Moving from C London to a quite small village with a PFB - any advice?

[ChampagneSupernova]

Hello MNers
Currently living in London and we've just found a gorgeous house in a lovely village in herts. We've made an offer and are hoping to complete when the baby is around a month old at the end of April(gulp).

At the moment I don't have a huge circle of ante natal friends in London so I'm counting on "getting out there" with my baby in the village.

Village itself has a playgroup and a church which I'm hoping to get involved in - just wondering if there are any other things I've not thought about.

I can drive but haven't done it much in over ten years so will need a bit of a country driving refresher I think ) but will have to with the move (though we've checked that we can get supermarket delivery )

Any top tips from village dwellers old and new gratefully received and much appreciated...

lololol at WI

av age 75 here - '5 things that fit in a matchbox' being a typical topic

stamp it out I say

Yes, yes, to all the above. And having a dog to walk helps, too. I found the combination of children in prams and a dog meant lots of people chatted to me.

The more you put in to a village the more you get back. Our family helped create a village playground and I help in the local primary school. My husband chaired the parish council for a few years. It's been a lot of work but I feel very grounded here now.

When your children get older, Brownies and Scouts, etc, help to weave them in. The thing I love is that most people in our village know our children by sight and I'm sure that if there were any funny business (someone stopping a car and trying to get them to get in) there's a good chance a neighbour would be keeping an eye open. I let mine have almost complete freedom to roam now--they're nine and eleven.

Ours is more 'how many units of wine can you fit in your stomach', and as an atheist who has moved across the country for the nth time, working from home full time, it's so nice to be able to join something where people want to talk to you, but you aren't commited to doing anything.
In fact would rather join group of 75 year olds than never get to go out in the evening.

The more you put in to a village the more you get back.

yes thast why i never get involved

actually things improved once my dds started school, lovely mums and lots of mates

agree with everything that everyone else has said (and I agree with squiffy about sending dh to the pub - although I wish I didn't )

Ask your HV about toddler groups/baby groups/new mum groups. There might be one the next village along that you haven't noticed.

Don't try to change anything about the village (eg - don't try to set up a toddler group, even if there are hundreds of toddlers there) the villagers will just see you as an interfering townie. You have to have been there years before you earn the right to suggest something, no matter how helpful.

Completely agree with torches in odd places. You need to be able to get to a torch in complete darkness. Living in London you have probably never experienced darkness like you will when the power goes off in a village

It's great fun and lovely, lovely, lovely. Make sure you go out for a walk every day. And say hello or good morning to everyone you come across.

Never, ever make village idiot jokes.

You'll be fine

You will get asked to be on any committee going- always desperate for new blood!! Politely say no you'd be glad to help but want to settle in first (PFB good excuse not to!!)

After about 5 years you get to know who is who (roughly) & then can support the causes/groups you REALLY want to!!

(BTW you are still considered "new" for about 10 years & only a "local" after 15!!!)

Turn up to the opening of an envelope-support everything even if it means just taking along a bottle of wine for a raffle. DD1 & I went to all the do's /coffee mornings etc top get to know people.

If there's a local village magazine/newsletter get that as it's a valuable source of info.

Good Luck - we love it!

I do agree with Enid about joining the WI. it would never suit me. According to reports in the village newsletter ours has exciting activities such as "Mrs S gave us a very interesting talk about her hyacinths". Followed by a long list of which members are in hospital or ill that month.

My 7 year old dd roams free in our village, as Bridie says, round here there are lots of people who she knows already wandering around, keeping an eye on things, and who she could go to for help. That's a definite plus.

My local WI consider themselves groundbreakers and non conformists. On their programme at the moment is whisky tasting, belly dancing and quad biking. Still haven't joined though - first have to brace myself for barrage of piss taking from DH

It seems that WIs vary a lot. DP's aunt is/was the national WI president and she's quite a lively type. But still, no. absolutely not. I'd move back to the city first.

Enid,your WI sounds like ours.They have 'the prettiest tea cup competition',which doesn't sound too mentally stimulating.My mum caused uproar there when she first moved here,by suggesting that they had different biscuits with their cup of tea.They don't like change.My mum didn't like the WI.

I was actually asked to join the WI,after my chutney beat the vice president of the WI's at the village show..I gracefully declined.

yes free-range children a definite plus

mine have a walkie talkie and roam all over the place