Strong buyers’ regret 6 months after moving

[LimerickJune]

My partner and I bought a house together in June 2022. We had saved for so many years to get our foot on the property ladder but we ended up buying in quite a rush this summer, we’re both first time buyers and had no help, and we’re really desperate to get out of our living situation so I think we overlooked some of the major issues with this property.

It’s a three bed mid-terrace Victorian house and we can hear the neighbours constantly, and it definitely has insulation issues. It had been recently repainted, new kitchen and bathroom installed when we bought it - but we have realised after months of living here that those were very cheaply done.

The only toilet is downstairs and the pipe runs outside which got blocked recently. The bathroom gets so humid as it’s at the back of the house, the door stopped shutting for months because it absorbed so much water.

The staircase is so creaky, some of the floorboards under the carpet upstairs feel uneven, and the general layout of the house is incredibly awkward. The neighbourhood is also a bit more rubbish than we realised. It’s near the station (less than 10 min walk) but that’s the only good thing. We saw a house we preferred at the time of looking but for various complicated tax reasons thought we couldn’t afford it. We’ve since realised we could have, and that one didn’t even sell for much over asking so we definitely could have gotten it. It was a lot nicer than we one we bought but we didn’t think we could do it and now it’s hard to not making comparisons about things that were better in that house like the parking, it was semi detached, nearer better supermarkets. But like I say, we had our reasons (albeit flawed) for buying the one we did and offering as much
as we did.

The small issues with the house though are compounded by the fact that we overpaid. Looking at how much neighbours’ houses are selling for now, we are certain we overpaid, and by potentially as much as £60k. The house was already below our max budget so we didn’t overextend ourselves at all, and can afford the mortgage but we just can see that it definitely is not worth how much we paid - and we regret jumping into that decision because we felt pressured. It definitely seems like we’ll make a loss when we eventually sell. The only blessing is we locked in a low mortgage rate in June before they rose so much more - that is really lucky.

I’ve done what I can to make the house feel homely - repainted a couple walls and built in cupboards, made every effort to put up nice pictures, etc, and get our things in order. But my partner says being in the house makes him miserable, and every little thing that is a bit annoying like the creaky floor or the stiff doorknob, or hearing a neighbour talk, drives him completely crazy. We argue about it almost every day because it was a joint decision but we didn’t communicate very well through it so there’s a lot of resentment on both sides as I think we agree it’s really not that nice a house. We’re happy to have somewhere to live but the thought that we blew all our hard earned savings on a place that is pretty rubbish, is a hard pill to swallow.

The house is making us miserable, there’s been one thing after another since we moved in and I can’t see us being happy here when the first 6 months have been so poor. I wondered if we should consider saving and doing some major works to it - there’s definitely scope to extend a bit at the back, and we could do a loft conversion like some neighbours have done, and put in an upstairs bathroom. But first - that’s all so expensive and we’d need to save for ages to do that and would be a push, and second - we already feel we’ve thrown too much money into this house, I don’t know how much more we want to throw at it if we are ultimately going to want to move away from it as soon as we can.

Has anyone else ever gotten over such strong buyers regret? Did you just pack up and move or what did you do to help? It feels like what was meant to be a beautiful step in our relationship that we’d been working toward for sooo many years, is going to tear us apart.

Hi OP,

Congratulations on your first home.
I don't have much to offer, but I think you need to remind yourself, no matter where you bought or what you bought, there will nearly always be teething problems. Every property we've lived in there has been issues. Noise, insulation, creaks, poorly done DIY, structural issues.

Unless you can hand pick a brand new house and choose every aspect of it, you will run into issues anywhere. (Even new builds have big cons as well as big pros.) all you can do is make it your home. Its probably quite unsettling if you're still needing work done, as when you buy a house you have a vision of what it will look like, and yours probably doesn't look like that yet. But it will through time.

I absolutely wouldn't pack up and move again. Plus if you sell up now, it's highly unlikely you'd make any money.
If your other half is that miserable, then he needs to work on fixing some of the issues to make I'm feel better about living there. As packing up a house you've just bought, and trying to find another 'perfect' home, probably making a loss, and probably having to do work on another home will make him more miserable.

I hope it all works out best for you, but most / all of the issues you've listed can be changed or improved. If money is the issue, then it is what it is. In that case you really stretch to move again anyway?

I hope things work out for you both though. I'm not underestimating how miserable it is. It's shit. But only you and him can plan to make changes and make it feel like your home.

Also, what did your other half expect re noises and creaking? It's a Victorian house? Surely that's a given! It sounds like all was a bit rushed but it's been done now.

But he as well as you chose this house. He can't expect to buy a Victorian house and for it to be not making any normal housey noises!

I think this is normal in the first 6-12 months after moving to feel unsettled. The only time I haven’t felt unsettled is when I moved to a new build flat…that was like living in a hotel 😂

when we moved to our current house (3 bed 1930s terrace), it didn’t feel like home for a long time. It needed extensive renovation and still felt like ‘someone else’s’ house. At times I regretted taking it on. It felt dirty and old and not mine.

