Too soon to downsize if it's the right house?

[BobLobla]

We've lived in a our lovely Victorian semi for 23 years and brought our two dds up in it. 4 bedrooms, close to amenities and community centre, reasonable sized garden; we've spent money on getting attic converted to bedroom and making kitchen/dining room into open plan space. We're very happy here. Eldest dd is final year at Uni and youngest is year 13, taking a year off then Uni the year after that. Dh and I are 57 and 55.

We've been thinking a lot about our quality of life. He's a nurse and has never been happier since he went freelance. I'm a teacher (30 years in) and am ready for a change. Job at local Uni beckons which is 0.5 and I can get freelance/supply work in the other hours. We've discussed downsizing in a few years when the girls are gone, de-cluttering, etc. and travelling more.

EXCEPT.... when perusing idly on Rightmove last week I spotted our 'ideal' downsizing house. 3 bed, open plan bungalow, same area but a bit further into the country and best of all has a wonderful view, which I have always hankered after. The view bit is a real deal-breaker for me as I feel so relaxed and happy when I have a view, so I always promised myself I'd have one, one day. Not many properties like this come up in our area. It's been completed refurbed and is gorgeous. But obviously has much less space and fewer nooks and crannies for the kids to escape/ folk to have their own space to watch different TV/ study etc. Bedrooms are smaller than we have here. We've even talking about eldest moving back for a year next year with her bf while she does a post-grad. Our present house is ideal for this - although it wouldn't be impossible in the bungalow. Youngest would NOT like to move but she's only here for another 18 months.

Just had our present house valued too and we'd be able to pay mortgage off too if we had this other house. We would not be considering it at all if we (I) hadn't seen this particular house - it's pretty unique. ARGH. I'm going to view it later. Almost hope it puts me off so I don't have a decision to make. But if it's suitable - would you downsize a bit earlier than planned?

Sorry no idea where hushed came from

If it’s perfect and means you would be mortgage free, could you use the money saved to help your eldest out with rent while she does her post grad if there isn’t enough room to move back home?

I think you'd be rushing yourself into the next stage of life too soon and, with such a small house, you'd risk pushing your children out before they'd normally go.

I wouldn't be so keen to live like pensioners when you're still in your fifties.

I agree with this, mid-50s seems too young to be worrying about downsizing. We have a similar plan to downsize when our dcs are older (primary aged now so years to go). But we'd want to keep the house for a bit longer in case they wanted to live here after uni (we're in a good London location so good for postgrad or internships), or in case a flatshare or relationship didn't work out, or perhaps if they wanted to live here cheaply while saving a deposit.

In early retirement I'd much rather be close to amenities while I'm young and active. When we do downsize I'd want time to prepare for it rather than having to do it quickly to meet a completion deadline, so I have time to declutter and not be rushed into it.

Definitely do it

Move!

Hmmm. Do you really want to be "a bit further into the country" when you're in your 80s with mobility issues and perhaps unable to drive any more? You've got to think long term, and worst case scenario. I don't think you should rush into a move like this just because you've seen a nice house.

Do it IMO. With grown up children, this is your time to prioritise your needs including financial and practical planning for your 60s and beyond.

It can be nice to retain a familiar 'family home' for children and grandchildren to come to, IF you can afford it and that is what works for you and your lifestyle, but it's not an obligation nor necessary for their wellbeing.

Yes. Go view it. You seem to be at a stage in life where you need to start thinking of you more than your dd x2 needs. They are nearly adults and have their own lives to lead with gentle support from yourselves not the full support of when they were babies iyswim. Whereas they have their lives to live, so do you two! And that may mean a change of home too. If they do bounce back or need help in some way, you may be in a better position to help than you think.
view it, it might be perfect it might not be, but until you see it it will always be a maybe.

Well, true, but IME (DsC) it is lovely - if you can do it - to able to welcome them in their 20s, and to have them bring mates back etc - as long as they do leave again!

If you are lucky, it's quite a golden time: they are independent(ish) but have not yet separated into their own family unit with long-term partners and kids. If you would be happy to have your eldest back for a year, as you say, why throw that chance away? In a few years, she will be gone for good.

And, if you're OK financially, I don't see the rush. You might live another 40 years. It's different if you are strapped for cash, but it doesn't sound as if you are.

I'd be tempted to view. Or perhaps you have? An update would be interesting as we're looking to downsize and relocate but can't decide on a new location.

At least go see it and then decide from there. Houses are different in pictures.

I wouldn’t as you said current house is close to amenities but this one is further into the countryside. I would rather be close to shops, cafes etc as I get older.

I was about to say exactly what hellsbells said. Good to be connected as you get older. How much longer have you got left on the mortgage?

Wow I'd do it in a heartbeat.

They’re only in their 50s. They could do 10 years in a house with a nice view.

But yes ultimately they’d have to relocate to somewhere within walking distance of shops and amenities.

After watching my elderly parents cling on To their very unsuitable home, following their passing, DH and I decided to future proof our life and bought a bungalow.
It’s no smaller than our family home. 3 bedrooms, master ensuite, dedicated office for DH, stunning lounge and dining kitchen.
Garage, lots of parking and a gorgeous garden.

IMO, every o should buy a bungalow before they are in Desperate need.

Your decision is probably the right one @Borntobeamum BUT there isn't a bungalow in the right area for everyone who would like one to but.

Do it- the A levels will be finished in 3 months which is about the shortest time a house move takes. Much better to downsize “too early” than leave it until it’s too late. And if you have a bedroom for each daughter if needed they can’t really complain.

Zombie thread - unless the OP wants to update on what happened?!

Instead, we youngish boomers will keep our houses that we bought in the 80s and early 90s. We bought our house in 1997, without central heating (night store only). Since then, we have improved the insulation and replaced all the window glazing, revamped all the bathrooms and the kitchen; we also re-rendered the whole house. On average, we've spent £10-25k annually on keeping the house modern. Our £130k house is now worth 7X what we paid, and almost no one who works in our local area could afford to buy it as wages don't keep pace. So when we sell it to move 150 miles away, it will be bought by a person who brings money from outside the local area. Probably a Londoner who has sold their house at a Huge profit. Unless you are keen on gardening, and personally I'm not an enthusiast, the 1/3rd acre it comes with takes 2 young strong men two full days hard labour (£650) to just get to tidy.

On the other side of my equation, every house I look at in any area I like seems to cost at least 1.5 times as much per square foot as the house we shall be selling. And ugly. Usually an appalling location too. So we may well stay put. Our house is what we want, we can currently afford the contract labour, so please, give me a reason to move

@Borntobeamum

If only it were possible. They are very very expensive around here!!(SE)! But being snapped up, done up & being sold for a lot more. £££££££

I'm 55, fucked knees, I would love one, but can't afford to buy one, let alone do it up (being bought by developers with their own tradies).

@BobLobla

what did you end up doing??

I know it’s a zombie thread but I also need to know what happened after the @BobLobla went to view it!

Yep, I'd like to know too.

We did downsize to a bungalow, helps I grew up in one and love them. But for reasons to do with neighbours, we
are now in a larger unsuitable place and could do with some inspiration to move again!