send on the email formally withdrawing my offer.
i feel for the vendors^

So glad you withdrew! Buying a house is the biggest financial commitment you make in your life. Always go with your gut feeling and don't be railroaded by people who are basically strangers.

Why "feel for the vendors"?! They don't care about you. They just see you as a business opportunity.

I'm a single mum too and we have to be our own best advocate. Your family is just as important as any nuclear family with 10+ members.

You know, I firmly believe this is the universe telling you there is something better on the way for you and yours. Onwards and upwards!

I mean, the universe could tell you it’s normal to feel bad for the vendors because it’s nice to have empathy for others even if you have to do something that will upset them.

Though I agree OP did the right thing going with their gut feeling.