Give it time. See what small/inexpensive changes you can make not necessarily to add any value but to make you feel more at home.

It is also normal to hear neighbours through the wall in a terraced house. We hear the old man next door laughing at the tv every night 🥰

I cried so much after we bought our first house. We got it at a good price, just before covid hit but it has cost us so much since including new roof, windows and door on the conservatory, new driveway, new windows and front door on the rest of the house, new flooring throughout and a new boiler, so far costing over £35k! We still have issues including a recently condemned gas fire, a very badly positioned boiler (couldn't afford to have it moved when we had it replaced last month) and no ventilation in the kitchen or bathroom (both of which are badly done and need replacing). All of the radiators are in stupid places and it's very hard to position furniture in the bedrooms and living room. So many things we didn't think about in the excitement of buying.

It's hard and I don't think I'll ever "love" the house but for us it was more about location and affordability. No advice except that I do think its normal and the cost of living is not helping as it slows down savings for all the changes you'd like to make!

If you were desperate to get out of your previous situation, might it be possible to try to concentrate on the pluses compared to that? I do sympathise with your predicament, though, and I hope things improve for you.

So sorry to hear you feel regret with your first home. I think a lot of people felt rushed and pressure into buying houses in the spring/summer which meant that for many they perhaps didn’t take as much time to consider all the pros and cons of the house. Also it’s easy to get swept along with the excitement of buying a house.
we are waiting for exchange on our next home but know that we overpaid in the summer when the market was crazy and the house wouldn’t sell for the same amount now.
if it’s not a forever house it might not be worth spending thousands on extending etc but just doing what you can to improve the things that make you unhappy.
the good thing is that you are now on the property ladder.
Hope you feel more settled soon

BTW you will probably find that the creaking floorboards are because they will have been lifted for central heating pipes etc. The boards never seem to fit properly after that. The noise from next door is likely to happen unless you live in a detached. A lot of this is really unrealistic expectations. Did you have a proper survey? Not just the one needed for a mortgage but one telling you everything that needs doings. I don't think that you have made much of a mistake. Try to do things little by little to make it more homely and see how you feel in a years time.

OP, I remember buying my first house 10 years ago, I cried for about 2 months after completion because I thought it was the biggest mistake of my life. We made small improvements and eventually sold it about 2.5 years later for a small profit. Nothing is forever - concentrate on paying off as much as you can to build up your equity and make improvements as and when you can. We've just moved into our 3rd home which is the 'forever home' and it needs lots of work - we don't even have a cooker but I know it will be fantastic when we get through all the work but its going to take years. There's always work to be done on any property regardless of price

I think house prices have come down a bit recently, so don’t be disheartened to see others are selling for less.

Houses selling for less are because of higher rates. You have a good rate so don't worry too much. Plus moving up the ladder is generally easier when prices aren't rising.

Every house has issues tbh.

If you are really unhappy I think you should sell. But you might lose money. I definitely wouldnt invest more money in it.

Older houses do creek and do seem to constantly want something doing to them. But I would be fine with that and you can sort things as you go. I always found the creeking at night quite comforting.

Noisy neighbors would do it for me. But I've a history of recovering from noise and anti social behaviour

Give it another 6 months and if you feel the same and you’ve recovered your savings from moving, sell and buy something nicer

Sympathies OP. I could have almost written your post. We’re 5 months in and I have good and bad days.

I think if you sold now you would likely lose money, do you think you could set yourself a time limit, say a year or 2? Do as much as you can to improve the house (on a budget) and see how you feel then?

it’s so hard when you don’t like your home (I’m a real homebody so find it particularly hard I think). What I would say is that you aren’t alone, I think there have been a few threads from people feeling like this, particularly with the way the market was recently - I think a lot of people settled and maybe bought houses they wouldn’t have as it was so hard to ‘win one’.

it’s great that you’re no longer renting and have the stability of never being kicked out by a landlord. When I feel really down about our house I try and tell myself we are fortunate really we didn’t stretch ourselves to buy it, and anything we do to it will only make it better.

Omg I could have written this! Bought in a rush this year after saving hard for years, overpaid £70k, house is a nightmare and ceu with regret. First time buyers too. I’ve discussed moving in early 2024 (before Stamp duty goes back up) as even if I sell this for less, which is inevitable, the house I want will also cost less. No house is forever if you don’t want it to be, life is too short and you’re on the ladder which is more than a lot of people. Be strong!

I honestly think this happens more than you can imagine. I felt the same for the first year or so but I've now been in the house for 18 years and am very happy here. I do look forward to the day I live in a detached house though.

The problems you describe sound exactly the same as the first house we bought (also a Victorian terrace)

Id stick it out, it sounds like the location is good being near a station so maybe look at home improvements and put your stamp on it a bit. Once we started this in our old house it started feeling much more homely.

It's happened a lot these past couple of years because of the crazy market. 15 minute viewing and then a massive amount of pressure to bid against people, missing out, and underpinned by rising rents, rising house prices, shortage of rentals, a pandemic that's made us all fearful.

So I'm not suprised.

It's tough, really tough and I know exactly how you feel. I did the exact same thing around 2007 and took quite a big hit on my finances and mental health.

The entire market is dysfunctional and stacked against buyers. I just wanted to say that you're not a mug, you're just someone living in a Country with an inhumane housing situation.

We felt like this in our last house, we stayed 5 years.

We did work to it and made a kitchen/living space in one but the rest of the house really wasn't great.

I cried when we left!

But admittedly I love our new house although that too has a lot more wrong with it than we knew when we bought it. It's impossible to notice all the small things at viewings, even for those of us that aren't first time buyers.

Your DH needs to get some perspective. It's just a house, there are much more important things in life. It won't be forever.

We're exactly the same. Massively overpaid, house needs everything doing to it. We've already done electrics and radiators, doing the flooring (wonky boards and joists, $$ to put right), next is kitchen and then bathroom. Probably not the forever home (??) but no immediate plans to move, so may as well do it up. Maybe that's not sensible idk.

Re the acoustics, look into small things you can do to improve soundproofing - positioning of furniture, flooring, etc. But from what you're saying it doesn't sound like you've been cursed with nightmare neighbours- no loud music, middle of the night fights, loud sex or smoke seeping through the cracks. Everyday life sounds are no biggie and you'll get used to them. Tyr to get to a point where you consider them as soothing background noise, just like the "brown noise" tapes people actually pay good money for.

5 months for us too.
Happy over the summer, plenty to do and full of motivation.
Now, like you, what were niggles seem like insurmountable flaws.
Parts of the house are freezing which saps spirit and motivation.
We wonder separately and together if we have made a mistake but manage to get past it.
We have come to the conclusion we are here until the spring whatever so will do what we can, make the best of it and see how we feel then.

@LimerickJune This is so weird ... My daughter and her fiancé were going to buy a house four years ago exactly like you describe. Mid terrace Victorian, on a main road, in a much rougher part of town than they thought, only 10 minutes walk from the train station, seemed to have a lot going for it, and thought it was romantic and exciting coz it was Victorian.

When her dad and I went round it to look at it with them, we actually saw loads of problems. Damp, mildew, silverfish, paint flaking, woodlouse, floorboards creaking, damp in the toilet, cracks and bits missing in between the bricks, missing roof tiles, big swathes of damp on the corner of the wall at the back, condensation running down the windows at the north facing back room, even though it was June etc.

They were so star struck by this Victorian house they said they're going to put an offer in. I moaned, and poo-pooed it, and her dad did too, saying it's a money pit, it has multiple issues, and we said she would hear everything from either side, and it would be a disaster to buy it. The next day she said she is so fed up with us, as we'd put her fiancé off. He refused to buy it.

So long story short, they didn't put an offer in. BUT they ended up putting an offer in a week later, on a 3 bed detached house with half an acre of land, that was only £17,000 more than the first one. The first one was overpriced IMO because of the close proximity to shops and train station, and because people seem to be drawn to Victorian homes, despite them being money pits with colossal heating bills!

This second house is a late 1970s house. Apart from maybe £1500 to £2000 on little bits and bobs of cosmetic work, and a little bit of damp the size of a dinner plate cause by a small crack in the wall that was fixed really quickly, it's an absolute gem. It's only two thirds of a mile further away too, so still fairly close to shops and pubs and train station etc... and it's in a much nicer area too. This was 4 years ago, and it's now worth £25,000 more than what they paid for it. And after the first few weeks of doing little things that needed doing, NOTHING else has needed doing since.

Anyway, all this aside, from what you're saying, you're never going to be happy in this house. I really strong strongly recommend you sell it. I'm sure some property buyer/property developer will buy it, and do it up all fancy and nice, and spend the money it needs to make it right for someone. OR someone will buy it who is a builder and can do all the work cheap.

Yep I would put the house on the market in January if it were me.

Give it a time limit.

Yes it will be a faff to move again but so what. You're on the property ladder now which is more than a lot of people can dream of.

You know what to look for next time!

This was me.
apart from there isn’t anything wrong with the house per say. I don’t like the layout but it’s decorated beautifully.

I just hate the area. It’s a village but a soulless village surrounded by new build estates and no real countryside.

We’ve been here 18 months and are coming up to exchanging on a new house. We didn’t have the financial implications though; somehow we’ve actually made 50k on the house after stamp duty costs. But even if not, if I could afford a house where I will be happier - life is too short.

The new house felt more like home the first time we viewed it then this one ever has.

I think you have 2 choices:-

Cut your losses and start preparing to sell (whilst also looking for your next property), or

Start tackling some of the problems that annoy you. You can easily fix that door knob and even the creaking stairs, and even put noise reducing insulation on the internal walls, to cut down the noise. Most people start out without much knowledge, but you learn as you go along. There's so much information out there, you can easily find the the solution to a problem. YouTube, especially is a treasure trove of instructions on how to do everything!

Good luck!